Tag: sexuality

aroacepagans:

queerbert:

aroacepagans:

Holy shit. Holy fuck. I got my little sister the book “sex is a funny word” because she’s at that age where she’s reading a lot of puberty books and I’d heard that this one was lgbtq+ friendly, but I was checking it over for accuracy and I gotta say, even with the totally gender neutral language they were using to talk about body parts and the really respectful way they talk about gender and their portrayals of same sex couples I was so fucking sure that I would have to mention that not everyone gets crushes or feels attraction separately. Because these books never talk about that. But here it is. The one thing I was so absolutely sure wouldn’t be included.

I honest to god dropped the book when I saw this I was so shocked. And I’m so fucking happy right now. I can’t exspress how much I wish this was mentioned in the books I read when I was a kid. It would have saved me so much confusion, and I’m so happy that kids today are gonna read this and know that it’s okay and normal to not get curses. I’m so so fucking happy you have no idea.

Is this the right book?

https://www.corysilverberg.com/sex-is-a-funny-word/

Sex is a Funny Word

Yes it is! And like holy shit, I really had to set the book down so I wouldn’t start crying. I’m so happy, look at this.

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I had? No expectation my exsperiances would be represented in this and here it is. Like I can’t even put my emotions around this into words.

This is awesome.

badumshhh:

the real reason dumbledore ain’t gonna be gay in the newest film is because jude law took one look at johnny depp and refused to even pretend to have affection for that bleached little not-colin-farell

The thing is, Jude Law is about the Straightest Guy in the world (RDJ actually described him as Disappointingly Heterosexual in an interview) but he is utterly secure in his masculinity, so he’s happily played Bosie in Wilde with sex scenes and full frontal nudity, and shut down interviewers who tried to ‘no homo’ his description of the Sherlock Holmes film as a romance without turning a hair. If there was ever going to be a straight man playing Dumbledore as gay he would be TOTALLY comfortable doing it, so even though it’s without question studio straightwashing, I love the idea of Jude looking at Depp and declaring, with a perfect lip-curl, that there are things he just won’t do on camera because they’d make him less of a man.

alder-berry:

baital:

rachellephant:

the most important thing to me ever is bi kids knowing that it’s ok to be 10% attracted to women and 90% attracted to men or 10% attracted to men and 90% attracted to women and still feeling ok to identify as bi, and still feeling like their identity is valid, and still feeling like they can lead fulfilling lives with both (or other) genders. like that’s just so fricking important.

I’m a bi adult and you know what? I needed this. Thank you.

it’s also important to remember that it can be a fluid % like sometimes it’ll be 50/50 some times 10/90 and then drift into a 45/65 or even 2/98 and it’s still okay. It’s just where you are at that time in your life. 

You’re also still bi if there’s a gender you’re in theory attracted to but in practice can’t date because prior domestic violence, rape, or sexual abuse has made that gender Not Safe for you. You’re equally valid as someone who dates whoever they’re attracted to without trauma. Be kind to yourself, and don’t force yourself to date outside your comfort zone for the sake of meeting some kind of false standard.

And yet fanfiction is an inherently transformative work which, by its very nature, strives to address or change some flaw that exists in canon, even if that flaw is “why isn’t there more of this thing?!” Fanfiction has addressed the lack of gay men by making straight characters gay; it’s addressed countless cultural misappropriations with wildly varying AUs; it’s addressed canon plot holes and timeline issues with fix-it fics and crossovers. Fanfic is the show your show could be like, if only you dared to dream.

But for all its transformative nature, fanfiction and fandom still suffer from a real dearth of femslash. Beyond the simple fact that very few girls exist in canon materials, the societal emphasis on the male gaze seems to have affected fanficcers’ creativity to such an extent that even in our own fantasies, we cannot give women a fair shake. Just as the answer to “Why is there so much slash?” cannot be boiled down to “ Well, straight girls are horny”, the answer to “Why isn’t there any femslash?” cannot be boiled down to “Well, straight girls don’t care.” The bias against female characters and female pleasure is an ingrained, institutionalized problem which won’t go away on its own.

