copperbadge:

spoopy-miakitty:

solembum22:

copperbadge:

jackironsides:

svenyves:

lasrina:

bucky-plums-barnes:

Sebastian Stan on the set of Avengers: Infinity War (x)

You cannot convince me that Eliot Spencer isn’t Bucky’s grandson.

😳

HEADCANNON ACCEPTED.

Look, I’m not saying that this is 100% the sort of fic that @copperbadge would write except that is exactly what I’m saying

HAPPY SATURDAY

Parker and Hardison knew Elliot had finally settled when he disappeared for a couple of days and returned with a carefully packed crate of herb plants in decorative pots and a small fireproof safe full of photographs. 

Well, technically they knew he’d really settled when he unpacked the photographs and hung them up in the kitchen. (By this time Parker had already accidentally killed the paprika plant.) 

“Who’s that?” she asked, sitting on the counter, watching Elliot carefully hang a photograph of a beautiful, dangerous-looking woman next to the refrigerator (far from the heat and splatters of the stove). 

“Granny Peggy,” Elliot said, and gave no extra information, as if the name itself was sufficient. 

“Your grandma?” Parker asked. 

“Sorta how Hardison’s Nana is,” Elliot said. 

“I hear my name?” Hardison yelled from the other room.

“Come look, Elliot’s Sharing Things,” Parker called. Hardison’s head popped into the kitchen. 

“Like snacks?”

“Look, that’s his Granny Peggy,” Parker pointed. 

Hardison stared at Elliot. “You are Peggy Carter’s grandson?” he asked. 

“No! We just called her that. Also how the hell do you know who Peggy Carter is?” Elliot said, at the same time Parker squeaked, “I thought Peggy Carter was a myth!” 

(There is a readmore below. Read more!)

Keep reading

@spoopy-miakitty !!!!!!!!!!

I NEED A WHOLE MULTICHAPTER FIC OF THEIR EMAIL CORRESPONDENCES

Elliot: Are you aware that when you email me, the profile picture that pops up is Kermit the Frog in a cowl? 

Bucky: Who’s Kermit the Frog?

Elliot: How do I even explain this.

Shuri: HOLD MY COCA COLA

Then Shuri and Hardison make a Prezi of all the pop culture Bucky missed. Elliot makes Parker attend as well. There is a multiple-choice exam and also an essay portion. Parker wrote hers on “Why do we even have the hula hoop if we’re not allowed to use it to rob museums” and Bucky did his on “Video killed the radio star but podcasts will have their revenge.” 

reioka:

tonystarktogo:

reioka:

tonystarktogo:

Am I alone thinking Tony would totally be the kind of robo-parent who creates Twitter or Instagram accounts for his bots?

I’m just imagining Dum-E the great shit poster that gets tons of followers:

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
Oil? In smoothie? Yes.

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Oil in smoothie was wrong.

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Fire extinguisher! Fire extinguisher!

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Fire extinguisher was wrong. 😦

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
Fire extinguisher was actually right!!!!! :)))))

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
DON’T HAVE A BIG ENOUGH FIRE EXTINGUISHER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

JARVIS (@intelligentsystem)
@dumdedumdum Fire contained. Thank you, Dum-E

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
JARVIS how I tag

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
@intelligentsystem nm :))))

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
Metal arm guy!!!! Like me!!!! I am also metal arm guy. :)))))

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

METAL ARM GUY NOT LIKE ME IS NOT NICE >:C

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Metal arm guy has come to understanding NOT TO BE MEAN TO ME!!!!!

Dume (@dumdedumdum) 
METAL ARM GUY LIAR! FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!!

JARVIS (@intelligentsystem)
@dumdedumdum Please stop chasing the sergeant around, he was just trying to be nice.

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
@intelligentsytem No??? I’M DENTED.

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Metal arm guy wearing Cone of Shame. All is well.

Ahahahahahahaha tbh I picture this happening literally every day for the first few weeks before DUM-E gets used to Metal arm guy

But also consider DUM-E’s live tweets outing various well-kept secrets among the Avengers (that even the occasional team member wasn’t aware of) without DUM-E even realising it

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
Vibranium is worst metal because I AM NOT MADE OF ANY

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Tony’s sad. :(((( I will bring coffee!!!!

