WARNING: explicit discussion of suicidal behaviour and all that entailsStill with me? Excellent, I have so much more heartbreak in store for you.
We left off with Steve escaping SHIELD custody after yet another death-defying stunt. From this point on, I actually don’t have much to comment on for a while. Steve continues being stupidly brave but not more so than normal. He has a mission now, and a responsibility to see it through, so he doesn’t take as many reckless risks as he has before. He knows that if he fails, there isn’t anyone else to pick up the slack; if he falls, it’s game over.
For example, when the missile hits Zola’s computer brain, Steve acts much less recklessly. He finds a possible hiding place, pulls Natasha with him and shields them both. I honestly suspect that if Steve hadn’t felt like he had a purpose, he would be more concerned with Natasha being safe than himself, instead of the 50/50 kind of thing we get in the movie.
But let’s flashforward to another turning point: the reveal that the Winter Soldier is actually Bucky Barnes.
Oh man, I love that moment. It is perfectly shot and I have gushed about it before, especially about how the movie lets Steve be frozen with shock. Steve, who has fought tooth and nails to evade HYDRA capture, isn’t even present enough to get on his knees when ordered to by Rumlow. That is how shaken he is.
It was him. He looked right at me… He didn’t even know me.
And that is the moment Steve comes to his decision: the first priority is taking down SHIELD and HYDRA, because there is a quickly-approaching deadline on that. But the second that is taken care of, it’s Bucky. Only Bucky. He is going to save Bucky from HYDRA and won’t accept any other outcome. Failure through death is not an option, unless they die together.
But I’m getting ahead of myself again. Maria Hill is a BAMF and rescues the trio and takes them to the safehouse where they regroup and form a plan. And here is the next interesting thing. They are all preparing themselves for the final push, the hail mary, the now-or-never attack, and what does Steve do?
He thinks of Bucky.
He thinks of when Bucky promised him I’m with you til the end of the line, of Bucky offering to carry Steve on his shoulders. He doesn’t think of battle strategies, or of HYDRA, or even of the Winter Soldier. His world has narrowed down to Bucky, because when Steve decides on something, he gets the worst case of tunnel-vision known to man. He knows HYDRA must be stopped but it’s secondary to his quest to save Bucky; it’s only Steve’s sense of duty that keeps him from leaving HYDRA to the rest of the gang.
This marks a massive change. Earlier in the movie Steve recieved an external purpose; a responsibility was placed upon him which he felt he had to uphold out of duty. He is emotionally invested in it, of course, but it’s because of his ideals and beliefs and a little bit of hunger for revenge, as well as betrayal. Now that he knows Bucky is alive and held captive, he gets an internal purpose; no-one has told him that he has to save Bucky, it’s something he tells himself. He is beyond emotionally invested in this purpose, his entire everything is invested in rescuing Bucky. It’s like the difference between an important assignment at work and the novel you write in your free time. In the former case, you do it because you know you should and people depend on you to do it. In the latter, you do it only for yourself and pour your heart and soul into the endeavour.
This is very important to remember as I move onto the scene on the helicarrier. Lots of things happen in-between, of course, but I won’t cover them here. Actually, I will not even go into detail on the fight itself either, because I’ve done that before and I will just once again direct you all to marlowe-tops’ masterpiece on the subject. No, what I want to focus on is what happens after Steve inserts the chip.
The first mission is done. HYDRA has been stopped. With the replacement of that chip, 12 million people have been saved. Steve’s mission is over.
Now there is only Bucky.
Bucky, whom Steve dives down to save, heedless of his own injuries, because Bucky is in danger. He doesn’t have to keep himself alive to complete his mission anymore; he only has to stay alive for Bucky. Which might not be long, considering the helicarrier is nose-diving into the Potomac.
I have no doubt that Steve is certain that Bucky is somewhere inside the Winter Soldier, but he probably thinks he’s rapidly running out of time to reach him before it’s a moot point. So what does he do? He throws the first fight in his life.
Steve: You know me.
Winter Soldier: No, I don’t!