Conclusion of Lady Geek Girl and Friends’s fascinating article on femslash and fandom (do give it a read if you’re interested!)

interesting

(via spiralstreesandcupsoftea)

a discussion on sexual orientation

me: *explaining various sexual orientations to a classmate*
classmate: wait, what’s polyamory?
me: well, it’s when someone has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
professor: *overhears from front of class*
professor: that is d i s g u s t i n g
me: *defensively* um, actually, no it’s–
professor: how DARE they put a greek prefix on a latin root like that?! What right do they have to decimate my beautiful antiquated languages?!?! GREEK AND LATIN DO NOT FRATERNIZE THIS IS LIKE THAT STUPID ROMANTIC SUBPLOT BETWEEN THAT DWARF AND THAT ELF IN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!
me: ….
me: ….
me: ….
professor: it should be polyerosy

actuallyclintbarton:

darren-freakin-criss:

takealookatyourlife:

heroicallyfound:

svetlana-del-rey:

Was she going to slap you because you never in any way made him gay in the actual books, taking zero risks/doing absolutely nothing for gay characters in literature, and only announcing your “authorial intent” afterwards for a cheap shot at looking like an ~ally~

^^^

Gay people are just normal people. We are not told about any of the Hogwarts professors love lives, other than Snape, and it would be completely out of character for Dumbledore to walk around telling everyone about his sexuality.

Did you want her to make him dress in glittery platform boots, a crop top, and decorate his office in rainbow flags to make it more obvious for you? Would that be enough of a stereotype to appease you people? Or what? Please tell me. I’d like to know how you think a gay character is supposed to be portrayed.

And did you miss the Grindelwald chapters in the ‘actual books’? Or was that also not obvious enough for you? Did Dumbledore need to whisper “always” wistfully in order for you to connect that he had romantic feelings for Grindelwald? Maybe you are American and need them to gaze longingly into each others eyes with awkward close ups of their fingers almost grazing each other that Hollywood thinks means ‘true love’. 

It didn’t fit into his relationship to Harry to ever say “I’m gay”, and so it was not stated explicitly (you might have noticed the book was told from Harry Potter’s perspective).

The point is though, that he is a homosexual, well respected, powerful, and very loved wizard- and his sexuality doesn’t matter because no one else thinks it matters. a.k.a. no one care that he loves men, and that is wonderful. 

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Yeah, but the fact still stands that people try to give JK Rowling LGBT Ally Points for it when she should be getting none.

All it would’ve taken to make this canon was one throwaway line while discussing Grindlewald with Harry, something like “I loved him.” Just casually thrown in there. Easy to miss. AND HE WOULD HAVE BEEN CANONICALLY GAY. Or hell, even have Aberforth mention something about how he thought Albus was sweet on him or something. That would have at least been better than what we got.

I’m sorry but Word of God after the fact, in the case of representation? Means absolutely fucking ZILCH to a great many queer people, myself included.

Also wow glittery platforms? Stereotypes? takealookatyourlife you should examine your url and apply it because that is a really fucking insulting paragraph and it actually makes me want to punch a wall a little bit from how asinine and bigoted it is. NO ONE was asking for stereotypes or even non-stereotyped IN YOUR FACE SEXUALITY. We’re saying that retroactively (from the POV of a reader who has not been privy to your unmentioned worldbuilding) making a character gay does NOT do anything for representation and should not earn you ally cookies.

