i’ve been trying to hold back but. i gotta see what bill and ted fanfic is like. i gotta do it
this literally sounds like a line from the movie what the hell
this fic is actually GOOD i’ve never been more angry in my LIFE
i’m so mad and you should be too
listen i’m trying to stop clogging everyone’s dash with this nonsense but this is honestly the best line i have ever read in a fanfic in my entire LIFE i’m laughing so hard
i don’t know how i expected it to end to be honest
Like, his plane went down *somewhere* and wasn’t found for 70 years. There had to be some Amelia Earhart type people who believed that he landed in Newfoundland and was a cod fisherman that knew their grandpappy.
Ever few years someone would find some scrap metal on a sandbar in the North Atlantic and there would be a flurry of analysis and 14 hours of CNN coverage trying to figure out if THIS is where Cap died.
There are undated, blurry pictures of a tall, jacked blond man in Germany because Cap NEVER LEFT! He became Nikita Kruschev! He was Laika!
A water landing is most likely, and some people have stories about a malnourished man who washed up in Wales in the 40s who quietly raised goats with his giant muscles.
Maybe he was DB Cooper?
And then, in 2012 or whatever, they find his plane and he’s not only IN it, he’s alive?? The conspiracy nuts have a field day. CapAintDead420 on the conspiracy boards has been saying for YEARS that he’s being kept on ice in a secret government bunker in Antarctica and she is VINDICATED.
People are way too weird to just accept that he was dead, even in he MCU, and we all know it.
Other MCU conspiracy theories:
The government was breeding the space whales in a bunker under the Great Lakes
That’s not the real Cap, the cloned him using asgardian technology
Tony Stark did 9/11
Bucky Barnes was the shooter on the grassy knoll
Wakanda only pretends to be poor, they have amazing technology (this was started by Shuri for kicks)
Spider-Man is a Russian agent that’s why he wears RED
The Asgardian Shadow Government is controlling the populace and breeding humans for experiments/meat
SHIELD is actually in charge of the One World Government and wrote the Sokovia Accords because the super heroes refused to assassinate the president in IM3
Steve Rogers: Fellas, let me handle this. We’ll have two hockey pucks and make ‘em cry, a yard bird with the works, three orders of frog sticks with plenty of sea dust, eve with a lid on for me, and Atlantas all around.
knitting in the dark 