Steve: Bucky. You’ve known me your whole life.
Steve: Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.
Steve: I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.
Winter Soldier: You’re my mission!
Steve: Then finish it. ‘Cause I’m with you til the end of the line.
Look at him. He rolls with the punches. He accepts them and doesn’t make any attempt at defending himself. He tears off his helmet and declares his refusal to fight. He drops his shield into the Potomac because he has no more use for it. Bucky doesn’t need Captain America, he probably never did; he needs Steve.
So it’s going to be Steve.
Even when the Winter Soldier gives Steve the worst beating since his pre-serum days, Steve doesn’t so much as shield himself. He is offering himself to the punishment.
Because that’s what it is. Punishment. Penance, even. It’s fitting, actually, that it’s Bucky himself who punishes Steve for letting him die. I don’t even think Steve is self-loathingly enjoying the pain; he simply sees it as perfectly fair that he gets to feel a fraction of the hell Bucky has been put through.
And if that means he’ll go down in flames with Bucky… Well. He’s with him til the end of the line.
Nothing will convince me that Steve wasn’t ready to die with Bucky in that moment. He didn’t even attempt to get either of them off the helicarrier; he let the Winter Soldier beat him black and blue while just lying down, because hurting Bucky is unthinkable. He only managed it before because at first he had no idea it was Bucky, and later he had to or innocents would die – and even then he pulled his punches. The look on Steve’s face during their previous fight is pure anguish because that is Bucky and he’s hurting him.
We also see an eerie kind of peace in Steve as he falls and later nearly drowns, and I don’t believe we can attribute all of it to Steve being halfway unconscious. Compare Steve’s fall to Bucky’s: Bucky was panicked, reaching out towards Steve and screaming, while Steve quietly falls with a limp body. The situations are different, yes, but usually you freak out at least a little bit when you suddenly find yourself falling.
But not Steve. Probably because he, again, sees it as fair. It has a nice kind of symmetry to it all, and as a movie buff, I’m sure Steve appreciates narrative parallels. (As to why he’s not screaming for Bucky who is still hanging on, my belief is that Steve can’t actually see him at that point and is assuming Bucky is falling as well.)
Then we have the beautifully shot underwater scene where the Winter Soldier saves Steve’s life. The last shot before the screen fades to black, when we see the metal arm reaching out to us, is a POV shot. This is very important to remember. It was Steve who saw the hand, not just us in the audience. This is subtly confirmed when Steve wakes up in the hospital bed, because he turns his head ever so slightly to the left, to the direction the Winter Soldier’s hand came from, the last thing he was aware of. He remembers being saved, and realizes the implications as he takes in the hospital room he lies in.
Which brings me to the end of the movie and, incidentally, my last point.
This scene marks the end of Steve’s personal arc during this movie. He turns down the offer of an external purpose – we’ve been data-mining HYDRA files, looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship – because he instead chooses his internal purpose – there’s something I’ve gotta do first. He no longer needs anyone to give him a purpose, because he’s found one himself.
At the start of this movie Steve was an isolated island, but now he’s found a bridge. It’s small and rickety and dangerous as all hell, but it leads to Bucky, and that makes it worth every risk. He’s also made friends that he feels he can trust, further anchoring him in this new world. It goes slowly, but he’s starting to build a new life here in this century. But most important of all, he feels he has a reason to live again.
Steve has a reason to live again, because it sure as hell isn’t going to be Captain America who rescues Bucky. It’s going to be that little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight.
‘Cause I’m with you til the end of the line.
(gif sources: 1 piney49 & 2 brigantes & 3 kirknspock & 4 yourcannibalneighbour & 5-6 wintersoldir & 7-8 hiddlesy & 9 thenightshalllastforever & 10-13 brigantes & 14-15maria-sokoli* & 16 yourcannibalneighbour)*turns out they’re a plagiarism blog – please tell me if you know the original source!
Tag: meta
(The title is the only facetious thing about this meta. You have been warned.)
