I know we don’t get happily ever afters in real life. I’m a hopeless romantic, not a total fucking idiot. As my friend, Russell, said to me once, “Even with the happiest couples, one of you dies first.” But first there is such unalloyed joy.
We went to the supermarket yesterday and we were wandering around and,
at one point, he took my hand, because that’s the kind of thing he does. And instantly, I got flustered. Residual anxiety. Remembrance of past battery. Enduring scars. Even though I know I’m hardly likely to get my head kicked in by the salad bar, PDAs can still make me nervous. And then he said, gentle as anything, and I’m not going to do the accent…
“If there’s a gay kid in here with his folks, frightened that he’s a freak, don’t you think that it might give him hope, seeing two guys wandering around, being themselves, getting their groceries, like everyone else?” If happiness is a place… it’s the biscuit aisle in Sainsbury’s. And anywhere else I am with him.
okay but imagine that james wasn’t in the house that halloween. he was talking to dumbledore or out to get groceries or anything that has him out of the house. so lily is home alone but she still sacrifices herself for her son, so the curse still rebounds and hits voldemort and “kills” him. so harry is still the boy who lived, but james is alive.
and of course it’s awful. it’s a terrible moment, burying lily. james is devestated and has no idea how he’s going to raise harry alone. he has to testify that peter betrayed the order, because he’s alive to pass on the knowledge that peter was his secret keeper, not sirius. sirius doesn’t go to prison because he’s too busy helping james cope with lily’s death to go after peter, and peter’s already faked his death by the time he can leave james.
remus and sirius move in with james to help take care of harry, because he swears he can’t do it on his own. remus doesn’t have to focus on rent and food money because james tells him he’s family, so he can focus on a job he actually enjoys such as editing or writing, something freelance so he can take full moons off and no one will wonder why.
sirius refuses to get any job beside full time babysitter, curls up as padfoot and keeps harry warm and safe, especially when the boy gets older and starts having nightmares about what happened to his mom.
harry is raised in the wizarding world, with the most protective family of anyone he’s ever met, and invites ron and hermione over to his house during the summer and somehow padfoot always gets them into some sort of trouble.
when harry goes through hardships at hogwarts, he always has his dad to turn to. james would stroke his hair back from his forehead and kiss his son’s scar and remind him, “your mother was the most brilliant witch there ever was and she’s watching over you, so you’ll never have to worry.”
even when pettigrew comes back and revives voldemort, james is on the quidditch pitch the minute harry comes back with the cup and cedric’s dead body, remus and sirius right behind him and swearing he’ll destroy anyone who doesn’t take his son seriously.
the fight at the ministry harry’s fifth year, james would remind sirius to keep focused, remind him not to get overwhelmed with adrenaline and to focus, and would watch not just harry’s back but his best friends’ too. when he sees sirius too focused on making fun to notice bellatrix amazing a curse straight at him, he dives in front of it to push sirius out of the way and ends up in St. Mungo’s after the fight, a little bruised and battered but with promises that he’ll heal and a sheepish apology from Padfoot in the former of an old, drool covered chew toy.
when harry disappears seventh year, he and james keep in contact with the magical mirrors that belonged to sirius and james paces the kitchen every evening, listening to potterwatch and shrugging off Sirius’ shoulder on his hand telling him that their boy will be okay because he’s incredibly smart and incredibly brave and honestly mate how’d you make such an amazing boy?
and then the fight at hogwarts happens. remus and sirius have each other’s backs and james just wants to find harry. he does, a little too late, being carried out of the woods in hagrid’s arms. he breaks down and drops to his knees and remus and sirius look at each other and think, “there is no way we can fix him after this.”
but then harry is back and voldemort is dead and james’ face is tear stained and they’re all worn out and bruised but their family is alive and sirius, a little hesitantly, offers, “…so who wants ice cream?”
punk isn’t just skinny. punk isn’t just perfect mohawks or aesthetically pleasing jackets. punk isn’t only listening to dead kennedys or black flag. punk is being an individual, having no respect for our fascist authority, sticking up for the little guy even if you are the little guy. punk isn’t just a look or a music scene.
i literally made this because nazis and the alt right can’t be punk
My friends, let me tell you a thing. If you open a fic to read and you don’t like it? You are under no obligation to read it.
If you’ve read all that author’s other fic and liked/loved it, but you open another and it’s just… bad for whatever reason? Love yourself and hit the backbutton.
You do not have to waste your precious minutes/hours reading a thing you cannot stand. Just exit stage left. No one is watching/no one is judging.
We’ve all been there!
Maybe it’s a highly recced fic, a fandom classic. Maybe it’s a new thing that sounded great in theory. Maybe you opened it up, giddy and excited only to plummet in despair because it just wasn’t good.
I found a beautiful copy of the Faeries’ Oracle in a secondhand bookshop for $15 a couple of weeks ago. An impulse purchase, but one I felt very strongly was the right decision… and, having just done my first tentative reading with it, I am all the more sure. It’s such a WARM, friendly deck, and Froud’s art is absolutely stunning. And, just to prove my decks are in cahoots, the reading is, I need to be sensible, wise and creative. I need to open myself to creativity, and focus on the dance and flow of it, not get caught up in trying to be perfect.
tarotprose replied to your photo post: WOW. This deck is so gorgeous!!! I am so happy for you. Have a great time bonding with it. Also do you have a favorite card or cards?
It’s really beautiful, truly. I bought it in part because I was getting interested in decks I could use to help me, and also because one of the books I lost recently, that were destroyed, was my edition of Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book, which was also by Froud. I hadn’t replaced it yet, and though the pictures are different, I knew the deck would be something I could use rather than a book I’d thumb through maybe once a year at most. I don’t have a favourite card yet. Once I know them and their meanings better, then maybe, but right now, the answer’s pretty much ‘all of them!’. 😀
After a few weeks of getting readings about how rotten the last couple of years had been, now I keep getting cards telling me that good things are coming, that I need to chill out and focus on my health, and that all the fear I have is just my anxiety telling me the sky is (still) falling.
tarotprose replied to your photo post: With your consent, sending you good vibes. ♥
Thank you! I’m such a newbie. I started this thinking I’d be maybe the only person using tarot to help organise my thoughts to help my mental health, or maybe the only person who’s an athiest using tarot, or the only queer person using tarot (given it’s traditionally got rigid gender roles/interpretations) and I’m really not. It’s making me feel a lot less alone, knowing there’s a bunch of people out there who are using cards to do something other than telling fortunes. Your good vibes are very much appreciated. 🙂
fan-of-encouragement replied to your photo post: *hugs you*
Thank you! *hugs back*
I found a beautiful copy of the Faeries’ Oracle in a secondhand bookshop for $15 a couple of weeks ago. An impulse purchase, but one I felt very strongly was the right decision… and, having just done my first tentative reading with it, I am all the more sure. It’s such a WARM, friendly deck, and Froud’s art is absolutely stunning. And, just to prove my decks are in cahoots, the reading is, I need to be sensible, wise and creative. I need to open myself to creativity, and focus on the dance and flow of it, not get caught up in trying to be perfect.
After a few weeks of getting readings about how rotten the last couple of years had been, now I keep getting cards telling me that good things are coming, that I need to chill out and focus on my health, and that all the fear I have is just my anxiety telling me the sky is (still) falling.
knitting in the dark 