Category: Uncategorized

So, state of me

Mental health – still blows, but is somewhat more bearable than three months ago

Talking therapy – is still useless for me, so I’ve finished my six sessions I get for free and am going back to reading books. Currently reading You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid?, and have The Body Keeps The Score waiting in the wings.

Exercise – is something I should be doing, again, but I’ve been struggling to leave the house, so, ugh.

As for more mental health stuff, I’m trying to get back into drawing and colouring, and man, it is so hard after not doing it for about ten years.

Also, I found my old deck of tarot cards in the one of the boxes of belongings I’d left at home when I moved out and mum totally neglected, and it was utterly destroyed.

Yeah.

So I’ve ordered a replacement of the old deck I had, and ordered a new one too, both on Mum’s dime, since it was her fault my stuff was trashed, and she offered to replace things. There’s a lot I’m not going to bother with, and a lot I flat out CAN’T replace, but I wanted my damn deck.

I don’t tend to use decks like a lot of people do. I don’t think they’re magic or sentient or anything (no problem if you do), but I do think you can find answers by using a draw to look at your question sideways, if that makes sense, and using a card to make you think of a solution or look at a situation differently. So that’s what I’ll be trying to do with them. The replacement deck will take at least three weeks to get here, the new one will probably take over a month, so I’ve got some time to think about how to use them before they arrive.

I bought some remnant fabric from Spotlight in dark grey panne velvet, black satin and poly chiffon that’s patterned in grey, green and purple. They’re so I can make a cloth to lay out readings on and make some storage bags for the cards when I’m not using them. The bags at least will have to wait until I’ve got the decks so I know the dimensions and can make them the right size.

Anyone out there interested in tarot who has anything to suggest that might be helpful for me getting started, bearing in mind I tend to be an instinctive reader, not a rule follower, and my decks are going to be fairly gender neutral ones open to intepretation outside conventional cis/het/neurotypical norms?

Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section

inubz101:

what-even-is-thiss:

akreliadeklavesht:

k-lionheart:

fenland-witch:

inconspicuouslyevil:

thatoneartyishperson:

thewinterotter:

prismatic-bell:

serrie-smiles:

They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.

don’t believe me? look:

image

these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own

image

See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??

image

Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-

image

what? what’s this?

image

Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.

image

Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.

Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.

Curvy ladies: Men’s dress pants have more room in the butt. I don’t know why, I only know that all my dress pants for work are off the rack in the men’s department in Target. Literally nobody has noticed, except a couple of my younger coworkers who’ve asked me–you guessed it–”oh my god, where did you find pants with pockets?”

Tall ladies: men’s pants are easier to find in longer lengths than women’s pants are.

Trans ladies: Wanna get on this gravy train, but afraid people will misgender you for wearing clothes off the men’s racks? Step one: tell me who these people are and I will punch them in the face. Step two: if it doesn’t make you dysphoric, please don’t feel obligated to wear pants off the women’s racks if pants off the men’s racks are more comfy/useful to you. I’m a cis woman who’s been wearing pants from the boys’ section and, later, the men’s section, ever since I hit puberty and in thirteen years maybe, maybe half a dozen people have noticed. And it’s always women asking the oh-my-god-pockets question. You’re all good. ❤

Fat ladies: you will pay the same for a pair of 42×32 jeans as for a pair of 34×32 jeans, instead of having to pay some kind of Fat Penance Tax by way of being in the “plus size” section. Also, did I mention more room in the butt?

Ladies concerned about modesty: For obvious reasons, there is more crotch space in men’s pants. Embrace it and enjoy a life free from cameltoe worries and spontaneous labia-wedgies when you squat down.

All ladies: I swear to god the waists in women’s pants these days are made specifically to fit exactly nobody so that no matter what you do, your underwear will show. Men’s pants do not do this. The waists sit where they’re supposed to and will actually lay flat against the small of your back instead of flopping open to show your unmentionables to the world. If you want hiphugger jeans, buy one leg-length too small and one waist-size too large and let them hang, and they still won’t accidentally show your undies. Men’s pants will last longer. They cost less, in a lot of cases. Embrace the men’s jeans. Buy the men’s jeans. Stop buying shitty flimsy women’s jeans that wear out in six months.

