alright buckle up motherfuckers, i’m about to school y’all about this wonderful show called Leverage.
let’s start with the premise: they’re a bunch of criminals who come together to work as a team and to “pick up where the law leaves off.” aka: they do illegal shit to legally take out the bad guys, i.e. framing/ruining the reputation of/revealing actual law-breaking by embezzling rich politicians, dirty cops, corporations doing secret shit on the down-low, etc.
each episode is a different bad guy they need to take down for doing something terrible, and each episode they come up with a different scheme to take them out. the team consists of: the hacker, the hitter, the grifter, the thief, and the mastermind behind all their plots. they’re all thieves at one point or another, they all grift, and they all contribute to the plan, but these are their Roles. i’ll go more in-depth on the characters in a sec.
now, i know what you’re thinking already: “wow bruh this show must be edgy af, being about actual criminals doing super illegal shit???” bUT NO. THIS SHOW COULD HAVE BEEN SO DARK BASED ON THE CONCEPT, BUT IT’S LITERALLY THE NICEST, MOST ENJOYABLE SHOW EVER.
it’s also SERIOUSLY unproblematic????? like to unrealistic levels. like Nate’s alcoholism is treated with respect and not just something he “gets over,” but despite his issues, he’s held accountable for when he’s a dick, Parker is pretty clearly neurodivergent and she’s never!! forced to be anything else!!!! anyway i could go on and on.
so let’s meet the gang.
this is Nate Ford:
he’s the mastermind, he’s brilliant and the genius behind each of their convoluted plans. he’s a jerk sometimes, and grouchy, but he’s got good reason, and he NEVER crosses over into “angsty white man justifies his assholery because of his Issues.” he used to work for an insurance company tracking down criminals and thieves before A Thing happened and he became the Dad of a group of them. he makes bad life choices, so i relate. also his son died and he has a rad ex-wife and he struggles with alcoholism. we love him.
this is Sophie Devereaux:
she’s the grifter. she’s a great actress but only when she’s breaking the law it’s a running gag. she’s terrible on an actual stage l m a o. she’s the Mom of the group, and she and Nate are lowkey flirting the entire show. she tells it like it is, but is v compassionate. sassy af. british af. would probably console you about your husband leaving you before stealing your rare artifacts. high-class which shows in the fact that she was primarily an art thief before joining the team. i wouldn’t trust her with my jewelry, but i’d tell her all my secrets, and tbh that’s the best summary of her character that you’ll get.
this is Eliot Spencer:
hooooooooooo boy. where do i begin to describe Eliot Spencer? wel, for starters, he’s the “hitter” of the group aka he beats people up when they can’t sneak their way in or out of a place. or when things go wrong. he’s super fucking badass oh my god??? like i’m pretty sure there’s maybe only one or two times in the ENTIRE. SHOW. that he can’t win a fight?? he also has a Super Secret Dark Past bc he used to be a hitman for hire, which he regrets deeply and is happy to have changed bUT AGAIN!! IT’S NOT A WHITE MALE ANGST THING. he isn’t obsessed with attoning for his actions and his scenes aren’t eaten up with Angst and Melodrama. he also has anger issues, but again, it’s not the same stereotype that you’re used to. he controls it, and he never takes it on on anybody who doesn’t deserve it (aka the bad guys). he gets around with women but he’s not sexist?? he cares about his partners.
also he’s a hardcore chef and will Fite You about food. anyway Eliot is basically the Broody White Man With Dark Past trope turned on it’s head. he’s lovable and sarcastic and could kill a man but would prefer to make you an Omelette Du Fromage or some shit.
this is Alec Hardison, aka My Son:
this is my baby. he’s a nerd and a geek and I Would Die For Him. he’s basically everything that’s good and pure in the world. the epitome of a cinnamon roll. he’s sweet and gentle and wouldn’t hurt a fly–unless that fly is a corrupt ceo personally doing dirty business, in which case that motherfucker is going down with the help of his epic hacking skills. btw did i mention he’s the hacker? yeah. he’s super fucking smart and his sense of humor could rival the sahara desert in dryness. he always makes star trek references and he has a gr8 fashion style and he irritates Eliot to no end, lmao. #platoniclifepartners, tbh. did i mention he’s the sweetest person ever? no? he is.
this is Parker:
she’s the thief, and predictably, she loves money and expensive things. tbh she’d probably stab you faster than anybody else on the team would (and has) but also she is smol and needs to be protected. she’s a killer rabbit. she’s an oddball and in the beginning, most of the others don’t know what to make of her, but they grow used to her. she’s nd af, probably autistic, and Does Not Understand Socialization. same, Parker, same. guess what? she’s never forced into acting like somebody she’s not!! when she has to be the grifter for the con job and interact with people, she’s patiently coached by Sophie, who never belittles or mocks her, and explains it in ways she can understand. she’s weird and i love her.
did i mention how unproblematic this show is? i did? well too fucking bad because i’m gonna say it again: this show is so unproblematic. like what i already said with Nate’s addiction and Parker’s neurodivergence, but wAIT! THERE’S MORE.
