I uh, might print these out and make em into dry erase board check lists
is this some kind of funny man practical joke time sketch what the fuck who does NINE THINGS A DAY. who’s cleaning their microwave every week WHO DO YOU THINK I AM push 90% of these things into the “Every year” bracket lmao
Me, reading these lists and lying on my bed covered in five different layers of clothes: unfortunate
sanitize the sink every day what the fuck bish
who the fuck does laundry EVERY DAY?
can someone explain to me the purpose of making your bed?
I’ve been Officially An Adult for two decades now and I have never understood the point of making one’s bed when one isn’t putting on fresh sheets. I mean, unless you require your sheets to be tucked under on the bottom and sides to feel comfortable when you get into bed, in which case by all means do that? But I actually find that super uncomfortable, and if I’m getting into a Neatly Made Bed, I have to pull out the sheets before I can sleep.
Except for “clean dirty dishes” (to which I would add “as needed”), there is nothing on the Every Day list that my husband and I actually do every day. Some of the stuff in the Every Week list we do on those weeks we can; some of them we only do every month. Most of the stuff on the Every 3-6 Months list we only do once a year (and some of it applies to stuff we don’t own).
tl;dr this list is not authoritative and you are not Adulting Wrong if you don’t follow it.
Especially considering people with disabilities and/or mental illnesses LITERALLY may be unable to do that whole list if they want to also, say, eat that day. Never mind work and having time for fun shit so you don’t burn out. And bathing.
This can be a good STARTING POINT to make your own list that fits your own needs and abilities, but if you ain’t doing it exactly the same that is okay and you’re not failing.
As someone with disabilities and mental illness, I find this useful despite the inherent ableism. (If I got a dollar for every ‘helpful’ thing that infantalises me for being unable to do all the things, I’d be able to buy so many Tangles.)
I am in no way, shape or form able to do all of these things with the frequency and regularity the OP suggests, but just having a list of things like this is INCREDIBLY HELPFUL for me.
Both my disabilities and my mental health interfere in a huge way with my executive function. That is, my ability and energy to plan, sequence, carry out and complete tasks. I find it incredibly difficult to know what I’m meant to be doing to keep my environment clean in the first place. Sometimes I can be staring a big pile of stuff in the face and still have no idea what to do. (Strangely enough, if I’m in someone else’s space and they need something done, I often have no trouble at all.) Writing a list like this? Completely beyond me.
So this list is something I can look at when I feel like I should be doing something in my home less obvious than dishes. I can look at and go, “oh, shit, yeah, haven’t mopped the bathroom floor in months” and then I know what I need to do if I want to do that task. And if I don’t, if it can go a little longer, or if something else on the list is more urgent, I don’t have to.
Instead of telling yourself, “I should get up,” or “I should do this,”
Ask yourself, “When will I get up?” or “When will I be ready to do this?”
Instead of trying to order yourself to feel the signal to do something, which your brain is manifestly bad at, listen to yourself with compassionate curiosity and be ready to receive the signal to move when it comes.
Things I did not actually realize was an option
What’s amazing is what happens when you do this with children. I hit on it when working at the foster home, where nearly all our kids were on the autism spectrum, and they weren’t “defiant” around me because I said things like, “How long do you need to stand here before we can move?” and “Come into the kitchen when you’re ready” instead of saying, “Stop staring out the window, let’s go,” or “Come eat dinner,” and interpreting hesitation as refusal to obey.
I have also definitely found that doing the “okay when I finish counting down from twenty is getting up time” has been useful.
Yup, that’s way better for toddlers and younger kids. It helps when they don’t have the self-awareness, attention span, or concept of the passage of time to estimate when they’ll be ready by themselves.
Oh I meant for me. XD Saying it to myself.
WELL OKAY WHOOPS XD I should not have been overspecific, I was just thinking about teaching this stuff to the parents at my job and your reblog made me immediately think of you with Banana and the kidlets.
Another hack: when you want to get up but are stalled by your brain and frustrated – stop. Breathe. Think about what you want to do once you’re up, without thinking about getting up. Treat it like a fantasy, no pressure, just thinking about something you’d like to do in the future. Instead of thinking “I should get up” over and over, think about having a bagel for breakfast, or getting dressed in your soft green sweater. Imagine yourself doing the thing.
I find that exercise often side-steps the block and the next thing I know I’m out of bed and on my way to doing the other thing I thought about.
Works for other things too, if you’re stuck on one step and having a hard time doing it, think about the step after that. Need to do laundry and you can’t get yourself to gather up your dirty clothes in the hamper? Think instead about carrying the hamper full of dirty clothes to the laundry room. And when you get to that next step, if you get stuck again, think about the step after it – you have a hamper of dirty clothes that needs to be put in the wash, let your subconscious handle the “carry hamper to laundry room” step while you’re thinking about the “putting them in the wash” part.