WARNING: explicit discussion of suicidal behaviour and all that entailsDisclaimer: I have never been suicidal, so I might not the best person to write this meta; all I can draw from are my own experiences. For two years when I was a child I was steadily getting sicker in a mystery illness until it got to the point where I was expecting to die and stopped caring about it (but was upset that I wasn’t upset) – it was milk allergy, by the way, and I am obviously fine now. Then a few years later I had such a depressive period that while I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to live either. So I am using these and the stories I’ve heard and read about to extrapolate. If anything rings false, however, please message me and tell me so, because the last thing I want is to be hurtful on this subject.
(I’m breaking up this meta in two parts because it’s monster-sized and I don’t know how it got that way.)
I just want to start off with saying that I don’t believe that Steve is actively trying to kill himself during the course of The Winter Soldier, but rather doesn’t care if he survives or not. He is a self-destructive mess; there is an important distinction to be made there.
To go back a little in time, The Avengers pretty clearly established that Steve is suffering from PTSD and survivor’s guilt; even more so if you count the deleted scenes. After the adorably cute introduction scene in TWS we’re tempted to think that Steve has started to heal from the trauma, but I think the opposite is the case. The Steve we see chatting with Sam is just as much a shield as the vibranium one. Steve doesn’t want to be a bother, doesn’t want to burden anyone, so he puts on a brave face and smiles. I’m willing to bet money that he did exactly the same thing when he was younger and ill. Always seeing the positive side of things, no matter the situation.
The fact that Steve is not okay becomes painfully clear when he speaks to Sam after the VA meeting. First we have the fact that Steve completely understands where the vet who dodged for a plastic bag came from, but the thing that makes all the alarm bells go off is this part:
That little smile, combined with those flat eyes, are among the most tragic things I have ever seen. This is Steve confessing that he doesn’t see anything worth living for. But, in true Steve fashion, he says it with a smile.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Long before that scene at the VA meeting, we have the one at the Quinjet. Ho boy. We have Steve complaining about being Fury’s janitor, taking on the most dangerous job, cracking a very dark joke and jumping out of the ‘jet… without a parachute.
Now, the distribution of duty can be explained as Steve being his usual selfless self; he is after all the one most likely to survive taking out an entire deck of hostiles. But the bitterness, even when said with that sweet little smile of his, is worrisome and alarming. Steve has a very dry sense of humour, a not-immediately-obvious one that is amazing, but he isn’t bitter. Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really is not a typical Steve joke.
And then we have the fact that he jumps without a parachute. Don’t tell me he did it for practical reasons. He used a parachute back in ‘43, while the plane was being shot at, and he deliberately refrained from using one this time. That was a high-risk gamble; it payed off in the end, but the risk was Steve breaking an awful lot of bones or even dying on impact. That kind of behaviour is completely reckless.
But let’s talk about the fight with Baltroc. When Baltroc taunts him about I thought you were more than a shield, Steve calmly puts it away and takes off his helmet. At first glance, this is another unnecessary risk Steve takes for no understandable reason. While I agree with that it’s definitely another alarm bell, I also think it goes deeper. There is an excellent meta by verysharpteeth that goes into the differences between Steve’s and the Winter Soldier’s masks, and points out that Steve’s helmet is removable whenever he chooses. And that’s what he does here; he chooses to remove Captain America and become Steve Rogers again. I suspect this is because he feels he is loosing grip of Steve; in this century, no-one knows Steve Rogers. No-one knows that sickly little kid who got beat up in alleyways because he had more honour than sense. No-one knows the artist who dreamt of living off his drawings even during the Depression because it was his passion. No-one knows the young man who was orphaned before turning 20 and watched his mother waste away in TB. No-one knows that behind the serum-enhanced body, it’s exactly the same kid there.
In this century, the only one people know is Captain America.
So I think that while the fight with Baltroc definitely has shades of Steve being passively self-destructive, I also think it’s about Steve clinging to his own identity, to Steve Rogers, the man behind the mask.
