EXCEPT, what people need to realise is that ‘person-first’ is not the only way and that for certain people and certain groups, ‘identity-first’ language is preferred by many of their number, the d/Deaf/HoH and a/Autistic communities in particular. (neurowonderful has a good links post about identity-first language in the a/A community HERE.) If someone tells you they prefer identity-first language, RESPECT THIS. Don’t feel that it’s your place to tell them they’re wrong/not PC, explain to them that they ‘are not their illness/disability’ or that they’re ‘letting their illness/disability define them’, or ‘giving in to their illness/disability’.
Disability being seen as an exclusively ‘negative, dehumanising’ thing is incredibly problematic. A disability is a thing a disabled person/person with a disability has to live with. It impacts their day to day life, health and abilities. It does not make that person any less human than anyone else. You know what does that? Telling that person what they’re allowed to call themselves or identify as.
IT IS NOT YOUR DECISION. IT IS NOT YOUR CHOICE. IT’S THEIRS.
If you don’t know what form of language to use with someone, take your cues from them or ask them, ‘what do you prefer?’ if it’s important for your interaction.
And don’t use reclaimed words unless you’re entitled to use them. Someone with mobility issues calling themselves a cripple? Someone with mental health issues calling themselves crazy? They’re allowed to. You calling them or someone else that without permission or prior consent? Don’t.
Awww yeah cripple punk all night cripple punk all day
though I’m more of a soft grunge cripple myself
exhibit number infinity of ableist assholes trying to police disabled people’s identity and proving what narrow-minded eugenicist wastes of space they are.
Shame, especially when it comes in the form of internalized ableism, is so difficult to shed. But I keep reminding myself that I am enough. — Kat (@Ask_anAspergirl) September 11, 2014 Before our se…
This is a response to the awful, pooooor aduuuuuuults Cracked article about working with “troubled children”. I worked in a classroom for kindergarten-4th graders with an educational classification of Behavior Disorder/Emotionally Disturbed. I loved them all, each and every one. Most of them had been through more by age 7 than anyone should be ever. This post is dedicated to them. I hope they are all safe & healing now.
Communication is not only speaking, typing, texting or signing. Communication is also being able to listen and understand, being accommodated to make interaction possible.
Image description: Tweet from Marlee Matlin, “Only in Hollywood is my interpreter counted as a ‘guest’ for a pre-Oscar party saying I can’t bring anyone else. Wise up. It’s called access”
Ugh, Hollywood, you suck.
Love Marlee Matlin, she was fantastic on CSI the other year opposite Jorja Fox.
This stupid joke on Cheezburger shows people in wheelchairs at the World Cup who have stood up to cheer with the caption “Miracles Happen Every Day at the World Cup!”
I know this is a joke but it’s part of this trend to call anyone who uses a wheelchair but can also walk, a fake.
Paralysis is really not the only reason someone is in a wheelchair. There are many, very legitimate reasons to use a wheelchair that don’t involve someone not being able to stand. A wheelchair is a mobility tool for people who have trouble with pain, fatigue, balance or joint problems not to mention broken bones or dislocations. Most of these people can stand up and even walk a short way this does not mean they shouldn’t use a wheelchair. People really need to get this. The media (and I know this is not a news article but there have been some) needs to stop convincing the public that anyone who is not paralysed is not disabled.
You CAN NOT tell by looking at someone if the they have an invisible illness. You can not tell if they have heart trouble, if they have Lupus or arthritis or EDS. You can not tell by looking at someone if they are in pain.
Going to a sporting event is massively painful and exhausting. If you are running on very little energy to begin with there is no way you can manage it without assistive devices and why should people have to miss out on things they love because they are disabled? Why should going grocery shopping be something that takes all week to recover from? If walking and standing are something you take for granted then I am happy for you but it is not something I have ever done.
I’ll use myself as an example. I have EDS so my joints are prone to dislocation. Have you ever dislocated something? Have you had a bone shift and pinch a nerve? It’s not fun. My joints hurt all the time and they are unstable. My blood vessels are too stretchy so if I stand still for any length of time I pass out. My balance is terrible and I fall a lot and that causes more damage. I also have Fibromyalgia so all my pain signals are amplified and much of my soft tissue is effected. And just to make things extra difficult I have CFS/ME. I only have the energy to shower once a week most of the time. Moving around the house is often exhausting. Sitting upright can be too much on bad days. Walking around the shops is so, so exhausting. Getting to a sporting event or a concert is a major undertaking.
I look fine. I am a fat woman in her 30s who can walk and stand for short amounts of time. I am not lazy. I am in pain and running on empty and trying not to pass out.
To go to a major event a wheelchair would help stop dislocations (not entirely stop, I dislocate fingers often while driving), it would help keep my pain more managable. It would help reserve what little energy I have so I can make it through the day. I will still need a week to recover. A week of massive pain and migraines and fevers and sleeping 12 hours a night. A week where I can’t shower or cook food or do household tasks.
A wheelchair would help stop me falling over. When you have bad balance it’s hard enough to walk on your own. In a crowd it can be awful. You get bumped all the time but if you can’t correct your balance after it you fall and falling can do so, so much damage.
A wheelchair is often more suited to sitting in than a plastic chair at a sporting event. Hard chairs with no lumbar support can cause pain and muscle strain in your back and neck, they can put pressure on joints to move ways they shouldn’t, they just hurt. Sitting for hours in a chair like that is uncomfortable for anyone but for someone with underlying problems can cause massive pain and dislocations and muscle spasms and migraines.
So don’t judge that person on the scooter or in a wheelchair or parking in a disabled parking space if they have a permit. Just because you can not see any problem with them does not mean they are faking it or rorting the system. One day of joy at an even is not representative of how people live their lives. I go to the Mardi Gras parade each year in Sydney. I get drunk and take a lot of pain killers. I spend the weeks before reserving my energy. I spend many, many weeks afterwards recovering. I know how much I pay to spend the night leaning on a barrier and cheering on the parade. If you don’t see my cane you may not know I’m disabled but that doesn’t stop the pain and the price I pay. Don’t judge my life by what you see that one day. A wheelchair or scooter would be fantastic for such a big day out but they are expensive and I can not afford one.
Invisible illnesses and disabilities are invisible but they are still there! Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to take things like walking and standing and going places for granted. Remember that. Read the spoon theory by Christine Miserandino and stop judging people by what you can see. People could be dealing with all sorts of pain and complications and really struggling to have a day out or just get enough food to get through the week and comments and muttering and ‘looks’ and taunts just make it all so much worse. it’s none of your business.
knitting in the dark 