Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.
imagine hearing “well if he didn’t want to be shot, he should have worn a bulletproof vest” on a trial
The thing is, though, it is said, in the case of racial minorities and vulnerable people. How often has a black person been shot just for driving/walking/ringing the cops for help/wearing a hoodie/playing in a park? How often do people say they should have behaved differently, as though their actions were a logical precursor to their murder?
How often do Jewish people, Sikhs and Muslims get blamed for being ‘too’ who they are in public? Especially women wearing a headscarf or men wearing a turban? How many are told, ‘well, what did you expect?’ when they try to report a hate crime?
How many queer people are blamed for their own murders and assaults simply for existing in public spaces? How many are told that if they just made an effort to be normal, they’d have been safe? How many were assaulted when they were actually passing, but were outed as queer and found themselves trapped and abused by people who felt angry at being ‘tricked’?
How many disabled people have been murdered just for not being normal? How many autistic children and adults are killed by their caregivers annually, or subjected to torturous therapies to try to cure them? How many interviews, articles, memoirs and documentaries justify this cruelty in the name of normalisation and blame the disabled person for the impact of their disability on their families?
People have always blamed victims. Yes, it happens to victims of rape and sexual assault, and always has done, and is disgustingly regularly reported as justification for what happened. But it happens to others too. Also, please remember that the rates of rape and sexual assault of people of colour, queer people and disabled people are far higher than the general population, and that it is far harder for these victims to access the justice system, compensation and health/support services.
Feinstein: You’re a big, powerful man. Why didn’t you [gestures pushing motion]?
Crews: Senator, as a black man in America [sigh]…
Feinstein: Say it as it is. I think it’s important.
Crews: …you only have a few shots at success. You only have a few chances to make yourself a viable member of the community. I’m from Flint, Michigan. I have seen many many young black men who were provoked into violence, and they were imprisoned, or they were killed, and they’re not here. My wife for years prepared me. She said, “If you ever get goaded, if you ever get prodded, if you ever have anyone try to push you into any kind of situation, don’t do it. Don’t be violent.” And she trained me. I’ll be honest with you it was the strength of my wife who trained me and told me, “If this situation happens, let’s leave.” And the training worked because I did not go into my first reaction, I grabbed her hand, we left, but the next day I went right to the agency. I have texts, I have phone conversations, and I said, “This is unacceptable!” And I told them how -you know- I almost got violent, but I didn’t. And I said, “What are you going to do about this predator that you have roaming your hallways?” And -you know- I was told, “We are going to do everything in our power. We are going to handle this Terry. You’re right. It is unacceptable.” And then they disappeared. Nothing happened.
Look at the faces of the black men behind him it says it all.
This is real fucking infuriating. This shit isn’t funny. Fuck them and anyone who makes fun of Terry Crews speaking out and taking a stand.
I’ll keep reblogging this until people stop defending rape jokes
Not to be “that guy” but everyone who jokes about rape is ugly
Tbh this is the one time I’ll support the “it’s not just men” because everyone needs to cut this tf out
I’d like to caveat this with there being forms of survivor humour that are crucial to processing and healing trauma, particularly between two people who have been through the same kind of shit, so don’t police that if you don’t know what it’s fucking like. And even then, if one person is triggered by it, the other should be sensitive of that. But that’s between survivors, so unless you’re a survivor of rape or sexual assault, you don’t get to joke about that kind of experience.
billie joe armstrong is like…the definition of chaotic good. a prime example of this is the fact that one time at a green day concert this guy in the pit was harassing a young girl so billie stopped the show to help her. however, his way of doing so was to jump into the audience, dropkick the guy directly in the face, and then fight him in a crowd of screaming fans
This is missing the best part – when he saw the guy, he tried to be like “Dude, stop” and when the man didn’t stop pushing the girl around he screamed “Fine! You wanna fight? I’ll fucking fight you, then!” and leapt directly into the crowd
There’s a reason Green Day was my favourite band in high school, and Billie Joe Armstrong is it.
Trigger warning for mention of molestation/sexual assault
I’m going to say this upfront – this post is going to get really personal but reblogs are welcome, as are comments.
Anyway. My adopted dad was at one point a portrait photographer and ages ago he ran a Groupon. He’s not a photographer anymore because he molested both my sister and I. Three or so years ago I finally found the courage to tell my mom what happened and she kicked him out. There were criminal proceedings and he ended up being charged with a felony for child molestation and a misdemeanor (communication with a minor for amoral purposes). I’m not going to bog you down with all the other repercussions of his actions. All of the court proceedings and charges are public record so anyone could access them if they wanted to.
Less than a month ago, when a friend was looking for someone to do professional head shots, Groupon ran an ad (on their mobile app) asking if she was interested in my Dad’s photography business. The ad stated that if enough people responded, they would contact him for a new Groupon offer. The ad had our family’s home address attached (where he no longer lives).
While shocking, the ad in and of itself wouldn’t be a problem if Groupon had been willing to remove it. However, they have shown (via an exchange of multiple emails) that this issue is not very high priority. The emails have been mostly automated and when we finally got a hold of a person they basically told us to do research to find the contact information for another Groupon employee instead of giving us the information of the appropriate person. Please, please, please don’t support this company.
tl;dr Groupon ran an add for an for a person convicted with a felony for child molestation (who is a registered sex offender) that published the home address of his victims. They have been uncooperative about removing the ad. Please, don’t support them.
In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood [sexual] victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.
Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology… Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for… This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men.
I genuinely think everyone NEEDS TO KNOW this piece of information. That Freud changed his position, and that that change erased the voices and enabled the further victimisation of millions of women, right up until the current day. Whether you’re an abuse survivor, a professional working with abuse survivors, or just a member of the public, THINK before you dismiss women’s voices, because they have been dismissed for long enough.
knitting in the dark 