Why “doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

clover1982:

damnfool-of-a-took:

systlin:

noriannbraindripshere:

systlin:

tatianathevampireslayer:

lovelyplot:

merrybitchmas91:

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

This would’ve been great an hour ago

If your anxiety includes rapid heartbeat for no reason then it may help to exercise! It helps for me because I’m focused on whatever moves I’m doing and breathing, and it gives my heart rate a reason to be that high so that I can start the slow cooking down process and (hopefully) bring that heart rate down with it. Look up a quick cardio workout on YouTube or something and just do it in your room!

This is so, SO true. 

All ‘doing something relaxing’ ever did for me was give my brain MORE free time to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. 

I like how this boil down to grabbing something then tell the brains weasels to GO FETCH YOU PIECES OF SHIT

I mean. 

That’s basically it tho. 

Yeah… One good thing about ADHD, I guess… the brain weasels are as distractable as the rest of me 😀

Of course, sometimes they also unlock hyperfocus mode, but, eh. Could be worse.

This advice is gold.  

bizarre neurodivergence things

allllltheautism:

headphones-and-tea:

h-oney-b-ones:

no-spoons-given:

authenticautistic:

goldenbonnies:

  • Nesting
  • Hoarding things
  • Taking things apart
  • Wandering
  • Shitty memory
  • Needing pressure on your body to sleep

“why are you inside the blanket”

“you don’t need that many ????”

*takes pens apart constantly*

“so you mean to tell me you go to town to walk around the shops and that’s it?”

*in a familiar area* “where to ____” “idk sorry”

*tries to balance weighted lap pad on my shoulder as I sleep*

Fucking mood

We’re all just confused, vaguely nomadic dragons

I support this theory!

Reblog if you’re a confused, vaguely nomadic dragon, too

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

maltedmilkchocolate:

Time blindness is the weirdest aspect of executive dysfunction and so weird as an experience to live with.

It’s like you see the clock, the clock says 3pm, you look at the clock again and it’s 3:02, then 3:05, and then you look again and it’s 8pm and WHAT THE FUCK.

You don’t even need hyperfocus. But hyperfocus is like the Warp Speed:tm: version cause when that hits, it’s 3pm and then it’s the next day and why is the sun rising and when did i last eat and oh god i need to use the bathroom. And oh, also, you’re EXHAUSTED. The act of your brain tunnel visioning on something drains you (but that’s another topic).

Time blindness is…. having the general knowledge that today is Wednesday, and you need to do something on Thursday. Thursday is logically tomorrow, but the mysterious void of time is like ‘that’s like next week or something.’ 

It’s knowing you have to do something in three weeks on the 21st. And as the days creep closer, the 21st is stuck in a constant state of still being 3 weeks away, despite the fact it’s now tomorrow.

It’s wild. ADHD is literally living in a constant state of “There is Now. And there is Later.” and there’s no in between; no dates, no times; no hours, weeks, or months. It’s just Now and Later, and oh god why is is X o’clock already!?

Holy shit someone actually described my relationship with time wtf.

This was something I thought everyone experienced in my prediagnosis state, until I wrote about it in a short story and a teacher told me it was bad writing because ‘time doesn’t do that’.

yourunderwaterskies:

One of the biggest ADHD moods is wanting to watch things, but no. You gotta check this, you gotta go get a drink, do some backflips, notice the floor tiles, get a snack. Get a drink. Get another drink. Get some exercises in.

The one episode is paused halfway and now you gotta go to bed. It’s one of 50 tabs of half-finished fics, articles and youtube vids you wanna watch. But the ADHD is demanding cartwheels and the checkening of social media.

You’re behind on all your shows or other media because 5 minutes in and your brain suddenly shifts and you GOTTA DO STUFF. 

Replace cartwheels with pacing and yeah, it me.

strangerdarkerbetter:

candidlyautistic:

anonymousspaceman:

Ok y’all I need to know: are you a tight clothes autistic or a baggy clothes autistic? Do you buy everything a size up or a size down?

Size down. Tighten up those clothes. Show off that ass. Flash those ankles. Set the world on fire. Hide under the table in a panic.

#Mood

I want my clothes to cling to my body like a second skin (well, at least the bottom layer of clothes. Other layers can be swishy)

Everything loose except underwear, shoes, socks and wristwatch. Can’t stand those things too loose. Tight stuff on my feet and wrists actually helps me be grounded. I have a pair of polar fleece bondage cuffs that I’ve taken all the buckles off that are great for this and help me avoid meltdowns in public.