This continues in the scene at the Smithsonian. As Steve walks around the exhibit, he only skims past the entries about about himself, sometimes even ignoring them. The ones he linger at are of his friends; the Howling Commandos, Peggy, Bucky. Especially Bucky, who he – in Steve’s own mind – failed.
I want to stop here for a moment. Another fabulous meta by philcoulson brings up how Steve has always been reckless with himself and how it probably is partly due to feeling like he logically should have died years ago and is thus desperate for his life to mean something. Taking this into account, one can hardly start to imagine the survivor’s guilt Steve must be feeling, particularly in regards to Bucky. Because unlike the other Howlers and Peggy, Bucky didn’t get to live a full life; he didn’t get to return home from war, he didn’t get to make a family, he didn’t get to grow old and bounce grandchildren on his knee. Bucky died in the line of duty, under Steve’s command, protecting Steve and Steve has still not forgiven himself for it and probably never will. Bucky was always a survivor; it should have been Steve who died on the train that day. That is what should have happened if the world was logical.
Instead Bucky died, leaving Steve alone and with enough rage and grief to turn from just wanting to fight bullies to actively avenging Bucky’s death. After Bucky’s death Steve goes off the rails in TFA, and he was skirting the line to start with.
Something I won’t linger on, however, is how Steve runs after the Winter Soldier after Fury is shot, for the simple reason that it’s perfectly in-character for him. Stunts like that is what Steve does. He doesn’t like windows but does like jumping off things, this is a well-known fact.
No, the pivotal event in this scene is something else entirely. It’s the purpose Fury gives Steve. TWS is an amazing movie when it comes to thematic contrasts and mirrors, and here is another one I strangely haven’t seen a lot of talk about. Just like the Winter Soldier lives for his missions, so does Steve in this century. When Fury hands Steve that flashdrive, Steve gets a purpose in his life again. He has a world to protect, people to save, he has responsiblity and his actions matter again.
Unanchored by the absence of family and friends and a purpose in life, Steve is just as lost as the Winter Soldier is between missions. They are both men out of time, living in isolation. They are men that are actually islands.
But. This starts to change, however temporarily, when Steve gets this new purpose. He sets out to save the world once again, because it’s what he does. He investigates, he gets in trouble, he regroups. But let’s pause here for a moment.
This scene always makes me bite my lip. On one hand, Steve is amazing and in his element, fighting-wise, and it’s a joy to watch. On the other hand, taking into account his previous behaviour, it’s also worrying. I am referring especially to his leap of faith from the lift.
The logistics of that jump has already been pointed out by ellidfics and scifigrl47 but it still stuns me. I understand that Steve was very much between a rock and a hard place – jump out or face an armed elite squad – but it was still another insane gamble with high stakes. Like I’ve said before, Steve is incredibly reckless with himself in this movie. That is not to say his strategic mind isn’t brilliant or that he is in any way stupid, just that self-preservation seems to be even lower on his priority list than before.
I think I will cut here and direct you to part two of his (way too long) meta, which will feature Steve’s fight against the Winter Soldier, the entire helicarrier scene and a surprisingly positive look at the ending of TWS. No, really, I’m serious.
(gif sources: 1 commandersass & 2 msfili & 3 tochi-tanis & 4 yourcannibalneighbour & 5-6 thenightshalllastforever & 7-8 msfili X & 9-10 tochi-tanis & 11 karyn-filmfanatic & 12-13 thxwintersoldier)
I want to bring some positivity into the world today, because I REALLY want to move away from all this awfulness, so let me talk for a little while about MCU!Pepper Potts.
Pepper Potts is a woman whom I have absolutely nothing in common with. She is tall, graceful, and effortlessly feminine; I am a petite punk girl with a lot of tattoos. She enjoys expensive high heels; I spend a lot of time wearing tactical boots. I’m not her, and I don’t aspire to be her, and in the face of women like Natasha Romanoff and Peggy Carter, who are more obviously admirable for someone like me, it’s easy for her to get overlooked.