AND FINALLY: to determine your size in men’s pants, take a tape measure around your waist at its smallest point. This is your waist size and will be the first number in a pair of men’s pants. Next, take the tape measure from about an inch below your no-no squares parts, and run it to your ankle. (You may need a friend or parent to help with this.) This is your inseam length, and will be the second number on a pair of men’s pants. Men’s and boys’ pants are tailored the same way, so if you have trouble finding your waist size in men’s, hop over to the boys’ section. Feel no shame. If they’d give us decent fucking pants we wouldn’t have to steal theirs, right?

Listen you guys, I am SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen this first post before, and recently my mom said, “Hey, did you see that post on Tumblr about shopping for jeans in the men’s department?”

And I said yeah, I’d seen it, I’ve been through the Trying To Fit Clothes On My Stupid Body wars, and this post really only applied to skinny jeans because they’re so stretchy. It couldn’t possibly work for regular jeans! I have TRIED SO MANY TIMES. I’ve always shopped in the men’s department because women’s clothes are like 90% bullshit and 10% fake pockets.

But I hadn’t seen the second addition, which gave me more hope, and I decided to just try on a few pairs when I was at Old Navy the other day. They have some “classic” jeans with no give to them at all, which is what I was trying on years ago that convinced me it just wasn’t possible. (Jeans in my price range didn’t really come with any form of stretch back then, as I recall. Textile technology is bad-ass.) But these days they mostly have “flex” jeans that have some give to them. (Women’s jeans are usually labeled “stretch” but apparently men’s have to be “flex” like they need stretchy garments so their HUGE MUSCLES don’t just TEAR THEIR CLOTHES!)

This was totally an impulse decision so I couldn’t measure myself, but I grabbed a few sizes based on what I vaguely thought my measurements probably were and decided it couldn’t possibly be worse than the endless cycle of regret, dissatisfaction, and recrimination that is trying on women’s clothing.

The first pair I tried on fit like a DREAM. I’ve been gaining weight lately which is a whole separate nightmare (mainly centered around “but I don’t WANT to buy new bras, this is bullshit!”) and the reason I need to buy new jeans because nothing freaking fits me, and I was sure these wouldn’t either, but DAMN. They’re the best pair of jeans I own. Twice as thick, pockets twice as big, legs nice and loose (they don’t even sell women’s jeans with a cut remotely similar to this), and contrary to my super dumb opinion from before this experience, they’ve got my plenty of room for all my womanly curvey bits. AND because they’re actually a relaxed fit instead of trying to cling to every inch of me, they don’t show my weight nearly as much as my women’s jeans do, they’re easier to move in, they’re not constantly inching down my hips with every move I make, and overall they just make me feel GOOD about how I look which is a strange new sensation I could definitely get used to.

It’s like a miracle. I want to cry both out of joy and because of all the shitty jeans now filling my closet when I could have been buying comfortable, relaxed, pocket-having men’s jeans all these years. Many blessings to the posters above, may your crops grow and your cows give milk and your jeans hold all the gadgets you desire.

Also: men’s pants have constant sizes that are based off of actual measurements instead of the women’s whatever-the-company-wants-to-make-the-size sizes. They’re far more reliable and your size will translate to other brands.

@get-dunkd-on help me remember this for our next Goodwill run lmao

I HAVE to try some men’s jeans. Sick of these super skinny show everything always having to be hitched up no pocket crap jeans!

Honestly signal boost. Because imagine this actually starts some kind of ludicrous pants revolution that ends up causing women’s pants fashion company’s sales to tank, absolutely forcing them to realize men’s pants have always had the right idea and start doing that instead of this bullshit. Like just imagine. And don’t just signal boost this. Tell every woman you know. Tell every trans friend and every curvy friend out there. You see a lady down the street, stop her and tell her you’ve discovered a new gospel and it’s purchasing men’s pants. With the way women spread information when we’re excited, the mentioned scenario could actually be hella achievable

PRAISE THE UNIVERSE I FOUND THIS POST AGAIN

Guys. Gals. Non binary pals. As a trans ftm person who just recently started shopping in the men’s department and has gigantic hips full of dysphoria let me tell you a thing.

Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. I repeat. Athletic cut jeans have more room in the butt. You don’t need to go to the dress pants to fit your lovely curvy self in there. Go to the regular section or big and tall if you’re a bit taller and/or wider, and there’ll be a little section of athletic style jeans. They’ve still got the giant blessed pockets and the room in the crotch and if you’re really curvy with a large bone structure like I am you can get yourself some quality pants.

This has been an addition by your local nb trans dude. Thank you for your time.

Reblog to save a fucking life

a-kinkajou:

“They were warned numerous times – don’t veer off the path in the Gardens of Asgard.Of course, Steve Rogers heeds the advice of no one. Ever.“

collab for @capreversebb​
read & look at more arts on AO3: Gardens of Asgard by the most amazing @anthonystan​ who turned my straight up sexpollen prompt into so much more! *anaconda-hugs her until she makes desperate EEK noises* THANK YOU for making this challenge so much fun!

jabberwockypie:

aniseandspearmint:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

jabberwockypie:

darlinghogwarts:

“listen… harry’s in trouble, and we could tell mum and dad, but I reckon we should just steal the flying car and go kidnap him in his muggle neighborhood, even though I’m 12 and you’re both 14 and this is a crime and the three of us cant drive”

“excellent”

This is bullshit.

Nobody in Harry’s life – no ADULT – ever did anything about the abuse he suffered at the hands of the Dursleys.  Nobody did anything when they were told he was being starved, that there were bars on the windows, that they.  Albus Fucking Dumbledore didn’t do anything about it.

Nobody in canon, or JKR herself in interviews or on Pottermore, even uses the word “abuse”.  It’s all about how “the Durlseys treated him badly”.  Nobody says abuse.

What Ron, Fred, and George did was nothing short of heroic.  That they needed to do it is an indictment of every adult in Harry’s life, magical and non-magical alike.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower Need some back-up here because I’m hitting that point of “I want to set something on fire.”

I thought you did a pretty good job, actually. Even when adults are told about the conditions Harry was found in (literally IMPRISONED: remember, folks, the Dursleys were not going to let him go back to Hogwarts in book 2) nobody does anything. Nobody acts on the fact that a family literally imprisoned a child.

Someone I used to follow on LJ/DW was literally imprisoned by their parent. Nobody ever did anything. No one would believe them when they told other adults. No one wanted to believe it.

This shit happens and adults do nothing because it might interfere with their worldview that everything is just fuckin’ peachy…or someone in *power* that they respect/fear has told them not to interfere for the good of some cause/reason or another. That is one of the most terrifyingly realistic aspects of JKR’s books, but it’s glossed over by everyone who doesn’t believe that could ever possibly happen in real life.

And hey: there is more than one way to imprison someone.

(Aside from the fact that my mother locked the door and literally stood in front of it in an attempt to keep me from leaving the house once. Afterwards she pretended it had never happened.)

JK is actually on record (a radio interview, I think, but don’t quote me) as saying she doesn’t think the way Harry was treated by the Dursley’s was abuse.

That was the moment I lost all respect for her. 

I do not care that she donated millions to charity, I care that she clearly thinks starvation and swinging a frying pan at a child’s head is an okay thing to do. That it’s okay to put bars on a child’s window to keep them in, and bolts the door shut. 

@jabberwockypie Now I feel like setting something on fire too. *passes the chocolate and marshmallows*

Just … *SCREAMING*  So. Much. Screaming and FIRE.

See, when I learn things like this, I also become somewhat Concerned about the person’s children.  (Jude Watson has a daughter and considering the Jedi Apprentice stuff, I’m ALSO worried there.)

Do I think JKR would lock her kids in their rooms with bars on the window?  Probably not, but if you’re not willing to admit that withholding food and is abuse, if you’re not willing to address emotional abuse and gaslighting AT ALL, trying to make a child hate themselves (like with what the Dursleys do with magic).  I’m extremely concerned about what you think appropriate parenting looks like.

Frankly I also think it’s extremely irresponsible when your intended audience consists of children and teenagers.  At some point somebody needs to say “This thing that happened to this character was wrong”.  Because children who are being abused? we don’t KNOW.  Or we don’t necessarily process it that way.  It’s “not that bad” or it’s “It’s not like they’re beating me.” and every time it gets worse (the time my mother gave me a black eye), you move the goalposts of Not That Bad “It’s not like it’s ALL THE TIME”.