You’ve seen the posts. Not genuine PSAs about current events or fundraisers or missing persons or the latest government fuckery. I’m talking about the ones that are the digital equivalent of chain letters. The ones that threaten you or your loved ones or your pets or something if you don’t reblog. The ones that imply that if you DON’T reblog some trite generalised wish of goodwill to other people then you’re somehow a bad person and you’re actively willing the opposite.
This is magical thinking BULLSHIT.
It’s gross and it’s bullying and it’s wrong.
I have anxiety. I have self-esteem issues, I have self-worth issues, I already feel like I am letting people down every day, for no reason.
So when, out of habit, you reblog that thing, the thing that says ‘reblog this to help xyz’ as though it magically has the power to do anything, usually with a bunch of reblogs below judging anyone who doesn’t, know that you are making people like me feel that little bit worse.
My reblog won’t magically protect your pet from harm this year or protect your laptop or protect all the millions of people out there on this planet from flood, fire, famine or stubbed toe. Your judgement of those who don’t reblog these banalities CAN do harm.
The ones I like? ‘Have you taken your meds?’ ‘Get up and stretch.’ ‘Have you drunk enough water?’ ‘You’re a good person, I know you’re trying.’ The ones that actively help people keep themselves safe and healthy, and have NO EXPECTATION OR REQUIREMENT of those seeing them to reblog. And those who do? The comments aren’t a guilt trip, they’re often thanks. ‘Oh thank you, I had forgotten.’ ‘That feels so much better, thank you.’ and ‘I really needed to see this right now.’
If you’re reblogging something because of ingrained superstition or guilt, please just take a moment and think WHY. And then if you actually want to reblog, do it, but remember – you are spreading this out in the world, and your actions aren’t benign.
^^all of this.
I have anxiety, too, and those guilt-trip post used to set me off into a downward spiral that could last days. In my earliest days I might even reblog them, but it wouldn’t really assuage the guilt. It’s such emotionally manipulative bullshit that is helping nobody.
If you are like me and anxious about not reblogging it, maybe frame it like this: by not reblogging, you are protecting your followers and mutuals from facing the same situation.
It helps me – I have a protective streak a mile wide and have always over-identified with helping people. I am the guard to the content I reblog – I tag them for you to blacklist or to find again later. And I have sworn an oath not to reblog those chain-posts, any form of the ‘why is nobody talking about this’, ‘you just don’t care if you don’t reblog’. And because I have cast this role for myself, standing between you and these irrational guilt-trips, I can pass those posts by with only a minor twinge these days.
Don’t fall into the trap of reblogging. And if it’s a good post but has bs comments on it, go to the source and reblog from there.
Tag: self care
Leave off the guilt, please
You’ve seen the posts. Not genuine PSAs about current events or fundraisers or missing persons or the latest government fuckery. I’m talking about the ones that are the digital equivalent of chain letters. The ones that threaten you or your loved ones or your pets or something if you don’t reblog. The ones that imply that if you DON’T reblog some trite generalised wish of goodwill to other people then you’re somehow a bad person and you’re actively willing the opposite.
This is magical thinking BULLSHIT.
It’s gross and it’s bullying and it’s wrong.
I have anxiety. I have self-esteem issues, I have self-worth issues, I already feel like I am letting people down every day, for no reason.
So when, out of habit, you reblog that thing, the thing that says ‘reblog this to help xyz’ as though it magically has the power to do anything, usually with a bunch of reblogs below judging anyone who doesn’t, know that you are making people like me feel that little bit worse.
My reblog won’t magically protect your pet from harm this year or protect your laptop or protect all the millions of people out there on this planet from flood, fire, famine or stubbed toe. Your judgement of those who don’t reblog these banalities CAN do harm.
The ones I like? ‘Have you taken your meds?’ ‘Get up and stretch.’ ‘Have you drunk enough water?’ ‘You’re a good person, I know you’re trying.’ The ones that actively help people keep themselves safe and healthy, and have NO EXPECTATION OR REQUIREMENT of those seeing them to reblog. And those who do? The comments aren’t a guilt trip, they’re often thanks. ‘Oh thank you, I had forgotten.’ ‘That feels so much better, thank you.’ and ‘I really needed to see this right now.’