Also, what I find problematic with Dumbledore being the character she chose to make gay is that he has one relationship, one romance, and his life goes to shit. His lover turns out to be evil, his sister dies, and Dumbledore goes, “woah, shit, okay, CELIBATE FOREVER IS THE ANSWER.” So any positive is vastly outweighed by the negative of Dumbledore being punished and punishing himself for his entire life for falling in love with a boy when he was young. The message queer kids take away from the story of Dumbledore is one of internalised homophobia, self-censorship and heartache, not that of a role model who became the most powerful wizard and was also queer. To become that powerful person, it’s heavily implied that Dumbledore’s chance at a relationship, love and companionship had to be sacrificed. Dumbledore is not a positive gay role model, because to make him gay, JKR had to castrate him, and then, only show him through the eyes of others – the friend who loved him, unrequitedly, from afar, and the tabloid press, who burned him in effigy.

Oh, and further, I have seen a comment floating around that she thought about making Dean/Seamus canon but ‘thought it would detract from the main characters/story’. No. It wouldn’t. A line about them going to the ball together. A kiss when they reunite in the Room of Requirement. A sentence about them standing on Platform 9 ¾ with Junior Thomas-Finnegan, waving him off to school. Any of these things would have taken a few sentences at most, but would have given queer kids representation, and couple of characters they had grown to know and love that they could now identify with. What JKR means when she says ‘detract’ is that she chose, deliberately to a) practice erasure and b) conform to heteronormative standards as to how we portray children before they are of sexual majority, to which I say fuck you.

Dear #actuallyautistic and #askanautistic

watchkeyphone:

Talk to me about your experiences with being temporarily and/or partially nonverbal?

I still can’t figure out if I’ve ever experienced it. A lot of the ‘official’ information (e.g. books) about autism doesn’t seem to mention it as a thing that sometimes happens to people who can usually speak – but it seems like the vast majority of usually-speaking autistic people mention it as a personal experience.

The closest thing I can think of that I have experienced is a few different thing:

1. When I get kind of ‘hyper-verbal’ when I’m overloaded, and my speech is very garbled and quick, and isn’t really communicating anything I want to say. E.g. I respond to a question quickly without realising and I say something that is the opposite of my actual opinion.

2. There are sometimes times when I have trouble putting a thought into words or working out how to respond to something (e.g. a vague question), but this doesn’t seem to fit the usual descriptions of being nonverbal? Because it’s normally due to the context and specific to the thing that I’m trying to say (e.g. I can’t explain one specific thing, but I can easily tell the other person that I can’t explain it), rather than a ‘global’ inability to speak.

3. Times when i am very reluctant to speak and it feels like a bit struggle to get words out. In this case its more often to do with the person I’m speaking to- usually when I’m socially tired and I really don’t want to spend the energy on interacting. But it’s not impossible for me to speak – I usually just keep my responses brief to try and stop the interaction from lasting a long time (and I can get irritable if people try to keep going).

So. Tell me about how it feels when you become nonverbal? Are you ever ‘partly’ nonverbal in any of the ways I describe? Would you consider them ‘types’ of nonverbal-ness, or just other facets of autistic communication differences? Is it possible/plausible that I’ve never been ‘fully’ nonverbal? Is it possible to have been nonverbal and not noticed? (infodumps greatly appreciated – reblogs/asks/submissions welcome)

The times I have actually experienced this are:

1. When I’m overloaded/having a meltdown/super frustrated or emotional. It’s like a ‘block’. The words are in my head, or, at least the feeling of what I want to communicate is, but I can’t make my mouth move to say them or translate what I’m feeling and force it out. When the overload or whatever passes, it eases off and talking becomes possible again, though fully unhindered speech may take time.

2. During sex, to a lesser degree. Rather than impossible, I often find forming words really hard when I’ve got all that sensory input, and taking the focus off enjoying myself and putting it into co-ordinating speech is kind of annoying, so I don’t tend to try unless I have to (i’m uncomfortable/in pain, i’m oversensitive, etc), or I’ve been asked a direct question that needs answering, like, ‘am I hurting you?’, ‘do you need more lube?’ or, ‘what do you need? (if something’s not doing it for me)’.