Eliot hates guns–detests them–and won’t use them, he’s like constantly grabbing the mooks’ guns and unloading them and tossing them somewhere and it’s basically a huge trigger for him. and it’s always respected. also there’s scenes where like in the middle of a job Parker has to change into a costume and neither of men who are attracted to her–Eliot and Hardison–sneak a peak at her. they both look away during that shit and there is like, never any gross sexist jokes about it. or other things. i love it. also any romantic relationship that develops takes season of growth and shit. there’s nothing particularly Gay, but while heterosexual, it’s not Het.
the recurring antagonist is played by Mark Sheppard, a character called Sterling, who is basically a lawful good Crowley.
also one time they stole an entire country.
Leverage is fucking rad, and the concept is amazing and it coulda been so edgy and shit, but it’s literally so pure and sweet and friggin hilarious and about a bunch of people becoming a family and you need to watch it, my friend. now.
like immediately go google a page to watch it i’m not fucking kidding do it.
Jumping in to add that the writers of the show totally confirmed that Parker/Hardison/Eliot are a legit functioning poly triad after the show ended so you’re not reading into things. It’s canon.
I didn’t know my favorite OT3 was made canon OMG THIS JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!!
I fucking binged this show at the start of the year and now I want to go do it all over again, this show is the BEST.
So some friends of mine used to work downtown PDX, and they could NEVER get to their favourite food cart, because it was ALSO the favourite foodcart of the Leverage cast&crew.
As someone who’s still salty about whole “Hardison doesn’t tip” thing, I agree very much with this. I don’t think anything in the universe is 100% unproblematic, but Leverage is still a really great show for all of the above reasons. ^_^
[each image is a gif of the character described after it]
It ran for five seasons, and never felt like it had stayed past its welcome.
It’s dark in places and touches on a lot of serious themes, but overall brings you feelings of humor and triumph, and I wish there were more shows that had that balance.
I just realized the climax of the Lion King is kind of hilarious.
Because it came down to a showdown fight between Scar and Simba. And here’s something great about them: they are the weakest little shits.
Scar was this skinny twig of a lion who probably only got the 11th+ portion of any kill because nobody liked him, and the only way he could one-up anyone was through trickery, and/or by softening them up with a wildebeest herd.
Simba grew up without ever having to chase his prey or work particularly hard because he lived on a diet of insects and nothing else. Nala could kick his ass because she was a goddamn proper hunter.
So the final battle was the equivalent to a pasty-faced metrosexual teen slap-fighting a starving 60-year old
Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
…aaaaaand curtain.
you can laugh but that is literally what happened
This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I was thinking today about Leverage–as one does–and about the various grifting styles we see the team employ, and how most of them have a very particular grift strategy that they rarely stray from when they have to be the main one in the spotlight. And what I think is really interesting is how their strategies are often exact opposites.
Eliot’s syle of grifting is to flatten himself, to make himself seem simple. He plays nerds, ‘manipulate-able’ fighters, awkward librarians and accountants and basically people it’s easy to dismiss or to pigeonhole as one thing (whereas in reality he’s anything but that). In direct contrast, Sophie’s entire grift style plays up her mysteriousness. She draws people in because they want to know more about her, because she’s intriguing and fascinating and there’s the suggestion that if only the mark were worthy of her time and attention, she knows things they could only dream of.
Nate’s style is to be incredibly obnoxious. Which, let’s all congratulate him on playing to his strengths, first of all. But second of all, it’s a really interesting grift style, because basically it manipulates people by annoying them. While Sophie draws people in and directs their attention and clouds their judgement by making them want her around, Nate directs people’s attention and clouds their judgement by making them want him to leave. They’re both very effective at getting a person to do exactly what they want!
And while Eliot’s grift style almost always involves him pretending to be bad at something (physically harmless alien nerd, unsophisticated boxer who can’t people good, etc), Hardison’s grifts almost always involve him being an expert at something (Iceman, FBI agent, even conspiracy theorist) and using his expertise to gain access, authority, etc.