But I love Pepper Potts. To me, what stands out about her is the way she negotiates a path between love and necessity. She is a character who consistently offers real kindness to those around her, regardless of their flaws, and also while having to overcome her own impatience: to Tony at his most unbearable, to Maya as Maya betrays her, to “Natalie” after the two of them have been put at odds, to Happy when he’s being ridiculous. You get the sense that what she wants to offer to the world, always, is this kindness.
And I don’t think that kindness ever really abates— but it doesn’t prevent her from doing what needs to be done, even when that’s unpleasant.
Frigga should just take the throne instead of one of her issue-ridden kids, I mean really.
An AU where Frigga rules Asgard and raises her children while Odin runs around, I don’t know, stabbing things or something. Sif and Val can protect the realm on their own, so that frees him up to take some really long naps. No one cares how long your Odinsleep lasts, dude, really.
Where the new incarnation of SHIELD is helmed by Maria Hill, because she’s actually experienced and the next in line after Fury. Sharon Carter is her second, and they both bitch out the Avengers on a regular basis. Coulson can continue shepherding his bus of broken toys around, except with Maria needs May’s support. Victoria Hand is, of course, shacked up somewhere with Sitwell. Not sleeping together, mind out of the gutter. But they were both behind on “Game of Thrones,” and with both of them being fake dead, it seemed like a good chance to get caught up.
Where Pepper Potts smashed through the wall and rushed Maya Hanson to the ER and now Maya heads R&D and Pepper runs the company and Tony just plays with his bots and is perfectly happy inventing completely unmarketable stuff.
Where Natasha is the poised, controlled public face of the Avengers because she can actually handle it without showing up drunk or having a panic attack or telling a reporter to do something anatomically impossible.
Where Betty has turned down job offers from StarkIndustries and SHIELD but takes a post with Empire University, just close enough and just far enough away. She teaches and does the research she wants to do and in her spare time, she founded a group of scientists that serve as public interest watchdogs and whistle blowers. They focus attention on military, government and industry work, demanding transparency and high safety standards. She meets Bruce in the park, once a week, early in the day or late in the afternoon, when there’s fewer people and less chance of something happening. She holds his hand the entire time, and sometimes that’s all they do. Walk and hold hands.
Where Gwen Stacey goes to London and still writes to Peter, emails and real letters, because she will always be his friend and his lodestone, even if they’re not together any more. Because part of being an adult is realizing that you can love someone, and have that not be enough. Sometimes. Loving someone. Means letting them go. And wishing with all your heart for them to be happy and safe. And Peter loves her, and is so happy for her, because he is growing up, and becoming the hero he’s always tried so hard to be. And Gwen sets him up with this girl she knows back in New York, maybe he’ll like Mary Jane, and maybe Mary Jane would like him…
Where Peggy Carter builds up SHIELD with dozens of the female intelligence workers and codebreakers and technicians and secretaries, stolen from the US Military and Betchley Park and Hedy Lamarr is the ultimate spy and the one who explained to Howard Stark just what would happen to his balls if he didn’t learn to keep his hands to himself. It involves liquid nitrogen and he learned to keep his hands to himself.
Where the contributions of the women of this verse don’t begin with being a love interest and end with their death.
Where they create a vibrant, brilliant, balanced world, not in spite of the male characters, but with them. Because it’s a better world with them in it.
this, yup.
Is it a better world with them in it, though? The male Asgardians, Sitwell, Coulson, Banner, and Stark all seem to be pretty useless in this scenario. You could ace all of them and nothing in this world would suffer for it. The only one who retains any kind of relevance is Peter.
In all seriousness. Did you just try to hijack a post about how we need more female representation to say that having the women there renders the men, what, unimportant? That having your favorite charcters only be mentioned or important when it relates to the actions or emotional well being of a character of the opposite gender isn’t what you want to see? That it would be sad that focusing entirely on one group of people rendered the other half of them completely irrelevent?
