a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid
bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both
I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all “You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends” and my sister was like “I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt” Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”
don’t eat any food given to you by extroverts or while visiting the homes of extroverts
do not tell extroverts your real name
if you are able to see and recognize extroverts, do not acknowledge them and pretend they are invisible to you
when trapped by extroverts, turn your sweater backwards
if you are tired of extroverts coming into your home and disrupting your peace and quiet, an iron horseshoe above your door will usually deter them
If you are traveling by moonlight, do not step within a ring of mushrooms, for the extroverts will come and take you away to their land
when speaking of extroverts, refer to them using polite euphemisms, like “The Socially Inclined” or “The Good People of the Parties” unless you want to attract their attention and/or wrath
As one of your resident extroverts, I cannot confirm or deny any of this.
If you are traveling by moonlight, feel free to wander off the path. Follow the twinkling lights. We’d love to meet you.
Tonight at the gym a man who looked like fuckin Thor asked me out and when I told him I was a lesbian he goes “oh. Chill. You know, my sister and I work out a lot together. She’ll be here tomorrow, same time.”
knitting in the dark 