I really wanted to like this book. I liked Raising Blaze, his mother’s parental account. It’s a personal account by an autist, which I always want more of. I even liked the idea of the format, which I know from reviews here put some readers off. But this book’s unique style and presentation soured for me very quickly for one reason – the continual misogyny and male entitlement.

Blaze’s attitude to girls his own or near his own age is disturbing. If they’re a friend, he flies into rages if he so much as sees them talking to another guy. If they’re a new acquaintance, he immediately scouts them as a potential girlfriend and demands their number or email address, then flies into a fury again if they never reply/answer. (Spoiler: None of them ever do.) This jealousy and rage even extends to girls he’s never met or seen – if he meets someone new and finds out they have a sister, then discovers the sister has a boyfriend, he immediately ‘hates’ them. That’s right – hates. And not just in a passing annoyed way – he hates them enough for it to ruin his entire day or a song he liked at the time.

For those who might say ‘he’s a teenager’ or ‘he’s autistic, he can’t do regular relationships’, stop right now. This has nothing to do with age or autism, and everything to do with toxic masculinity. Blaze is the result of a society that tells men, especially quirky men, that they’re ‘entitled’ to whatever girl they like. That if they push hard enough the woman they want will say yes and become a reflection of their desires. Blaze’s incessant girlfriend hunt isn’t born of a desire for romance, intimacy or companionship. The book seems to make it quite clear – he wants a girlfriend because it’s the next achievement marker in life. That’s why he demands the numbers of every girl he meets. The individual woman doesn’t matter, because she’s just an object to be gained; a proof of his masculinity.

The book was written some time ago, so I hope that in the intervening years, Blaze has learned more about what it means to be a receptive, not aggressive partner. Because if he hasn’t… well, women deserve better.