I didn’t say what Thor, Loki or the Warriors Three were doing. I didn’t say what Bruce was doing. I only mentioned them in relation to how they impact the women’s lives and this is exactly how media treats women. I said that Tony was HAPPY with his ability to do exactly what he wants and avoid the things he’s spent three movies avoiding. Despite this, you’ve jumped to the conclusion that they’re irrelevent just because the above answer doesn’t focus on them. The narrative doesn’t say they’re irrelevent. It just implies they’re uninteresting. Not worthy of our focus. “It’s fine, they can be the romantic interests and the perky sidekicks!”
Welcome to the background radiation of my life. Erasure sucks, doesn’t it? Only difference is, I’m decring the ACTUAL FRIDGING and ERASURE of female characters. You’re displeased with the fantasy of something that comes close to equality.
maybe they’re all in prison
Is it reading waaaay too deeply into this that I find this really moving? I mean, yes, maybe all the people Clint looked up to over the years are in prison, but I like the idea that the reason Clint fights as hard as he does to be as good as he is is because he knows that some day, some kid is going to latch onto him. This kid isn’t going to have super powers, or money, or privilege or enhancements. They’re going to be a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who never got any of the breaks. That kid is going to look at the Avengers, and see Clint, and think to themselves, “Maybe, just maybe…” and dare to aim a little higher, and CLINT knows that, and that’s one of the reasons he never gives up and can never miss, because for all that he doesn’t value himself, he values that kid and knows how important he is to that kid.
What did Dumbledore do that makes him a bad person? It’s been a while since I’ve read the series and I’m curious.
Dumbledore is literally the scum between my toes
- LEAVES A 1YO CHILD ON A DOORSTEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT LIKE ‘OH NVM THEYLL FIND HIM IN THE MORNING LOL’
- knows good and well how the dursleys are abusing and neglecting harry and just LETS THE SITUATION CONTINUE even though we see in the fifth book that he has the power to stop it (the ‘remember my last letter’). he lets harry be LOCKED UP IN A CUPBOARD and abused for ten years both because of the ””protection”’ privet dr has for harry (don’t worry, it’s only at the cost of his emotional and mental wellbeing, it’s all good) and because he WANTS harry to fall in love with the wizarding world, like voldemort did, like snape did, because it will make him easier to manipulate
- GROOMS HARRY TO BECOME A PERSON WHO WILL WILLINGLY DIE FOR ””’THE GREATER GOOD””
- PURPOSEFULLY WITHOLDS INFORMATION FROM HARRY AND KEEPS HIM UNINFORMED SO HE’LL DO WHAT DUMBLEDORE WANTS WHEN DUMBLEDORE WANTS HIM TO DO IT
- tells harry in ootp that he kept the truth from him because HE ACCIDENTALLY ENDED UP CARING ABOUT HARRY. LIKE OH HERE’S THE KID I’VE BEEN PLANNING TO KILL AND HAVE LET LIVE A MISERABLE LOVELESS LIFE IN ORDER TO RIGHT THE WRONG OF THE OTHER BOY I FEEL LIKE I LET DOWN AND I ACCIDENTALLY REALISED HE’S A HUMAN BEING WELL FUCK
- told arabella figg she couldn’t be nice to harry when he went to her house? like what the FUCK?
- after all his lectures and ”’wisdom”’ STILL GOES AFTER THE HALLOWS HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WANTS THE POWER
- literally told harry the only reason he didn’t make him a prefect was because he didn’t want people to think he ””plays favourites”” like he didn’t last minute give gryffindor the house cup like four fuckin years in a row because of harry
- KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND DIDN’T TELL/PREPARE HARRY FOR THE EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION OF LOSING ANOTHER/HIS LAST FATHER FIGURE AND EVEN MADE HARRY WATCH HIM DIE
- locked sirius up AFTER HE HAD SPENT TWELVE YEARS IN PRISON in the house where he was ABUSED AS A CHILD AND MADE TO FEEL OUTCAST AND UNLOVED and pretty much exacerbated sirius’ arrested development and feeling of worthlessness because he’s dumbledore and dumbledore knows best
- LET SNAPE TEACH AT HOGWARTS FOR 15+ YEARS DESPITE KNOWING FULL WELL HOW HE TREATED STUDENTS JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KEEP HIM CLOSE
- HE IS IN A POSITION OF POWER – ARGUABLY THE POSITION OF POWER – AND USES IT TO MANIPULATE AND EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATISE HARRY AND BATTER HIM INTO A WEAPON TO USE AGAINST VOLDEMORT AT THE COST OF HARRY’S FUCKING CHILDHOOD
and this is NEVER ADDRESSED in the books. Dumbledore is never seen as anything but a wise and noble father figure to Harry. HARRY NAMES HIS SON AFTER THIS MAN WHO MANIPULATED HIM AND LITERALLY WALKED HIM INTO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE. FUCK dumbledore.
