
Sorry for this relatable shit. My anxiety has been a bitch lately.

anyway adult self harm is a serious issue and not a sign of immaturity or something people should’ve just grown out of and people who don’t have a clue what it’s like should really try shutting the fuck up about it
Also, adult self harm doesn’t always look like teenage self harm. If you’ve ever denied yourself food or water or other basic self care, not because of executive dysfunction but because you think you don’t deserve to be fed or watered or cared for, because you think you’re trash, congrats, you self harm. As a teenager I used to self harm in ways that gave me scars. In my thirties, I self harm by denying myself things I need to survive or by forcing myself beyond my limits because I’m trying to justify my existence to some bogus standard my brain cooked up to punish me.
EDIT: This also applies to eating too much, drinking too much, etc because you think you deserve to feel sick and be fat and alone and whatever. It’s the shame and self loathing that are the core of the problem here. Most people who self harm will swing between denial and excess. It’s a self perpetuating cycle where you always lose.
I hate it when people tell me to trust my instincts. 100% of my instincts are:
– SHAME! THROW YOURSELF INTO THE SUN
– [error message + Eat an entire large papa john’s pizza and a package of break & bake cookies]
– Laugh to stop from crying, be aggressively mean or petty
– Fear-cry + try to fold into the smallest shape possible and become invisible
All this. Plus BONUS – ANXIETY! Are you afraid of something happening for no reason? YOU SHOULD BE.
ever notice that the mean voice in ur head that insults u is awful confident for something thats literally never done anything in its life except be mean to you… like… one of us is pathetic and its not me buddy… get a hobby… yikes
self care is roasting the mean voice in your head