Tag: autism

What Is Stimming ?

© Donna Williams

Someone asked me:

As I’m new to autism terminology, could someone please tell me what stimming is?

I replied:

Stimming stood for ‘self stimulatory behaviours’. Something non-auties imagined they didn’t have!

Stimming is aword created by non-auties with often negative connotations. It was a word created by non-auties who didn’t understand that some folks had compulsive but involuntary tics, some had self calming tools they didn’t understand, some had sensory fascinations they couldn’t relate to, some needed to tune out to tune in, some needed a tool for social distance in the face of compulsive social invaders, some needed to be repetitive in order to download, some needed to compensate for a non-autie multitrack world they couldn’t process in thier mono-tracked reality, some needed something to get lost in when utterly blowing all fuses…. and, anyway, the non-auties labelled, as is there tendency, this vast array of experiences with one word as if it was one thing at all times to all people labelled ‘Autistic’.

Forgive them. They know not what they see.

Donna williams (via sabatons-and-spectrums)

Yup.

Which is kind of why I go with “if you think you’re stimming, I’m not arguing.” Not like there’s a consistent definition to be had.

(via fuckyeahstimming)

jabberwockypie:

youneedacat:

ufod:

heres an idea: instead of trying to “fix” autism try to fix the way allistic people react to austic people because saying you want to cure autism and trying to find a way to make sure autistic children arent born is just like saying that you want to cure gay people and thats :///////

They actually did that.

As in, there were studies.

They found that when they tried to improve the social skills of the autistic kids, nothing much happened.

When they improved the social skills of the nonautistic kids (by telling them how to properly interact with autistic people without freaking us out and overloading us), then the autistic kids’ social skills suddenly improved.

Why?  Because we were reacting to being treated with respect for the first time ever, by other kids.  Because other kids were making room for our sensory sensitivities and our social differences.  Because they were making an accessible environment for us, and in an accessible environment, suddenly we thrived socially.

And that says everything about where the social skills problems actually lie.

How about making things that autistic people need more accessible and not cost WAY more money than most people can afford? If people are nonverbal much of the time but, say, have a much easier time typing, how about we just ACCOMMODATE THAT with electronic thingies that talk or whatever works best for that person?

My brother is 15 and autistic.  He also has some cognitive impairments.  Sam is … I don’t know a good way to say “more autistic than me” (which sounds awful) without resorting to a Functioning label, unfortunately, and I don’t want to do that.  (I’m afraid I avoid looking up autism stuff like the plague because it makes me want to set the cure and anti-vaxxer types on fire and I don’t need that added stress.)  *considers*  Sam consistently has more difficulties than I do, though we’re both on the Autism Spectrum.  How’s that?  (Seriously, if you can help with terminology, I’d appreciate it. iamshadow21, do you have anything for me that doesn’t sound terrible?)

You know what would be really great for Sam?  A service dog.  Even though we’ve been working on the “Sam, you have to look both ways before you cross the street.  Stop look and listen!” thing for years, Sam just can’t get it down.   That’s a serious safety hazard!  And I think it’d help him feel less isolated, too.  AND it’d help his anxiety and stress levels in loud, crowded public places when he starts to feel overwhelmed.  But there’s no way we can pay thousands of dollars for that.  AND a lot of service dog programs are focused around little kids with nothing for teens or adults.

Most of the autism programs – at least in our area – stop around age 10.  MAYBE a couple go to age 12.  But … apparently autistic kids aren’t going to grow up to be autistic teens and autistic young adults?  There is quite literally NOTHING for a kid Sam’s age.  There isn’t in most places.  And I’m not talking about a cure thing, but being able to socialize with other people his age who GET IT.

Sam knows he’s different.  He’s a pretty happy kid, but he does know that.  He’s lumped into a general special ed class for his first and last hour at school and mainstreamed for the rest with an aide and I HATE IT.  I hate it SO MUCH.  Half the time they just dick around and show the kids movies.  That is not educational in any way whatsoever – it’s not like they talk about the content in any way.  They don’t even seem to have anyone trained properly in Special Ed – based on my observations at any rate.

You know what Sam needs to learn that ISN’T stupid movies?  Real life skills like practice with money and how much money is worth.  (We work on that at home with his allowance for chores, but we can’t do it completely alone.)  Telling time – though he’s actually not bad at that and I try to work with him, but I’m not a trained teacher and I can’t quite figure out which part is tripping him up.  IN THEORY his actual teachers should be able to help with that.

