“YOU ASPIRE TO BE CAPTAIN AMERICA BUT YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO FUCK HIM.” <=== precious bb queer Phil Coulson in a nutshell, basically.
Like, precious bb queer Phil Coulson’s code for living is What Would Steve Rogers Do?, but his spank-bank is wall-to-wall Bucky Barnes Being A Smirky, Cheeky Little Shit.
which is appropriate because for real the answer to ‘what would steve rogers do’ actually is ‘bucky barnes’.Like, maybe there was some awful cheesy promotional calendar of the Howling Commandos that some well-meaning grandma gave Phil when he’s like 12 years old, and he flipped through it, and February was just Bucky standing there in his dress uniform, with his khaki tie slightly undone and his hat at a rakish angle, giving the viewer the old glad-eye, and well basically that’s the year Phil started locking his door and it was February for months at the Coulson house, because 28 days was not nearly enough time for Phil to spend on that picture.
AND THEN, almost forty years later, ACTUAL BUCKY BARNES shows up on Phil’s doorstep and it’s like, wow, awkward. I mean you’re all messed up mentally and haven’t had a haircut or a hug in literal decades and I feel bad about that, but also I used to masturbate to the idea of you pinning me down and smirking into my neck, so…there is that.
But Phil Coulson is a nice guy who likes projects and hopeless causes, so he takes care of him and cuts his hair and idk, makes him soup and gives him a place to sleep and a couple of Steve-related books to read.
And I’m not saying Bucky, as he starts getting his feet back under him, tries to pay back Phil’s kindness with the sex, leaving Phil to go ‘no, no, we can’t’ to his literally FANTASY BOYFRIEND, because he’s still so messed up and Phil would never take advantage. But I’m not NOT saying that, if you know what I mean.
also like steve/bucky was precious bb queer phil coulson’s OTP, so…he’s not about to get in between them.No, no – but first Clint is all “he’ll never love me, he has a hard-on for Captain America” and then he talks to, like, Maria or Phil’s sister or somebody and they’re like “HaHaHaHA! Nope. Phil has a Type, he always has, and it’s not Steve Rogers, it’s Bucky Barnes.”
And then JUST when Clint thinks maybe he has a chance, THE REAL Bucky Barnes show up, and Clint’s like “JFC, this is just my luck.”
But then Clint walks in on Steve and Bucky and he’s like “oh my god, Phil, I’m so sorry”
And Phil is “*blink blink* What? No, Bucky and Steve belong together, I know that.”
And Clint is like “Oh, but I thought you had a crush on him. For ages.”
Phil: “(embarrassed) I did, but then I met another hot, smart, snarky marksman who captured my heart, so…”
Clint: “Oh. (Is sad). Is it someone I know?”
Phil: “… Well, it’s you.”
Clint: *blinks*. “What? Really?”
Phil: “I know, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was -“
Clint: (interrupting) “Shit up. No. Answer the question – REALLY?”
Phil: (glaring) “Yes, really.”
Clint: “REALLY???”
Phil: “JFC, I’m leaving.”
Clint: (grabs him by his lapels and starts kissing him)
Phil: (totally into it. Then blinks and pulls away) “No, wait, but, you – ?”
Clint: “YES! JFC, get the fuck over here.”
Phil: (blinks) “Yes. Yes, of course”
(Back to snogging)
Tag: phil coulson
WHAT IF ▬ Clint hasn’t been seen since the Avengers because he had other duties to attend…
insp. by the-age-of-the-understatement's submitted mini fic.a) this is adorable
b) before i got to the one about ‘mama’ i totally thought someone had put together a pic/gifset for copperbadge’s hawkey and anklebiter verse.
Awww, I’m sure Clint had many nights during those first six months where he was like PLEASE LET HER MOTHER RANDOMLY SHOW UP AND DECIDE SHE WANTS HER AFTER ALL.
Being fair, if Izzy’s mother had shown up and asked to have Izzy back, Clint would have gone ballistic and fled with Iz.
Marvel Legends: MCU Style Maria HIll, Nick Fury, and Phil Coulson – 2015
Source: MarvelousNews
I NEED THEM NOW!!!!!
Look who came to live on my desk! And look who’s happy to see him…
phlintscones said: Is that the Ken doll Hawkeye? Omg I want one
He’s just a cheapy Hawkeye. He’s fairly stiff (I’ll pause here for all the possible jokes. Come on, you know you wanna!). But he was the right height for Plastic!Phil, and, since Bobblehead!Coulson and Wee!Coulson both had their own Clints, I had to keep him from being lonely. The pics I’ve taken are HILARIOUS. I should post more of them…
paperdollkiss said: perfection, and yes… weirdly intense. But, that is our boys.
You’re not wrong!!!
Post all the inappropriate pics… all of them. Pretty please??
There are more going up THIS VERY SECOND. And there are even MORE inappropriate pics waiting in the wings.
What? I was supposed to be writing, but couldn’t come up with words. So I just started doing indecent things with my desk decor…
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 2×01 Promo Photos (X)
Iron Man Trivia Part 1/Part 2 click on pictures to read captions with more trivia
Wait, so
Sketch commission for lunaris1013! First time drawing Hawkeye and Coulson, so some different likenesses for me to try out!
Phil.
Phil, no.
Could you talk about autistic Clint Barton, please?? :D
- Autistic Clint building nests in high places so no one will mess with them and his carefully arranged textures will stay perfect and he’ll be farther from the noise.
- Autistic Clint fin ding the perfect texture for his bow’s grip and spending hours rubbing it over his skin.
- Autistic Clint’s special interest is archer and he knows everything about the different types of bows and arrows and it’s history.
- Autistic Clint stimming by moving his fingers in complex motions and telling people he doesn’t know well it’s and archer thing when asked about it.
- Autistic Clint holds back his infodumps to seem professional and not attract attention. At least once a week Coulson asks him if he learned anything new about archery so he can infodump freely.
- Autistic Clint making little noises to himself as he works without knowing Natasha can hear him. She doesn’t tell him partly to not embarrass him partly because she thinks it’s adorable.
- Autistic Clint hides in one of his nests when he has a meltdown because he feels safe there. Fury doesn’t know why Coulson is so adamant that he not have Clint’s nests removed or even touched, but complying.
- Autistic Clint getting really excited when Captain America does a press conference and, when asked about the anti-vaxxers, calls them out on their bullshit.
- Autistic Clint, man, autistic Clint.
okay, yeah
This makes me smile.
I want to ask Autistic Clint to explain some archery stuff to me. Maybe the history of the repeating crossbow?
Autistic Clint and the intersection between his autism and his Deafness
Autistic Clint stimming with his hands and it’s actually closer to verbal stimming than physical stimming because he’s riffing off sign words he really likes
Autistic Clint humming as a stim because he likes the vibration, not because he can really hear it
Autistic Deaf Clint!
knitting in the dark 
