1) That Elliot is pretty clearly playing from the Alec Hardison Book of Trolling People You Hate
2) That he legitimately did this ‘simply humanly impossible’ trick with a gun
3) That he possibly did it specifically because he was thinking about the JFK assassination, not just on the job but possibly out of sheer curiousity / for funsies.
4) That Sterling knows Elliot’s file well enough to quote chapter and verse like that.
5) That Sterling knows Elliot’s history well enough to choose something to put in the coffee that he wouldn’t immediately recognize and stop drinking.
Yesterday I went to buy some yarn and so you know how annoying it is when fucking people put those stupid bullshit “don’t use this, wool is murder” PETA stickers on the label?
First of all, stop defacing stock in someone’s store. You’re not clever or saving the planet or anything. You’re making it hard for customers to shop and see the info they need on the label (yardage, weight, dye lot)… You’re making employees spend hours peeling the damn things off, and in some cases, you’re causing damage to the label and or yarn itself. That means loss to the company, which affects employees who probably make minimum wage, you shit bags. You want to make change happen? Contact corporate, you fuckhead. That’s where decisions are made.
Second of all, wool is not murder. Are you fucking stupid? (Obviously the answer is yes). It’s a fucking haircut for a sheep. They’ve been domesticated so long that if we don’t sheer them, it’s bad. Yes, some sheep don’t live in ideal conditions. Got a problem with that? Going to a yarn store and putting stickers on things isn’t going to change it or the minds of customers. For fuck’s sake, you absolute cockwomble, go to the yarn companies. Make them use wool providers that use humane conditions for their yarn, like A LOT OF YARN COMPANIES DO.
And third of all.
You. You precious, empty-headed little shitnugget. You complete and total sawdust-for-brains.
You put your fucking stickers all over acrylic yarn.
There’s no fucking wool in there. It’s all synthetic fiber. Basically, it’s plastic.
Your waitresses’s legs get a lot of exercise on the job. When the revolution comes, she’ll outrun you.
Tip well.
necromancer: RISE.
necromancer: RISE. RISE UP.
necromancer: RISE BEFORE ME
necromancer: RISE MY CREATION
bread: *does nothing*
necromancer: fuck i forgot the yeast