And then I was thinking about Parker and trying to pin down her style, and I realized that another reason why she was an excellent choice of leader is that she can kind of do them all. Every grift she does has that tinge of ‘weird’ to it, because that’s who she is, but she’s able to switch between strategies in a way that the others never really employ. She can be unassuming and underestimated (Alice, baby reporter), off-putting and upsetting (that pop star with the duck), an expert who comes in and takes over (FBI agent), or intriguing and enticing (that scene with the diamond necklace, you know the one, we all know the one, you whispered “oh no she’s hot” at the screen don’t lie). I wouldn’t say she’s the best grifter, that’s definitely Sophie, but she might be the most versatile one.
Basically Parker is the best, Leverage is the best, we all knew that, thank you for your time.
let’s all congratulate him on playing to his strengths
this is gorgeous
all this is really true but also the way Eliot gets people to underestimate and pigeonhole him is interesting
like he pours all of himself and all of his passion into whatever the role at hand says he is good at
and the reaction is usually like “okay he can’t possibly be all of that and ___” (whatever the mark needs to think he’s useless at)
like if you look at the way he played the part of “chef” in the french connection job
he’s not underplaying anything, that’s all the power of Eliot Spencer right there
he even does the thing with his eyes
but it’s so focused into “chef”ness that the mark dismisses him as anything else
“Which, let’s all congratulate him on playing to his strengths, first of all.”
Hello 911? I’d like to report a murder.
There’s a great…podcast? I think, where J Rogers talks about how Eliot goes for a social power position where he is the lesser power role in the situation…
I love that this is basically the same as the “We have a Hulk” scene in Avengers (and came out before it) but that in terms of the Leverage Crew, the Hulk, who you’d think would be Elliot (rage, not good with talking out his emotions, Mr. Punchy) is actually Hardison (that cheerful grin, the sass, the neverending well of love and joy). Because the truth is, Elliot can’t do that always angry thing. He can’t sustain his anger, he can only sustain his pain. He can’t simmer for ages, he has to get in there and Do Something when he gets mad. He’s Steve, to be honest. But Hardison? Hardison who hacked a foreign bank on prom night to pay back his Nana for all the good she did her foster kids? Hardison who buries himself in games and toys and gummy frogs and orange soda because that’s what people expect of the “geek”? Hardison who grew up poor, and orphaned, and black, and oh so incredibly smart? Hardison who is so constantly afraid, of dust, of small spaces, of high places, who loves a vent-crawling building jumping thief like she’s the sun? Who had to hold Parker’s hand as she panicked about foster kids in Eastern Europe somehow ending up broken like her?
Do you ever think about how when Ron’s wand broke 2nd year, just using spell-o-tape wasn’t enough to fix it. It kept backfiring in ways that were really bad, like making himself eat slugs, or kinda just. being defective in general.
Hagrid’s wand was snapped his 3rd year. But he still uses it, disguised as an umbrella. And it works.
Like we know Ollivander didn’t fix it, since he was surprised to hear Hagrid had the pieces. Not to mention since Hagrid was expelled, it would be extremely illegal to fix it. Hogwarts works as a groundskeeper, and lives in a one room wooden hut that he made himself. He’s not going to have the money to ribe someone to fix it, and then there’s also the fact that because of his heritage, even if he could bribe someone to fix it, they probably wouldn’t. And sure, Dumbledore probably knows that Hagrid fixed his wand, there’s a certain level of deniability there. He wouldn’t have actually gotten involved with the wand mending process. Especially when Hagrid was just accused of killing a student.
So that means Hagrid would have put his wand back together himself.
The 3rd year transfiguration examination was to turn a teapot into a tortoise. Only inanimate objects into animals. Part of the reason animagi are so rare is because they’re human to animal transformations. The first time we meet Hagrid, he gives Dudley a tail, and correctly animates the boat he and Harry are on. Silently.
Harry and co. didn’t even attempt to learn silent casting until 6th year. Anything Hagrid learned after 3rd year would have been self taught.
Hagrid is one powerful wizard and holy shit combined with his resistance to magic with his giant heritage forget McGonagall holy shit Hagrid is terrifying
No wonder sixteen-year-old Voldemort was intimidated enough by thirteen-year-old Hagrid to pick him as the one to frame for murder.
Woulda been nice if the media had explored wordless magic more deeply, since the first spells we ever see use it.
Hagrid defeating Voldemort would have been one hell of a plot twist.