Dume (@dumdedumdum) 
It didn’t work. :(((

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

I’ll do something stupid to make him angry instead!!! :)))) Get wheel stuck on table!

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Oh no am actual stuck @intelligentsystem HELP

JARVIS (@intelligentsystem)
@dumdedumdum Dum-E…. why….

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Tony fixed. :)))) I made A-okay sign with claw and he smiled!!!

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

I am not A-okay I am still stuck.

Dume (@dumdedumdum) 
CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!! HE WILL HELP!!!!

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Oh nm he’s just kissing Tony. 😒

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Metal Arm Seargent!!!! HE WILL HELP!!!!

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Oh nm he’s also kissing Tony. 😒

Nat-Nat (@therealblackwidow)
@dumdedumdum Honey I think that might have been a secret! 😳

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
@therealblackwidow Idc??? I’m stuck on this table.

Nat-Nat (@therealblackwidow)
@dumdedumdum Hang on omw

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
@therealblackwidow saved me!!!! Tony is upset tho idk why

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Oh it WAS a secret!!!! My bad.

Dume (@dumdedumdum)

Farewell @intelligentsystem I will miss you

JARVIS (@intelligentsystem)
@dumdedumdum Where are you going?

Dume (@dumdedumdum)
@intelligentsystem I am fleeing for my life IT WAS A BIG SECRET CRAP

THIS IS DELIGHTFUL. @copperbadge

So here’s a thought:

perspi-looks:

captainwondyful:

perspi-looks:

Steve Rogers gets himself an Instagram and follows Dwayne Johnson, as one does. 

The Rock posts one of his giant breakfast pictures, as he is wont to do.

Steve, lil shit that he is, responds with HIS enormous breakfast, insinuating that perhaps Dwayne Johnson’s breakfast isn’t actually all that much food and if he ate THAT he’d be hungry in, like, an hour.

It goes on like that, for WEEKS, good-natured teasing about how much food they eat spilling over into Twitter and callouts during interviews.

Until they agree to have breakfast together, and the last post about it is just a picture of the two of them, lying flat on the Rock’s living room floor with his dog sniffing at Steve’s head, both of them with big hands splayed over their bellies like they can’t possibly fit any more.

Neither will say who actually can eat more – every time they’re asked, they start in on how awesome the other is and how much respect they have for each other and how glad they are that they got to become friends.

This is everything I have ever wanted.

The first video on the Rock’s instagram gets posted at 4:15 AM – this is not uncommon, nor is the fact that he’s walking around his brightly-lit Iron Paradise. It’s more the bouncing that’s unusual.

“You know what the BEST THING about being buddies with CAPTAIN AMERICA is? Yesterday I got to meet the motherfucking Falcon. That’s right, SAM WILSON was here, was right here! I asked him what it was like to fly, and he grinned at me and then we did like, an hour and a half of planks and v-sits and he had me hanging from the TRX to hold planks and I swear I was shaking halfway through and he just laughed and said, ‘now imagine you have a couple rockets strapped to your ass, now you flyin.’ and I’m tellin’ you, THAT MAN is a fucking ROCK, it was amazing.”

The camera swings around to the barbell setups before coming back to Dwayne’s face. “He also told me that Steve Rogers knows almost nothing about weightlifting and Steve agreed he’s got no idea where his PR might be, so today is gonna be LEG DAY. My entire torso is fuckin’ killing me, but this is gonna be AWESOME. Stay tuned, y’all.”

The second video of the day comes in the afternoon; Dwayne looks exhausted but Steve Rogers looks plenty fresh and also a combination of sheepish and smug.

Dwayne opens with a deadpan, “Leg day.”

“I learned so much!” Steve is enthusiastic, almost bouncy. “This guy is a great teacher.”

“He also,” and the video pans around to the barbell setups seen earlier in the day, “broke my motherfucking gym.”

The thick barbell in the middle of the floor is wickedly bent, standing on its own in an inverted V. All of the big metal plates are scattered around the floor instead of on the racks, and several dumbbells are also twisted into odd shapes. One of the biggest weight plates is buried high in the far wall, only about half of it sticking out, like a giant ninja had thrown a shuriken.