One of the worst moments of my life was when I realized that Dumbledore was not a great leader on a pedestal but rather a manipulator directing a bunch of mannequins.
When the books came out I was having a lot of trouble with dyslexia and brain fog and couldn’t read so it wasn’t until after a fair few of the movies that I started reading. Well, having them read to me really because I still couldn’t read (omg I am so glad I’m not this bad right now. I have always read lots and lots and not being able to read is awful). So I was always pretty aware of how Dumbledore was. I never saw him as the saint.
I have had feelings about how dark Dumbledore is for a very long time, and it’s one of the reasons I wrote my shortfic Machination back in the day. Dumbledore is in no way a fluffy, kind, benevolent character; he’s a ruthless general playing the long game to win a war, using any people he can to do it.
We Need All Voices in Comics (or, I Started the #FireRickRemender Twitter Tag and I’m Really Only Kind of Sorry About It)
I’d like to clear the air.
The past 96 hours have been some of the most stressful, anxious, and rewarding of my life.
Wednesday evening, following my first read of Rick Remender’s Captain America #22, I posted a series of entries to my blog reiterating my distaste for his work, and my renewed (and long-held) belief that he should no longer be writing it.
In my haste and anger, I asked other people who shared my opinion to tweet Marvel Comics, Rick Remender, and Captain America editor Tom Brevoort with their concerns, using the hashtag #FireRickRemender.
And I’m sorry.
I understand that the hashtag, and the arguments held under its banner, could have been (and were) seen as personal attacks. And for that, I apologize. I was coming from a place of upset, discomfort, disgust, and outrage, and I acted solely from that place.
I am genuinely sorry for any personal affront my actions may have caused.
What I am not sorry for is everything that came afterward.
the subtext in this scene KILLS ME Steve clearly WANTS Sam’s help but doesn’t want to be the one to ask him to do it Sam is joking at first
there’s a twinkle in his eyes as he says that ‘captain america’ needs him when he clearly means YOU you steve rogers need my help
and he’s more serious as he continues that there’s no better reason to get back in that he believes in this fight ‘I BELIEVE IN YOU SO HARD STEVE’
and Steve can’t even handle it he has to look away ‘HE BELIEVES IN ME SO HARD’ I CAN’T EVEN BOYS#ugh#seriously#this is why i love#sam#and also what steve does to me#this is a very important moment#that i think k and i base a lot of our steve/sam interactions on#so yeah#cap#falcon#brotp#ftw
Yep. Sam believes in Steve. Even his “the kind you stop, not the kind you save” speech leaves the final decision in Steve’s hands, and Sam will go along with it, no matter what Steve chooses.
Clint Barton
1. Clint is an unreliable narrator.
I think Clint bullshits himself a lot, and will tell himself one thing, even while acting out another. “What’s it to me?”, or “This is isn’t my problem,” for instance, even while going to huge lengths. I think this is especially true for situations that involve letting his emotional guard down, even to himself.
I think his thoughts have to come through his actions, so a Clint-POV driven narrative is hard, because he’s often telling himself things that are complete and utter crapola.
So, even in other POVs, with Clint it’s actions, not words.
Steve is the pep talk guy. Clint is the foot-in-mouth guy who is, as Fraction says, “Genuinely good. He’s the guy who will help you move your couch in the rain.”