If you’re reblogging something because of ingrained superstition or guilt, please just take a moment and think WHY. And then if you actually want to reblog, do it, but remember – you are spreading this out in the world, and your actions aren’t benign.
autism punk is
caring for your own well-being more than for the expectations of neurotypicals
You’re badass and you fucking deserve your own respect.
My dear lgbt+ kids,
This letter is for all of you who stim.
You’re not “crazy” or “weird”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Stimming is completely natural and normal – not only the kinds of stimming other people may consider aesthetic, such as glitter slime or paint mixing, but also hand-flapping, pacing, rocking, chewing etc.
You’re lgbt+, on the autism spectrum and stim? You’re lovely.
You’re lgbt+, have sensory processing disorder and stim? You’re lovely.
You’re lgbt+, have anxiety and stim? You’re lovely.
You’re lgbt+ and stim? You’re lovely!
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Mom
PS: “Wait, what is stimming?” Stimming is self-stimulatory behavior –
repetitive behaviors with which people stimulate and calm themselves. By repeating one stimuli, they block out other stimuli and avoid over-stimulation. It’s most prevalent in people with the above mentioned conditions.
Some months ago I did a two page comic for @mindovermatteranthology
It’s a zine about mental health and superheroes. Mine concentrated on self-care / self-love. I also wrote a little something explaining why I picked to do something on self-care, in which you can read about it in the zine (download for free! woop) here: https://gumroad.com/ricochetpress
Take a step back. Breathe, cry, scream, heal. You don’t have to be holding it all together in order to look after yourself.
It can be difficult when you’re disabled to consciously prioritise yourself.
To admit that you’re having a bad day and that you need to step away from everything that isn’t essential to your day-to-day survival.
Often, your subconscious can handle rationalising why you’re pushing off tasks.
The world won’t end if you live off Pot Noodle for a few days or the kitchen isn’t clean or you don’t shower over the weekend.
But right this second, in this political climate, it’s very easy to feel as if the world might end if you’re not marching or phoning people or engaging with incredibly heavy subject-matter constantly.
And everyone always tacks on “if you’re able”.
“Everyone should be doing this! But, like, I mean those who are able. Don’t feel bad if you can’t. But also, here’s a list of ways to engage with it anyway if it’s difficult for you. No pressure, but this person did it and they hate phone calls!”
But what about those of us who are nebulously able?
Who could maybe push ourselves, but at the expense of the essential day-to-day stuff, like our jobs or studies or basic self-care?
So here’s a reminder to everyone who is nebulously able: doing shit like this is for good days.
And it’s not even the first thing to do on a good day because you have to put the hoarding for bad days first.
Wait for a good day.
Make sure you’ve caught up on basics like shopping and cleaning and all of those things that shouldn’t have gotten so far down your list.
Make sure that engaging with these kinds of topics isn’t going to drain you of spoons that you need for the near future.
Then prioritise this stuff.
You’re no good to any cause if you’re burnt out.
Today was a Bad Day, anxietywise. I slept badly, I had to make a stressful phone call, and then we had a bunch of things that we had to leave the house for which Could Not be put off. We’d just done the third thing on the list and were swinging back to the grocery store end of the shopping centre when my partner hesitated and pulled fifteen dollars from her pocket and asked if I wanted to go to Lush.
I didn’t need to. I shouldn’t; I mean, we’re trying to save money. But the fact that she noticed I was struggling and offered something to help me through nearly made me cry on the spot.
Then, when I’d just gone in, and she’d wandered next door into Build-A Bear, suddenly, she was back with me, though usually just walking past Lush can give her a headache. “It wasn’t bothering me too badly so I thought I’d join you,” she said.
So we smelled some bath bombs and some soaps and settled on a thin slice of Rock Star, which I’ve wanted to try since I bought some for my sister last year, and Unicorn Horn, a Valentine’s day special bubble bar.
Then, when I got home, I ran the water as deep as I can in Mum’s broken spa bath and added just the tip of the bubble bar, just enough to make it bubble just enough. And it helped. It really did.
So, you know, my partner is just the greatest and I love her more than I can say.
how to have soft hair: so you know the part of the shower you spend staring into the indeterminable void, so far gone into nothingness that you almost expect it to reply, fully aware of the improbability of our continued existence, dazzled and terrified by the otherworldly creatures moving in a pane beyond ours, wondering if you’re imagining the black claws closing in around you? you put the conditioner in your hair before that
me: *softly, under many blankets* I’m trying
knitting in the dark 