“Don’t worry, Dwayne, we’ll figure out my deadlift PR eventually,” Steve’s voice comes from behind the camera.

“Man, fuck you,” Dwayne can be heard before the video cuts out.

The weight plate stays up in the brick wall; Dwayne doesn’t actually tell anyone that he’d asked if Steve could do that so he’d have a souvenir.

gilajames:

captaintinymite:

wickedwitchofthewifi:

silvermoonphantom:

rocky-horror-shit-show:

geniusorinsanity:

bigmammallama5:

voidbat:

eatbreathewrite:

writing-prompt-s:

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from
exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more
exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time
it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed
in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed,
creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with
all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are
tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the
utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled
walls.

It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever
known has lived in such an, ah, dated,
home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if
they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all.
Not if they want to survive the encounter.

It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen,
going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge
cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip
beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys
and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash
of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top,
as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger.
It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into
this strange place.

As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of
the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish
towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her
neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.

Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess
being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and
a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but
there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets
her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless)
grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.

“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year!
You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear!
Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a
heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite
figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem
to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I
don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t
mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or
maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a
few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a
bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”

She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear,
because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded
in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only
because it had been caught off guard.

The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and
shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear
and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record
books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues,
while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or
how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have
gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic
that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans
would say.

That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into
the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why
it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully,
so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine
with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman
returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.

“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you
since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love
wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the
corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d
never visit. Your father and I have
had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some
cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a
generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It
smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated
with icing.

It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t
seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that
smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.

Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.

The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two
small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the
rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some
difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank
you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners
regardless.

“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so
deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity
for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright,
dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”

The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood
without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s
ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love
that must have gone into its creation.

“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You
never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I
just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime.
I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her
rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t
believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind
that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as
well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only
finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”

When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning
circle is bundled in her arms.  

“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the
library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the
winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket
over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders
and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”

Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s
clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.

this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.

i had to

I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE

Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.

Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins

I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils.
 
Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch. 

Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart

In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that.

With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather. 

Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here. 

Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.”

The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.

They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground.

He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case.

Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson.

The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives. 

P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.

actuallyclintbarton:

seananmcguire:

optimysticals:

seananmcguire:

sisforsammi:

Drift Compatible 

A lot of people–a gratifying number of people, really; it was like reaching the actual apocalypse cleared a lot of puritan bullshit out of everybody’s heads, so that their response to “we’re married” became “congrats,” and not a frantic game of “which one is your husband, which one is just a friend,” or worse, “oh, you’re gay, how nice, is she going to be your surrogate”–a lot of people assumed, when they walked into a hanger, that they were like those Chinese triplets.  Three pilots.  Triple the strain but triple the connectivity, the control.

(”How amazing,” those people murmured, in their own dialects, in their own ways.  “They’re not related, you know.  They can run a drift that close on love.”)

Except that they couldn’t.

When No Encores woke, she woke with Eliot on her left and Parker on her right, and Hardison back in the control room, monitoring their vitals, dying a little bit inside from the fear, coming back to life from the pride.  He never stepped into the cockpit, never saw what they saw, never had to hold up the weight of the world as they knew it.  That was for the best.  He kept them safe in so damn many ways, in all the ways that counted, and their Jaeger danced like a thief and hit like a trained professional, and they came home.  They came home every time.

Sometimes those same people, the ones who had assumed, would see Hardison on base when No Encores was running the waters.  They would treat him so gingerly then, assuming he was hurt, neglected, left behind.  And he would only smile, and maybe touch the inside of his left arm (”one show only” tattooed there, black on brown, small and meant for him and his and no one else), and say, “Nah.  You think I want to punch a kaiju?  Those things are full of germs.”

The drift wasn’t love.  It was similarity in the broken places. Hardison didn’t envy them that.

Someone has to be the harbor.

Someone has to lead them home.

Thanks @seananmcguire, I wasn’t using my feelings today.

I am a surgical strike of pain.  I AM THE GODDESS OF LOVE.

look seanan i love you but sometimes i kind of want to murder you just a little.