berry-muffin:

“Bruce was trying to teach Thor to knit and-”

“Stop. There are not words to describe all the ways that that sentence is wrong. No. I can’t-” Tony pressed a hand to the muscle twitching beside his eye. “No.”

Steve ignored him. “Bruce was trying to teach Thor to knit, and they decided on a tea cozy he could give his mother-”

“Please stop. Please, Steve.”

“And it didn’t go all that well, it was a little lopsided and not mom-present worthy, so Bruce was trying to cheer him up and find something else they could use his work for, and they settled on a hat because it was already the right shape, but it was too small for any of us, even though Thor tried it on.” He paused. “You should be glad we didn’t publish THAT picture in the New York times.”

“So. Much. Pain,” Tony gritted out.

“So since Thor loves Calcifer the toaster like a pet, the hat got a pompom and was gifted upon the toaster.”

Four (Or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark by Scifigrl47 gives me much joy so I’ll probably draw a few more pieces for it. Calcifer’s hat is too big, I realise that, but he at least looks like a toaster so I count this as a win.