I got to see this at a theatre today, and it was really, really good. If you can get to see it, you should. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to, because I didn’t know if ANY cinemas in Australia would be showing it, but there are three cinemas in my state (two in Sydney, one in Newcastle) showing limited screenings, and I went to the closest. The story is tight (limiting the story to the camp with occasional flashbacks was the right way to go), the actors are FANTASTIC, and the cinematography is beautiful. It’s a very honest adaptation. Even though there are small differences, tonally, it feels the same as the book, and it’s a lot closer to the source material than, say, Love, Simon is to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda.
I also said to my partner that it shows that you can make two movies with different tones about the same subject matter and still have them be a true account, comparing this to But I’m a Cheerleader. Both show the white supremacy and racism in this kind of therapy. Both show that it’s a fake science, with faith twisted up like a pretzel to justify it. Both show that it’s a system that singles out and crushes those who can’t pass as gender conforming. Both show the threat of ostracisation unless the kids submit to assimilation. Both show that the only way to win the game is to nope out all together, because that is the only way to survive something’s that meant to destroy you. I highly recommend watching both, anyhow, if you’re interested in the subject matter.
I love being queer. Queer is my favorite identity label; no other words capture the reality of my gender and sexuality so completely. My gender is queer. My sexuality is queer. I am queer. In addition to all of the other beautiful things that I am, I am queer.
I am proud to be queer. Queer is a fact about who I am. When I identify as queer, I am connected to a community and history of great strength. I am inspired by my queer ancestors. I am moved to fight for my queer siblings.
My queerness is a source of pride and courage.
My queerness is not shameful. My queerness is not unspeakable. My queerness is not dirty or harmful. My queerness will not be erased or denied or censored.
My queerness is radiant, defiant, loud, proud, beautiful, freedom.
No one and nothing can ever take this away from me.
This was exactly my reaction when, in 2015, a 15yo on Tumblr came and sent me a load of hate for being “an OMG ACTUAL ADULT” calling myself ‘queer’ and using ‘queer community’.
Like, how to put this. In Australia since the early 90s, ‘queer’ has been the accepted term to call that community. It’s a mainstream word. We say ‘queer theory’, ‘queer community’, ‘queer organisations’, etc. Another Australian who words for the government said it’s a perfectly acceptable term to use in policy documents and funding applications. Here, in Australia, queer hasn’t been a slur at any point in my life. The only Australians I’ve ever come across who think it’s a slur are people who spend too much time around American youths on social media.
I did a post about the international queer community, it got 5-7k notes (ish) and people from at least 10 other countries said ‘queer’ is not a slur in their country and it’s just the word that’s used for the queer community.
This is why it drives me nuts when a 15yo from South Carolina, USA assumes:
1) Her experience with ‘queer’ is the same as everybody else’s
2) A small number of people having a bad experience with ‘queer’ is an acceptable reason to deny and police usage by the entire wider international queer community
The short of it is that it’s not acceptable. Many older queer folks have used this word for decades – it’s been in common use since at least the 80s. In the past 3 years it’s become very fashionable (mostly only on Tumblr, but on pockets of social media elsewhere, too) to treat queer as this Big Bad Slur (forgetting that there are many other slurs and most of our language gets used as slurs at some point by various people) and to pop up on every fucking post that mentions queer like “UM EXCUSE ME IT’S FINE FOR YOU TO CALL YOURSELF QUEER BUT IT’S LITERAL ABUSE FOR YOU TO USE IT FOR OTHER PEOPLE LIKE AS AN UMBRELLA TERM AND YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!!!”
like. babe. I’ve never met you in my life. You live an entire world away from me and you can’t tell me what language I’m allowed to use for myself and my own community. If you don’t like the word, you have trauma associated with it or whatever, I accept that. I feel for you, I have trauma about some words, too. USE XKIT BLACKLIST. Your trauma is your problem, just like my trauma is my problem. Yes, really. Get counselling. It’s not everyone else’s responsibility to change their identities and language because of your trauma. That’s not a lack of empathy from me, that’s a hard life lesson you need to learn about the world not revolving around you. I am not abusing anyone by using the language I’ve always used about my own community.
It’s not the end of your world, though. You’re not doomed to read ‘queer’ all over tumblr forever. There are many many many tools available for you to protect yourself and avoid triggers. You should be responsible for yourself and your experience online and protect yourself from seeing things that upset you.
“BUT I’M A MINOR!!”, you cry! okay, true. Get up from the computer, go directly to your parent or guardian, and let them know you’re not old enough to police your own internet usage and ask them to do it for you. It is not my responsibility to take care of you. It is no one else on Tumblr’s responsibility to take care of you. The internet is not just for kids. If you can’t take care of yourself, your parents need to help you do that.
The short of it is if you’re old enough to know the word ‘queer’ upsets you, you’re old enough to download xkit blacklist and add ‘queer’ to the blacklist words. If you’re not doing that, I have to assume you’re actually trying to pick fights with queer people and it’s more of a power struggle to you than anything about semantics.
“BUT I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO USE XKIT! IT’S AN EASY CHANGE FOR YOU!” Dude, you’re asking me to change my whole identity. You’re asking me to change my lexicon for you. It’s not an easy or fair change for you to ask me to make. Xkit is a quick and easy solution for you (and now, you can use the tumblr innate tag blocks, too). If that’s too much for you to do, I have a feeling you’re just looking for a fight and not actually traumatised by ‘queer’.
NEVER. NEVER. Come onto a queer person’s post and start telling them anything about how to use their word. Queer folks get policed and oppressed enough by cishet folks. We don’t need people from our own community trying to police our language and language we’ve used for decades and continue to use in many countries and in many parts of the US.
There is absolutely no reason to derail posts being “””””””helpful”””””””” by repeatedly, constantly, aggressively spreading rhetoric that shames people for using language we have used for ourselves and our community for decades. Your problem with the word queer should not be my problem, so don’t make it my problem.
hello i just want to say that i understand the thought process behind “wlw cant fetishize women” and i understand where this comes from but also its still relevant to the conversation to talk about how white wlw sexualize woc. i saw a post claiming that bringing this up is derailing and that “ppl know what we mean” but i really dont think it is!
white wlw need to be aware of how they view woc. they need to be conscious of this sexualization. conscious of how they speak about our bodies. conscious of how they touch us. conscious of their expectations on our sexuality and wants and desires. white women have a long history of violence! yall contribute to our fetishization and abuse!! its relevant to the conversation and it may be uncomfortable to acknowledge but it needs to be said and heard.
a woman viewing another woman sexually is not inherently dehumanizing, but you still need to take into consideration the way race plays into it.
activists at barnard college providing “labels”, photographed by susan rennie and published in off our backs: a women’s newsjournal vol. 3 no. 6, february 1973
Black an white photo of two women, one standing, one seated.
Behind them is a hand-written sign reading,
“YEA – It’s a heavy trip. BUT! This is a chance to CHOOSE YOUR OWN LABEL instead of having someone else do it for you:
knitting in the dark 