2. Clint is good, and selfless, and brave, but doesn’t know it.
Clint’s the guy who became a good guy, through no supporting circumstance (uncle killed by criminal to put him on the straight and narrow, witnessing death by weapons he’d built, etc), but just because he wanted to be good.
I think Clint acts for others—his motivation is someone needs him, or needs him to do a thing, rather than self interest—and if something needs to be done, Clint will do it, and he won’t think about if or how it’s bad for him, or how he might get hurt.
But he’s still always trying to play catch-up to a bar of heroism that he’s already reached. Also because he’s probably internalized a lot of bad messages he’s heard about himself. I think in a lot of ways Clint is one of the most worthy Avenger, but he probably hears a lot that he’s the least.
3. Hurt is normal.
I don’t think Clint angsts too much. Sometimes, you need that moment of, “Look at these things I have done,” but I think a lot of the time, Clint expects things to come out badly, so he’s not shocked or upset when they do. Like that saying, “pessimists can only be pleasantly surprised,” I think Clint’s the guy who’s (seemingly inappropriately) cheerful when things go kinda wrong, because you guys. I thought it would be so much worse.
This also goes for relationships. I think Clint’s surprised when it doesn’t go bad, when he doesn’t get kicked out of the Avengers for his latest mess-up, when Cap says something to praise him. I think those mean a lot to Clint, because he doesn’t really expect them.
Also, sort of related to 1. I think he’s running constant damage control, engaging in negative self-talk to downplay emotions/attachments in case he loses them, even though he’s already totally attached, which I think results in a kind of unacknowledged loneliness and lone wolf type behaviour.
4. Clint is funny, and weird.
Clint isn’t sad. Sad things happen to Clint. I think he’s a guy who jokes in bad situations, especially if they’re his own. In this way, I think he’s a lot like Tony, but I think the tone and reason behind his humor is different.
I think he’s crankier than Tony’s happy-go-lucky randomness front, but also amusingly awkward. Probably from Clint’s POV, it’s not that amusing. Probably, Clint is like, “God, act normal, Barton. Just act normal. Goddamit,” but externally, I think he’s probably pretty entertaining.
I think he also probably has weird knowledge. Like the kind of thing, where people go, “What?” and all you can say is something like, “HEY. I JUST KNOW STUFF, OK?
You’re oddly socialized, Barton. It’s ok.
5. Clint acts on emotion.
Which is good, because he’s always telling himself bullshit, but bad because it means he’s always acting on un-thought out impulse and is always instantly in over his head, because it’s emotional investment that made him act in the first place.
Also, I think Clint has a lot of emotions and he doesn’t understand most of them. I think that could make him easy to manipulate, if someone knows the strings to pull.
So I’m rewatching Avengers tonight, and—especially in light of Cap 2—I was really struck by the moment on the helicarrier when Steve comes looking for Natasha and sees Clint out of restraints post-brainwashing. Steve is about to head into a war zone, this guy was Loki’s right hand ten minutes ago, and Steve’s reaction is:
a) to look to Natasha for her judgment on whether Clint can be trusted, and
b) when she gives him merely a nod, to immediately accept and trust her assessment and go into war with Clint not only at his back but flying the damn jet.
Just in case we were wondering exactly when Steve started trusting Natasha with his life.
Seriously though, like…
Try to imagine literally any other SHIELD agent convincing Bruce to come in, with just the right balance of truth.
Try to imagine Steve trusting Clint without her go-ahead.
Hell, try to imagine them being able to stop Clint AND clear out the brainwashing in a manner that didn’t kill or long-term incapacitate him.
Try to imagine the chaos of NOBODY ELSE in their much less-cohesive (and less powerful) group being able to go up to prod at the device keeping the portal open, given that they were all doing serious damage control.
Without Natasha, the Avengers don’t exist and the battle of New York is lost.
She is literally the lynchpin of the plot – without her, NONE of it works.
Now who’s fucking eye candy?
And if you think she’s just eye candy, you’re obviously HYDRA.
Yeah, Ward, I’m talking to you.
knitting in the dark 