1) That Elliot is pretty clearly playing from the Alec Hardison Book of Trolling People You Hate
2) That he legitimately did this ‘simply humanly impossible’ trick with a gun
3) That he possibly did it specifically because he was thinking about the JFK assassination, not just on the job but possibly out of sheer curiousity / for funsies.
4) That Sterling knows Elliot’s file well enough to quote chapter and verse like that.
5) That Sterling knows Elliot’s history well enough to choose something to put in the coffee that he wouldn’t immediately recognize and stop drinking.
So the thing is in the actual book series JK Rowling never said what House Hagrid was in. We find out that Hagrid actually went to Hogwarts as a student really in the 2nd book–when we see Tom Riddle, the Slytherin prefect confront Hagrid in his own dorm room, and the two seemed pretty familiar with each other.
Hagrid was expelled as a 3rd year. He was born in 1928, and Riddle was born 1926. So Riddle was a 5th year prefect,
Hagrid doesn’t seem like he was particularly good at any branch of magic other than Care of Magical Creatures, so how would the two know each other? Hagrid is 2 years younger than Tom, so how would they have known each other well enough for Hagrid to call him ‘Tom,’ not Riddle?
Now, the prefects are some of the only people the oblivious Harry Potter recognizes from other Houses, other than Quidditch players. And yet we’ve never heard about prefects from other Houses coming in to discipline Gryffindor students. Hell we’ve never heard about people from other houses in the Gryffindor common room period. You really think that Tom Riddle would know enough about a 3rd year Gryffindor nobody, someone who isn’t even his year?
Not to mentionthis is when the Chamber of Secrets is open, a girl was killed. You think Gryffindor is going to let a powerful Slytherin traipse around their tower, when tensions are running high after being terrified all year? No.
But you know what’s much more plausible? Hagrid was a Slytherin.
Whereas it wouldn’t make any sense to be friends with a young Gryiffindor, young Slytherins are Tom’s responsibility. Tom knowing, and being able to access a 3rd year Slytherin’s dormitory–how he knew Hagrid well enough to know about Arigog, and where he’s kept– makes much more sense. Not to mention they are looking for the heir of Slytherin. Guess what hint hint they’re probably looking at a Slytherin to be accountable for Myrtle’s murder. Not a Gryffindor.
The only reason suspicion fell on Harry was because he could literally talk to snakes, and people who didn’t know enough about what happened in the past made the obvious leap “Slytherin’s monster=Snake; harry can talk to snakes=Harry’s the heir of Slytherin.”
And damn, it makes sense that Hagrid’s a Slytherin. If there’s anyone who’s a true friend to Harry it’s Hagrid, the man who tried to make sure Harry had everything he ever needed (I still get emotional thinking about Hagrid making that scrapbook for Harry. @Dumbledore maybe Harry wouldn’t have been so enraptured by the Mirror of Erised if he actually had a damn photo of his parents).
And it makes perfect sense for Hagrid to be prejudiced against Slytherin. These are the people who threw him away, who got him kicked out of Hogwarts, who would have taken away his home if Dumbledore hadn’t allowed him to stay on as groundskeeper. And yeah don’t get me wrong Hagrid definitely has morals but he’s like the definition of Slytherin loyalty, he’d do anything for the people he cares about. Just think of him hiding Gawp in the Forbidden Forrest. It’s not safe or wise or brave, he keeps that knowledge from even Dumbledore (Dumbledore, who he believes in not because of his ideals or what he stands for but because he is Dumbledore, someone Hagrid is loyal to).
But this is his brother, who is going to get hurt if he stays with the other giants. Think of how Hagrid loves Harry–now, think of Narcissa Malfoy, willing to do anything if it meant the chance her son was alive, even defy Voldemort and go against what her family had been working towards for decades. Hagrid is such a Slytherin parent.
tl;dr sure, JKR might have posted on her twitter or Pottermore that Hagrid was a Gryffindor, but writing is about showing, not telling. And she might have told us that he’s Gryffindor, but she’s showed us he’s Slytherin
Plus when you look at basically everything he does, both as a teacher and in his personal life, Ambition seems to be the guiding trait. Gotta teach kids about care of magical creatures? Go big or go home; I have already ordered a crate of super illegal giant death bugs. Dragon? Dragon motherfucker. Gorgeous half-giantess headmistresss of the most elite and snootiest academy in europe? Mack on immediately.
“Someone’s gotta take care of them, and that someone’s gonna be me.”
knitting in the dark 