In short, what allies do is guide the conversation from a place where we are at best peripheral to a place where Autistic perspectives are central. Allies help us in our fight for a seat at the table so that once we get there we have the energy to make good use of it.
But here’s the thing: if you are trying to be an ally, you need to recognize that it’s not about you. If you are talking over Autistics or otherwise bringing the discussion back to center on ‘allies’, you are not a real ally. Real allies tell these people “don’t do that shit. This isn’t about you.”
If you are really an ally, you are not going to make it about your feelings. Declaring yourself an ally isn’t something you get to do. If you are really fighting with us and for us, it should be because it’s right, not because you want an “Ally!” sticker for your Good Person collection.
A conditional ally, by the way, is not an ally at all. Anyone who says they’d be for your cause if you weren’t so mean/if you personally educated them on every issue/if you were more appreciative is not an ally. Again, it’s not about the privileged group’s feelings here-it’s about equal rights and about our very existence. My exasperation with nearly everything does not reduce my personhood or the fact that I should have equal rights.
Let me expand on that a bit: if you’re only for my rights when I give you warm fuzzies, you aren’t at all for my rights. I’d rather know this in advance-before I put effort into you. Building strong allies from relatively clueless people who want to do the right thing is one hell of an energy investment. I do not have the time or the energy to squander on people who are ultimately faux allies.
Kassiane S. http://autisticadvocacy.org/2012/10/what-is-an-ally/ (via theaubisticagenda)
knitting in the dark 