So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When I asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like “Lady Macbeth,” and he nodded like “I know what I’m about ma’am.” So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said “HE’S THE ONE, HE’S MY WIFE!” So I said “yeah sure why not,” and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say “I’m the luckiest man on Earth” and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like “BABE!”.
I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read ‘Macbeth’ before, so… all this lovey dovey… I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them the truth.
Update:
- Macbeth is absolutely willing to fucking throw down for Lady Macbeth. Has already threatened a wall, a desk, a few students, a textbook that was neither his nor Lady Macbeth’s, and me
- Lady Macbeth is enjoying the attention and has begun to use this new connection to his advantage. I’m starting to suspect he’s read ahead in the play.
- Macbeth is going to end up living in detention at this rate.
- Macbeth has no idea that he is the tragedy of the story. Claims to be the hero of the play, fails to see the irony in this
- Macbeth slowly scooted his desk across the classroom to hold hands with Lady Macbeth. He was not subtle.
- Macbeth has proposed on several occasions. Lady Macbeth just laughs and says they’re already married.
- Macbeth’s girlfriend is in the class with them and is “totally not jealous or anything just thinks this whole fucking play is a waste of time”
- Lady Macbeth should probably be a theatre major at some point, he fucking rocked Act V scene I
- Other teachers and staff are emailing me about the “lovely lords”. Lady Macbeth now refuses to answer to anything other than Lady Macbeth and is always very upset when people don’t call him by his proper title.
Tag: a+ teaching
This is one of the best interactions I’ve ever had.
Two school age kids: “Oh look at the big white puppy!”
Their mother: “Come here, let me explain something to you. That dog is a Service Dog. Whenever you see a dog in a store like this you can’t distract it cause it’s working.”
Two kids: “What do you mean he’s working?”
Mom: “He helps that girl. You know how at school your teacher tells you to be quite so you don’t get distracted doing your work? It’s the same thing with that dog. You can’t distract him.”
Two kids: “What does he help her with?”
Mom: “That’s her business. Your business is to not distract him so he can work.”
If children can understand so can you.
This is so sweet.
This is how you educate, destigmatise and support people with service dogs in a way that isn’t othering or ‘inspirational’. It’s giving able people a useful role, which is often where they struggle with interactions with disabled people. Your business is to let service dogs do their job. Why they need the dog is not your business.
my favorite out of context quotes from my archeology professor so far in no particular order
- and floridians are just as human as you and me!
- and the moral of the story is that there are no deadly snakes native to alaska
- you might know this guy as one of the only archaeologists cool enough to be mentioned by indiana jones
- it’s my dream to have my name said by harrison ford
- i’m not going to apologize for having this class at 6am because you paid for it and it’s your fault.
- we don’t all dress like lara croft. i tried to get it to be a thing on a dig and my colleagues yelled at me.
- they were pretty good archaeologists except they were too racist to realize anything they found.
- i take back what i said about us not dressing like lara croft because lewis binford here is wearing nothing but short shorts and a cowboy hat. take notes for an academic halloween costume!
- archaeologists can be good artists! not me, though. or anyone i know. but if you can draw just know you have options.
- sometimes you find dead bodies when you dont really expect it and you just have to deal with it
- archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses.
- once i ruined thanksgiving dinner when i told my family i had gotten my degree in archaeology and my uncle commented he liked dinosaurs too
- the closest i’ve ever been to a grizzly bear is when i left my glasses in my tent on a dig in alaska, saw a big rock in the distance, and almost screamed
additional quotes
- ah yes. archaeologists. or, as i love to call us, pottery analysts
- i mean he was kind of a good guy for helping us beat britain but he owned slaves so that really cancelled it out.
- archaeology is like cultural anthropology, except after you interview the person you turn around and shoot them in the head.
- do not use trees! trees are bad! don’t do it!
- usually you find shards, but it’s super exciting when you find a really big shard
- it’s basically like a waterpark, except you’re fully clothed and walking through a dark tunnel knee deep in muddy water. so, basically splish splash.
- i dont believe in curses but my colleagues and i like to encourage the idea of them so people stop touching our stuff
- usually, you would find a knife in a kitchen. or underneath your pillow to really freak out your roommate who is a history nerd and has no idea why you would sleep with a knife under your pillow and he’ll get really scared and freaked out and okay i’m getting off topic
- no matter what the other scientists say, archaeology is a real science.
- don’t worry, i promise you, and whatever government agency that’s spying on me right now, that i’m not a crazy communist trying to overthrow the government
- by now you’ve noticed the big “POP QUIZ” written on the board. there isn’t one, but i wanted to see the looks on your face when you saw it. but you’re all dead inside so it’s not really funny.
- everything was fine except the citizens of pompeii just woke up dead the next day
- the number one question you should ask when you read old archaeology papers is “how the hell do you know?”
- nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible
- this is incredible! all it takes is a computer the size of this room!
even more from the margins of my notebook!
- when in doubt, it’s ritualistic
- coprolites are the only shit archaeologists get excited over
- i know the only reason you’re not laughing at my hilarious jokes is because it’s early
- they called it the garbage project. which is also what people call the projects i work on when we apply for funding.
- what you have to realize is that people are fundamentally weird. they do weird stuff now and they have done it thousands of years ago.
- things come and go but pottery is forever
- i dont know if you all know this but moose are terrifying abominations.
- and today’s lesson is about the difference between dirt and soil!
- please, please, please do not eat old butter you found buried in a bog.
- normally i would say this blackboard is a feature because it isn’t portable and can’t be moved but this is a community college so who knows
one of my biggest fears is that this will get so many notes that someone in the class will see it and show it to the professor and he’ll realize half the notes ive been taking in class are jotting down the weird shit he says
This was the most magical thing I’ve ever read.
I would have loved this class. There are some good nuggets in there, among the weird. I’ve told my students a variant of this one:
“nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible”
That right there is half the religious education for middle schoolers curriculum I’m writing.
SMASH REBLOG
I Will Not Be Eaten
The true feminine
I am not sugar and spice and everything nice. I am music, I am art. I am a story. I am a church bell, gonging out wrongs and rights and normal nights. I was baby. I am child. I will be mother. I don’t mind being considered beautiful, I do not allow that to be my definition. I am a rich pie strong with knowledge. I will not be eaten.
knitting in the dark 