An archaeological dig on the Menemonee Reservation in Wisconsin yielded a clay pot. The pot was dated to 800 years ago and contained seeds. Some of the seeds were planted to see if 800 year old seeds were viable. An ancient squash was the result.
This is the coolest fucking thing, and don’t try and tell me otherwise.
this recipe has beem sitting in my inbox for actual months while ive been frozen in fear, “you GOTTA do it, you gotta eat the goblin sandwiches” says the very greasy gargoyle perched on my shoulder , but the OTHER gargoyle thats connected to my mouth says bad taste, bad taste, bad ? taste bad ? and theyre both SO loud and i dont want to hear them anymore. im casting this off into the ocean. this is someone elses problem now
We must not look at goblin men, We must not buy their fruits: Who knows upon what soil they fed Their hungry, thirsty roots?
For anyone planning any type of school/community/club/activist event or party, the first two nights of Passover this year (2018) are:
Friday night 3/30
Saturday night 3/31
Most Jews won’t be able to attend events on these nights. Passover is one of the most important Jewish holidays, and most Jews will be attending a communal meal with their families or communities on these two nights.
Please avoid scheduling important events then, just as it would be inappropriate to schedule important events on Christmas Eve.
In addition, most Jews avoid products containing wheat, barley, etc during Passover, which begins (as mentioned above) on Friday night 3/30 and ends in the evening of Saturday 4/7. While it is okay (though not ideal) to schedule events during that week, if you are and the main food/drink involves cookies, bread, pasta, flour, cake, beer, etc, please provide an alternate food for Jewish participants.
Please reblog, even if you’re not Jewish yourself! Thank you 💙
Today we’re brunching on some of the most intricate and beautiful fruit pies we’ve ever seen. Seattle-based home baker Lauren Ko arranges long, thin strips of dough, finely sliced fruits, and nuts into complex lattices and other elaborate designs.
“I’m driven by color and pattern, so I’m constantly brainstorming color combinations and geometric patterns that I think I can replicate with pie dough [and] fruit,” she explains. “What I create during a particular baking session is also often informed by produce that is in season and what’s currently in my fridge. My final products are generally happy accidents.”
Follow Lauren Ko on Instagram to check out many more of her mouthwatering works of pie art.
french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.
Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl
ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.
internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
paul hollywood on bakeoff: now, i can see you’ve had a little trouble with your genoise sponge, haven’t you? the egg whites haven’t been whipped for quite long enough, and it’s lost some of that delicate, airy consistency, which means that your 10,000 spun sugar decorations haven’t got the solid foundation that they really need to support the handcrafted marzipan statue of the virgin mary that you’ve painted with edible gold leaf
me, shoving handfuls of reheated takeout pizza into my gaping maw: a rookie mistake
knitting in the dark 