Some days suck

Anxiety is super bad today, so I had to take a valium. Between the Valium and the anxiety, I can barely focus to read, which is REALLY ANNOYING because my book is really awesome right now (Trickster’s Queen- Tamora Pierce) and I have only read it once before, over ten years ago, and I don’t remember the story enough to skim it. Also don’t have focus to knit, and am chewing my nails down to the quick, so I’ve got my Tangle Jr. Hairy and I’m hoping that will be enough to stop me chewing may hands so bad.

Ugh.

Hey in regarding the “reblog to help xyz” what do you mean by that? For example, “reblog for goodluck” give me a sense of hope or “reblog and your cat will be healthy all year” makes me happy and of course I’ll reblog because I love my cat or “reblog to help so and so” why not help someone? Even if its fake does it not make you happy to think you did it out of love or whatever? Even the “reblog or your mom dies tonight” yeah those can be scary but in your head you’re like “i love my mom why not”

Because it is, as I have said, magical thinking bullshit that damages people, especially people with conditions like OCD or Generalised Anxiety Disorder. It hurts people. If you want to reblog things, nobody is stopping you. But posts that are deliberately phrased to make people feel powerless if they choose to not reblog them are never helpful. And posts that trap people into patterns of superstitious, compulsive actions can ruin lives. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but some people already can’t leave their house without rituals and compulsions that their brain tells them they must complete or people will be hurt or die. Reblogging a post that has no purpose, that is purely a superstition or a guilt trip, helps no one, makes you more likely to compulsively reblog posts like it in the future, and exposes people who follow you to perpetuate the same cycle of behaviour. A blog post cannot hurt your mother. By reblogging it, you’re acting as if it has a power it literally does not have, and you’re spreading it, like a virus, through the internet. It’s a chain letter, and like a chain letter, the only power it has is the power to spread unhappiness, and it only spreads through you. That’s the point I’m making. You never have to reblog something. It literally has no power. But you do.

adhighdefinition:

dontaskmetofocus:

adhighdefinition:

cosmicblushes:

love that adhd feel when “and there goes my ability to read”

why u ask?

– it’s too noisy
– my brain keeps thinking too many Thoughts
– re-read it again till u die
– BOREDOM!!!
– constantly zoning out
– the tiny sound in the distance
– too stressed out because I CAN’T READ

isn’t adhd fun!!!

– wait… that’s not what it said… or is it?

– i just skipped eight lines wtf

– is this English?

– where the fuck was i

– *gets up to do something* *never returns*

– wait how long have I been reading for

– I remember Nothing (except for a few unnecessary things in excruciating detail )

– must move NOW

– font bad

– song stuck in my head

*GETS UP TO DO SOMETHING* *NEVER RETURNS*

The not being able to read, in all seriousness, is one of the most upsetting, stressmaking manifestations of my ADHD. Reading has always been the way I check out, escape, relax, and when my brain stops letting me focus enough to read, I lose that outlet, and it makes the agitation and stress and anxiety WORSE. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle of suck.

stolligaseptember:

do you ever tire of how, like, dramatic anxiety is?? it’s like. bitch. bitch. it’s not that serious. we’ll live. it’ll probably be a pain in the ass, but we’ll live. so stop making me feel like i’m actively dying.

I have been saying for years that neurotypical people have NO IDEA HOW BORING anxiety and depression are. It’s not so much, ‘OMG, the world is ending, how will I cope????’ but ‘Seriously? Again? Bitch, I GOT SHIT TO DO. Outside. You know, the place I’m having a panic attack at thinking about going. FFS, GET IT TOGETHER.’