Category: Uncategorized

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

taibhsearachd:

naamahdarling:

i-ran-over-the-easter-bunny:

bjornwilde:

Or you should lose weight and we’ll run tests again.

I get that doctors can be assholes sometimes, but y’all making fun of people from a stance where you know jack shit about medicine compared to them

Like did a doctor say this to your face? Say that you were faking? Or were you assuming because you misinterpreted something you don’t understand?

If a doctor asks “are you SURE about xyz” it’s not because they think you’re faking, it’s because many times a patient will hold back information without realizing it and, as you ask the question again, they may remember something that they didn’t the first time.

Like idk about the specific events around the OP, and in no way am I saying that there aren’t manipulative and abusive doctors out there, but people tend to misunderstand things that they don’t know very well.

Yeah, patients do frequently get told that it’s psychological, psychosomatic, due to stress*, etc. Like, that is a really common experience people with chronic illness have, or people with “weird” illnesses like chronic fatigue, Lyme, EDS, etc.

And alas, people with weird mystery illnesses or chronic illnesses *do* often know more about their illnesses than the average GP. GPs are trained to identify and diagnose horses. They aren’t prepared for unicorns, and some think they don’t even exist.

It’s not even manipulation or abuse, it’s just being lazy, or not having the right training and not wanting to GET the right training. An ignorant doctor can do just as much damage as a malicious one.

* “Due to stress” is VALID, stress can make you very very sick, but when a doctor wants to just leave it there instead of treating it, well, that’s shitty.

I put this in tags before, but fuck it. Never mind being accused of faking it, I have had a doctor straight-up tell me, about my cardiac and neurological symptoms that have made it impossible for me to work or leave the house alone, “Huh. That’s weird. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about that…”

No tests were run. No blood tests, no drug tests, no scans, not even a tilt-table test or the knock-off “sit down for a few minutes and then stand up while we take your blood pressure and heartrate” version of a tilt-table test that would have very quickly indicated that something is very wrong. They didn’t even suggest a referral to a specialist, the bare minimum you could do if you don’t know what the fuck you’re looking at. I’ve been suffering from a chronic, disabling condition since I was seventeen, and only now, twelve years later, have I begun to find someone who will listen and acknowledge that yeah, that’s actually a thing you’re dealing with and a problem.

Yeah, some doctors are good at their jobs. Some doctors give a shit. Some of them literally don’t listen to anything you say, and wave you off like your life-ruining symptoms are nothing, and just want you out of their office as soon as possible. All the medical training in the world doesn’t help when the person with that training fails at empathy, at listening to the people in front of them and hearing what they’re saying and acknowledging that this is a fucking human who is suffering and fixing that is literally their entire job.

“You’re probably not actually sick” or “that’s weird but I can’t fix it” is never an acceptable response, and fuck you for suggesting that chronically ill people don’t understand they’re being dismissed when almost all of us have dealt with it for literal years before we even begin to understand what’s wrong with us.

#look my stepmom is a doctor #i have a very dear friend who is in med school and I’m sure she’ll be great #but oh my god I hate doctors at large #and I have developed this hatred over years of being ignored and abused #‘maybe you misunderstood what they were saying…’ #BITE ME

I am lucky enough that my chronic illnesses are really easy to diagnose and understand for GPs: psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. Also depression, but thankfully when you go in saying “I have depression, I have tried these prescriptions, please try me on this other prescription” most GPs will kind of go “eh, okay.”  I have visible signs of psoriasis, and arthritis is pretty easy to get doctors to pay attention to, even when you’re only 25 years old.

On the other hand, we have my wife, @taibhsearachd, who explained her position above.  She’s had some SERIOUS BULLSHIT going on since she was 17 years old, I have been personally privy to it, and I have accompanied her to 99% of her doctor’s appointments, and despite BOTH our best efforts at getting doctors to listen – seriously, ME FROM THE OUTSIDE explaining shit that I could VISIBLY OBSERVE – we still got shit like, and I reiterate that this is literally what we were told, “Huh, that’s weird, too bad we can’t do anything about it”.  Without ANYTHING BEING TESTED AT ALL.