I threw a hardcore temper tantrum – tears streaming down my cheeks and repeating sentences over and over and rocking A LOT, and screaming over my mom using the telephone – when I found out that in high school they were putting him in the “Vocational Training” class.   That’s a polite way of saying “They have the Special Education kids empty the trash and the recycling bins and sometimes work in the cafeteria serving school lunch so they don’t have to pay somebody to do it.”  And if Sam is doing that, he should damn well be getting paid.  I went to that high school (before I dropped out).  I saw the way the other assholes at high school treated those kids!

The ONLY reason that I’m putting up with it at all is that my mom has been sick/injured enough to require a lot more of my attention and doesn’t have the energy to deal with it and *I* can only handle so much – especially since I’m Sam’s sister and not his legal guardian.  And Sam likes it, but he’s being taken advantage of horribly and it infuriates me.  I want to rip their faces off with my teeth.

Goddamned fucking circle people.*

*Again to quote House:  See, skinny, socially-privileged white people get to draw this neat little circle. And everyone inside the circle is “normal”. Anyone outside the circle needs to be beaten, broken and reset so that they can be brought into the circle. Failing that, they should be institutionalized. Or worse – Pitied

If he can tell you, I’d ask him how he categorises his autistic experience and respect that, but basically, disability is not a dirty word. If particular aspects of his autism are disabling, if they affect his life in ways that need accommodation or support, then disability or difficulty are the right words to use. You are both autistic, but your patterns of dis/ability will be different from each other, as they would with any two autistic people, especially if either of you has other diagnoses to factor in. Sam may struggle with things you can manage, and vice versa. Many autistic people object to functioning labels because they imply a line, with ‘severe’ at one end and ‘neurotypical’ at the other and all the bullshit assumptions that go along with that flawed viewpoint, when really, neurodiversity is like a colour wheel scattered with buckshot. Everyone’s skills and difficulties form a different constellation.

autisticlynx:

functioning labels suck

I can talk. I can cook. I can read and write.

I often cannot comprehend things. I am often confused about nothing at all. I am frequently tired and not sure what in doing and not quite in control of my movements.

I can speak with people but I communicate weirdly. I cannot drive. I have very little focus unless I hit a point where I’m hyper focused. I do not think I could handle a job due to the anxiety and people and schedule.

loud noises terrify me. I am too often dissociated.

I might be labeled high functioning, but it doesn’t feel like I function typically enough to count as that. but I wouldn’t be labeled low functioning because I can “do stuff”.

high functioning does not fit me. low functioning does not fit me.

I don’t like functioning labels at all.

The problem with errorless learning

realsocialskills:

Content warning: This is a somewhat graphic post about ABA that links an even more graphic post.

There’s a particular variant on ABA called “errorless learning”, which works like this:

  • You break a task down into small steps
  • Then do discrete trials of the steps, over and over (If you want to know more about what discrete trials are, this post by a former ABA therapist explains it).
  • When someone does it right, you reinforce in some way (either by praise or something concrete)
  • When they do it wrong, you either ignore it, or prompt and reinforce a correct response

This is considered by many to be a kinder, gentler form of ABA than punishing incorrect responses. (And maybe in some sense it isn’t as bad as hitting someone, taking their food away, or shocking them. But that’s not the same as actually being respectful. Respecting someone takes much more than refraining from hitting them.)

Errorless learning is not actually a good or kind way to teach someone. It is profoundly disrespectful.

When you ignore responses that deviate from prompts, that means that you’re ignoring a human being whenever they did something unexpected or different from what you wanted them to do. It means you’re treating their unscripted responses as meaningless, and unworthy of any acknowledgment.

That’s not a good thing to do, even with actual errors. When people make mistakes, they’re still people, and they still need to be acknowledged as thinking people who are making choices and doing things.

Further – not every response that deviates from the response you’re trying to prompt is actually an incorrect response. There are a lot of reasons that someone might choose to do something else. Not all of them are a failure to understand; not all of them are incorrect in any meaningful sense.

