dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier

dad: oh god it’s starting shut up i’ve been waiting for this for months
(movie starts)
dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
dad: i don’t know what’s happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
dad: i’m hip. i’m cool
me: don’t you do it
dad: i’m gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
(five minutes later)
dad: is that the Falcon? that’s totally the Falcon
me: how do you know?
dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i’m an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
me: birds?
dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn’t the most useful thing ever

dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody’s ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi

dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
me: idk dad it’s nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants

dad: i’m sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
me: what
dad:

dad: nick fury isn’t dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
me: ew dad gross no

dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
me: we all do dad

dad: oh that’s that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
me: dad good god
dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
dad: not that guyliner isn’t a good look for this guy
dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it’s ‘he’s so dreamy’ and ‘wow what a badass’
dad: but when i do it it’s ‘you’re too old’ and ‘bald guys can’t pull off make-up’
me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go

dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger’s best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
me: mmm-hm
dad: called it

dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street…

dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing

dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, ‘All I do is Win’ blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone’s ass

dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don’t know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i’m a schoolboy again
me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom

dad: where’s hawkeye? where’s bruce? where’s tony? where’s thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
dad: maybe they’re all lazy assholes

petite-madame:

i-am-the-dean-to-your-sam:

ladyknightradiant:

buckyparnes:

This isn’t the age of spies. This is not even the age of heroes. This is the age of miracles; and there’s nothing more horrifying than a miracle.

THESE ARE PAINTINGS. I THOUGHT THEY WERE UBER HIGH RES STILLS BUT. I THINK THEY’RE PAINTINGS?

WAIT WHAT

NO people, they aren’t paintings. They are EDITS. The artist isn’t even trying to cheat or to fool anybody! If you have a look at their blog, it’s in the “edits” category with other…edits (and not paintings or drawings!)

These are screenshots/promo shots that have been edited thanks to a software called Topaz (this one is Topaz Clean if I’m correct). It’s a kind of Photoshop “add on”. It’s used a lot in photography for all kind of renderings. A precise tool of Topaz Clean turns any image into a kind of “digital oil painting”, as you can see above (it’s particularly visible on the Nick Fury one)

Once again, I’m not calling out the artist or anything but Tumblr has turned an edit post tagged “myedits” into a “OMG THESE ARE PAINTINGS!!” post. :/

jabberwockypie:

starkwest:

Tony Stark ‘not recommended’

Everyone watching on t.v. everyone in the street and every person on the helicarrier bridge watched Tony fly that nuke through the portal and every single last one of them cheered when he disappeared from view….except Nick Fury.

For someone who wasn’t recommended, Fury calls on Tony a lot. Nick had told Tony about the Avengers Initiative years earlier. It was Tony they sent in to talk to Ross. It’s Tony whom Fury immediately calls for when the carriers engines go down and it’s Tony that Fury calls for when the nuke is fired. And each and every time, Tony responds instantly.

Nick would have been in his early twenties when Tony was born. Shield would definitely have had Howard Stark’s only child under surveillance, especially when Tony presented with a genius intellect and Nick when he joined Shield, would have had access to those files.. It is no coincidence that Shield just up and had a form of an antidote when Tony had palladium poisoning.  This was Shield protecting a future asset. So Fury would have watched as Tony grew up. Watched as he lost his parents, as he forged his own path in the business world, been fully briefed on Tony’s kidnapping. There may be exasperation with Tony but there is respect and a certain fondness too. Fury is smirking with a definite ‘oh my god, this boy’ in the donut shop and he steps up and in between Cap and Tony when Cap gets in Tony’s space and tells him to ‘put on the suit’. He knows how Tony will react to a challenge. Fury’s been watching video of Tony since his birth. He knows this man. 

When he tells Tony that the nuke has been fired Fury knows, he knows exactly what Tony will do. He knows that he is sending this man, this man he has watched grow from a child, to his certain death. 

So while Shield, the WSC, the people of Manhattan and the rest of the country are celebrating, Fury is mourning. This isn’t the first time Fury has ‘lost a soldier’ and Tony isn’t a soldier but Fury knows he has just lost a good man who had the heart, courage and potential to be one of his best assets. A leader in his fledgling team.

He knows you don’t recommend someone to become a hero, it’s something they simply inherently are.

**

*SOB*

It also explains why Fury and Natasha look like they’re doing that Disappointed Parents Who Got Called To The Principal’s Office About Their Kid thing in Iron Man 2.

I want fic where young Nick Fury babysat wee!Tony before Tony got sent off to boarding school. (Or maybe I’ve read it and don’t remember?)