YMMV of course, and this doesn’t even always work for me (particularly not when I need to do a collection of tasks in no particular order, like packing for a trip… “pack socks, pack underwear, pack toothbrush, pack pants, pack shirts” is the kind of non-linear task list where this trick doesn’t help at all), but it’s something I’ve found helpful often enough.
This is one of the most beautiful threads I’ve seen on Tumblr simply because it deals so compassionately with an issue so many of us have and can barely even articulate to ourselves, let alone to anyone else. ❤
we are: a household of three non-binary autistic folks, two of whom have bpd, one of whom is schizophrenic, all of whom struggle with anxiety/depression stuff with all the trimmings. we know brain weird, and we know how hard winter (and especially the holiday season) can be for people like us—cold dim days, noisy crowds everywhere, flashing lights, extra-busy retail jobs, dealing with relatives who don’t get it. we’ve been there, and we want to help ease the passage into the new year with nice things. that’s why we’re making self-care surprise kits to start 2015 off on a good note!
if you are: neurodivergent and/or mentally ill, especially if you’re those things and also trans and/or non-binary, reblog this post to enter our giveaway! (if you simply want to boost this post for your followers to see, please tag accordingly so we know.) be aware that if you win, you will need to give us a mailing address, so if it’s not okay to send a parcel to where you live/get your mail, we’d be happy to send it to a friend who can receive it for you!
self-care kits will include some or even all of the following:
a LUSH gift card
a bath & body works gift card
a handmade beaded bracelet with an uplifting message
a soft little plush friend you can keep in your pocket
an expertly-crafted chain maille stim/fidget toy
unscented candles (we know sometimes scents can be overwhelming)
happy drawings that you can look at when you feel down
LUSH products such as lotion, bath bombs, soaps, etc
stickers
cute bandaids
a link to a little song written especially for the winners
other surprises!
giveaway ends january 1, 2015, when we will select four winners at random out of those who have reblogged this post.
even when you feel alone, there are people out there who understand what you’re going through. your experiences are valid, your needs are important, you are believed, and you matter. ♥
(obligatory disclaimer: we are not associated with or endorsed by tumblr or any company in any official capacity, this is just giving presents to people we haven’t yet met. if you are under the legal age of majority where you live, please consult a guardian before giving out your personal information.)
THIS IS THE MOST RELEVANT THING I’VE EVER SEEN ON THE INTERNET. EVER.
Casually fixing this every time it crosses my dash.
The OP’s comic: what I was like pre DX.
At least half of the fixed comics: What I’ve come to realise in the years that followed DX. And yet still, often, my default is to the first. Self esteem in the face of brain disorder/dysfunction is hard, guys.
This is for those who don’t understand what executive function is. Even I know what it is after reading this and I can relate to this so much, especially in organization, impulse, and self-monitoring!
It doesn’t mention autism, but I know autistic people tend to be poor at executive functioning.
More importantly, it has tips to help one get past inertia. This could apply to those who are autistic or who have other forms of executive dysfunction.
There’s a rather wordy section on examples of autistic inertia, but this other part has some questions which may help guide you to doing things:
If you’re inertial, and you’re trying to figure out some ways of structuring things to make inertia less of a problem, here’s an outline of a possible way to proceed.
Think about the tasks/activities you do easily, and those you find difficult or impossible (it might help to write a list out). Are there patterns? For example:
Are you better at doing things in one setting (home, work, school, a friend’s house, etc.) than in another? If so, what is different about that setting?
Are you better at tasks which need to happen at a particular time than at tasks which need to happen just whenever?
Are you more likely to do things when you’ve already said out loud or in writing that you’d like to do them (or that you plan to do them, or something)?
What effect does pressure have on your likelihood of completing a task?
What effect do various sorts of reminders from friends and others have on your likelihood of completing a task?
Are you more likely to do tasks you’ve already practiced several times?
Are there certain things you get stuck doing (playing a particular computer game, etc.) which make it harder for you to move on to what you want to do?
Do you have an easier time with certain tasks when you’re alone, or when you’re with people?
Are there particular people you have an easier time doing stuff around? Are there particular people it is difficult or impossible to do stuff around?
Is it easier when the people are busy doing stuff of their own, or when they’re in certain frames of mind?
Is it easier to get stuff done when your day has gone certain ways (say, when you’ve exercised, or when you’ve eaten breakfast, or have gotten enough sleep, or aren’t stressed, or already accomplished something that day, or scheduled enough break time, or…)?
Does it help if your environment is clutter-free?
Does it help if there is a cue for what you’re trying to do (like the textbook, if you’re trying to study, or the stamps and envelope if you’re trying to send mail)?
Brainstorm some ideas for making some of the tasks/activities you care most about easier for you to do, possibly with help from a friend. Try them out for a week or so and see if they help. Then, brainstorm again.
Neurodivergent K wrote this post about making adaptations in her home environment to help her operate better there. She talks about making her life more accessible for herself.
knitting in the dark 