For instance: they might be trying to communicate something meaningful:

  • They might be putting the story pictures in a different order than you’re prompting, because they have made up a different story than the one you’re thinking of
  • They might be giving you the boat instead of the apple when you say “give apple” because they are making a joke about the boat’s name being Apple

They might be intentionally defying you in a way that deserves respect:

  • They may be of the opinion that they have better things to do than put the blue block in the blue box for the zillionth time
  • They might know perfectly well what you mean by “give apple”, but think that eating it is a better idea
  • They might be refusing to make eye contact because it hurts

They might be thinking of the task in a different way than you are:

  • They might choosing to use a different hand position than the one you’re prompting, even if they understand what you want them to do
  • For instance, they might have discovered that something else works better for them as a way of tying their shoes
  • Or they might want to try different things
  • Or the position you’re using might hurt

People do things for reasons, and those reasons aren’t reducible to antecedents and consequences. People have an inner life, and their thoughts matter. Even children. Even nonverbal children who need a lot of help doing things. Even adults with severe cognitive impairments. Even people who have no apparent language. All people think about things and make decisions, and those decisions are meaningful. All people deserve to have their thoughts and decisions acknowledged – including their mistakes.

When you teach someone something, acknowledge all their responses as meaningful, whether or not they are what you expected. 

creatingmyowndreams:

rekit:

rekit:

The best deodorant you will ever use

Seriously. ¼ teaspoon in each pit and you can sweat your ass off, totally stink-free for like 2 full days. It’s a natural anti-bacterial so those little fuckers won’t multiply and make you smell. Plus it’s cheaper and healthier than any deod you can buy anywhere.

Use equal parts of the following:

-corn starch
-baking soda
-coconut oil
-cocoa butter

With a few drops of whatever essential oil you want, for fragrance. Otherwise it basically just smells like nothing. I use tea tree oil & pine needle oil. Cuz they’re MANLY.

Note – It pretty much turns to liquid if it’s warmer than about 75 degrees. If you want to keep it solid, you can refrigerate it or add a little more corn starch.

Reblogging myself again, cuz I still use this and it’s still awesome

This is what I’ve been using for about a year now and it works wonders.

Not convinced it works? My fiance is literally the smelliest human being I’ve ever met when he’s been sweating all day. I made him some with tea tree oil and he now smells nice and mint-ish as the end of the day, even if he’s been outside working.

Not to mention it’s cheaper, smells better, better for you AND better for the environment to make your own 😀

My partner has chemical sensitivities. I am autistic, and have sensory sensitivities. I also have body odour that doesn’t really respond much to commercial deodorants, and this stuff works amazingly for me.

HOWEVER

Crunchy Betty, who came up with the recipe I use discovered, as I did, that certain people (me included) can have a skin reaction to corn starch. Use tapioca/arrowroot starch instead – it’s less likely to give you an itchy pit rash, and it works just as well.

Crunchy Betty’s recipe – we modified it for ease – we don’t infuse the neutral oils, we just put in a capful of lavender oil for scent/antibacterial properties. We also use olive oil in place of the sunflower oil. It takes all of five minutes to make, and you really don’t need to use much at a time. One batch should keep you going for months.

actuallyclintbarton:

dysfunctionalqueer:

is there such a thing as scent stimming? Because if there is I’m doing it right now

I got a cup of coffee grinds and I’m just holding it under my nose and smelling it over and over again and it smells so nice! 

I smell books while I read them if I’m stressed out. It’s totally a thing.

Books, yes, awesome, but tangelo peel. TANGELO PEEL. I eat the tangelo and then the peel is there and I hold it and bend it and smell it and it’s like the best citrussy smell in the world, for real.

swift-fate:

imagine if there was an LGBT awareness day

and it was sponsored by an organization that treats non-hetero sexualities and non-cis gender identities as a disease, and that has paid for the legal defenses of parents who murder their gay children, and that promotes researching a cure that will fix us all and make us cis and straight

and most of the posts in the LGBT tag are “I am a mother/father/brother/sister of an LGBT person, and I want you to know that they’re human despite their disease.”

(posts by actual gay, bisexual, and trans* people are fewer, because there are fewer of us.)

and half of them are also about ‘the struggles of growing up with an LGBT family member’ and how ‘dealing with an LGBT child can put a strain on your marriage’

and some of them are links to ‘encouraging’ news about how scientists are close to finding the genes for gayness so you can abort your child in the womb if they test positive for gayness

when LGBT people speak up about this they are told they should be glad that people are raising awareness for them and that they aren’t, in any event, the ‘type of gay people’ the others are talking about

and now you know how I feel about Autism Awareness Day

As a queer girl who is also autistic, this is a really relevant metaphor to me.