copperbadge:

syncytio:

copperbadge:

Margot, the love interest, is excessively good at banter, and a telepath. 
Lamont, the hero, is excessively fond of un-hero-like cackling.

syncytio: Lamont, what were you expecting with a woman who can read your mind
etharei: is she tony stark
copperbadge: Haha, Lamont Cranston as Tony’s granddad
iamcaptainskye: i kinda want tony to be descended from her
syncytio: Lamont and Margot as tony’s grandparents would be great. Telepath tony with a flair for the dramatics
etharei: omg Tony bursting into an evil cackle, and then he looks rly embarassed. And the avengers r like WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
copperbadge: “Granddad taught me how to do the Evil Laugh. Grandma taught me when I should do it. Granddad was….indiscriminate.”
etharei: OMG TONY JUDGING VILLAINS ON THEIR CACKLE
lexrhetoricae: There has to be a villain-cackle algorithm
syncytio: Grandma also taught him not to be ashamed to use his talent to cheat at cards
KatHawkins: Sam, I think you are now obligated to write this
copperbadge: noooooooooooooo
iamcaptainskye: too late. We don’t make the rules
copperbadge: I suppose I should incorporate it into the fanfic I’m never going to write about how Howard’s grandfather was RDJ Sherlock Holmes
copperbadge: Tony’s pedigree is Holmes on the father’s side, Cranston on the mother’s
syncytio: The Stark family tree is a bit of a mess and full of scoundrels
copperbadge: It’s a very difficult balancing act which is why he’s kind of bonkers.

“You’re here! Mi casa, su casa and all that,” Tony says, then disappears into his lab.

Pepper rolls her eyes, says, “Welcome to the Avengers Tower,” and shows them around. 

The last thing she says before she leaves is, “Sometimes, he cackles, just ignore it.”  

Everyone turns to look at Natasha, seeing as how she has the most first-hand knowledge of Stark. “Cackles,” Steve says flatly.

She makes a face. “I’d almost forgotten about that.”

“Yeah, but cackling,” Clint prompts.

“It’s a Stark thing. You’ll get used to it.”

That was a complete lie. Clint screams the first time he hears Tony cackle, then slinks away up into the vents in shame. The second time, it wakes Thor up from his nap and the coffee table is sacrificed to Thor’s lightning battle reflexes. 

“Tis most unnerving,” Thor says later.

The third time Bruce Hulks out and the entire sixty-fifth floor has to be rebuilt. 

“Does he know he’s doing this?” Steve asks Natasha one night, when the team’s watching Ace Ventura and Tony cackle every three seconds. Clint is perched on the back of the couch, one more cackle away from a nervous break down, and Bruce had long ago left for the safer pastures of his lab. 

“Nope,” Natasha says and pointedly eats her gelato. 

—-

AND THEN SHIT HAPPENS I GUESS. Idk.

“You know, it reminds me of something,” Steve says one evening, after a particularly startling cackling fit. 

“The gates of hell opening?” Clint asks. 

“You know I pay for your food and give you housing for free,” Tony points out.

“I don’t think free is how I’d put this situation,” Clint argues.

“No, it’s like — there was this old radio show we used to listen to,” Steve says, like he’s trying to remember. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows! Mwoo ha ha ha!” he tries, but after Tony’s cackling, it falls flat. 

"Oh yeah, the Shadow, that was granddad,” Tony says absently, eating popcorn.

“What?” Clint and Steve ask in unison. 

“Lamont Cranston? The Shadow? The radio play was based on his memoirs. He was my mother’s father,” Tony says, then lets out a tiny mwaha! at a particularly funny scene in Star Trek IV.  Clint shudders.

“Your grandfather was The Shadow?” Steve asks, disbelieving.

“Yep. He married a telepath, too. You’re all lucky Grandma Margot taught me how to control it and Grandpa Mont taught me basic ethics, or I would be all up in your business.”

"Is that why you always win at poker?” Clint asks suspiciously. 

Tony holds his fingers out and waggles them like a mentalist. “You didn’t just ask that question. You won’t remember this conversation later.”

Clint bats his fingers aside. “Come on, I’m not fallin’ for that.”

Tony grins, feral, and the air goes staticky. “Okay. Just bring me a beer.”

Clint’s eyes blank out. “Yes, Tony,” he says mechanically.

“That’s not ‘cool’, Tony,” Steve says, as Clint disappears into the kitchen.

“Oh, fine, I’ll snap him out of it when he gets back. Nobody ever lets me have minions,” Tony grumbles.