And like, even for shit that should be easier to deal with, like “i’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and my antidepressants don’t work anymore and I need a new one”, I’ve LITERALLY WITNESSED a goddamn doctor dismiss her request for a prescription with the statement “You’re too pretty to be depressed”

Some doctors are good.  But unfortunately MANY OF THEM are fucking shit at their jobs.  They, like the girl in the cubicle behind me plans on doing, became doctors for the money or prestige, or just don’t give a shit about things they’re not interested in, or WHAT THE FUCK EVER, and they are BAD AT THEIR JOBS and they ACTIVELY AVOID HELPING PEOPLE WHO DESPERATELY NEED THEIR HELP.

And that is a goddamn FACT.

Your daily reminder that dismissal of women’s reported symptoms in health situations straight up kills them.

Also, your regular reminder that if a marginalised person who has experienced discrimination says, “You’re hurting me”, your response should never be, “No, I’m not.” It should be, “Oh shit, I should listen to your words and not do that again.” Otherwise, you’re deliberately making the choice to perpetuate the harm against a vulnerable person, and that makes you an abuser. If your response is, “maybe you imagined it/misinterpreted the situation/exaggerated it”, you’re gaslighting them, and are an abuser. If you use the vulnerable person’s physical health/mental health/disability/race/class/religion/gender/sexuality as an excuse for how they’re treated differently, then you’re an abuser and a bigot and possibly a eugenicist. And if you use your status to do this to people on a regular basis because you think that status makes you better than them, then you’re a classist tool abusing those without the status to fight back.

@i-ran-over-the-easter-bunny should read what I just wrote and read what they wrote again and have a good hard think about why they’re so eager to jump in and defend people in a position of power over vulnerable sick people. Why they’re so willing to dismiss the testimony of victims of systemic violence and abuse (neglect IS violence), and accept that medical professionals THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW are morally and professionally pure and never inclined to ignore, dismiss or gaslight the people in their care because it’s easier than actually doing their damn job. People with complex and/or undiagnosed health conditions often have to become experts in their own health because doctors often don’t have enough specialised knowledge to treat them without making the choice to educate themselves further, which many are just not bothered to do. It’s just so much easier to write ‘anxiety’ or ‘obesity’ or ‘drug seeking’ on a file and forget about them.

For an example, the average dignosic window between symptoms reported and diagnosis for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is ten years. It took my partner thirty years and probably over twenty health professionals to get a diagnosis, and only then because we did our homework and asked for referrals for a specialist who could diagnose that specific condition. Even now, with a diagnosis, we are running into doctor after doctor who are convinced it’s another specialist’s problem, including a cardiologist who acknowledged, only when pushed for clarification, that she had an electrical problem with her heart, potentially serious, but that he ‘wasn’t going to do anything about it’. In those words. Tell me who’s faking it, who knows jack shit, who misunderstood something about a cardiologist who can’t be bothered to treat a potentially serious heart condition, when it’s LITERALLY HIS JOB.

gaymilesedgeworth:

gaymilesedgeworth:

when i was a baby gay i had a huge crush on Darlene from Roseanne

they really tried to pretend this character was heterosexual 

Didn’t we all? Also, Sara Gilbert realised she was a lesbian while dating her on-screen boyfriend, Johnny Galecki, so in my own head canon that’s what happened with Darlene, end of. Gay forever after. Like Steve Rogers has been claimed by the Bisexuals, Darlene Connor is forever of the generation of wlw who had their first big gay awakenings listening to Melissa Etheridge, Jill Soubule, and Sarah McLaughlan, wearing plaid and black nail polish, writing poetry and songs, and watching Daria in the afternoons.

‘We’ve begged, pleaded, done everything’

solarpunkartist:

hollowedskin:

eveningstarwoman:

the Butterfly Cave is a sacred place where women from this indigenous community conduct ceremony, pray, and pass knowledge down to young women and girls; sign this petition to support their fight to protect it!

Please sign the petition, (linked in the article) the nsw government needs to step in to protect this indiginous women’s space.

I signed. Please do the same and then share! 

‘We’ve begged, pleaded, done everything’

when-it-rains-it-snows:

kate has LOADS of questions

  • where was this
  • how old were you
  • what was the horse’s name
  • tell me about the horse
  • that is a very cool horse
  • (also I like how “amazing” is in sarcastic finger quotes)
  • what the hell are you wearing (do you still own it? reasons.)
  • did I just count FOUR earrings ♥

clint has just one to be completely honest

  • WHERE DO YOU KEEP FINDING THIS SHIT
  • (also fuck you those are not sarcastic quotes)

of course kate has an answer

  • boxes you didn’t unpack and stuffed under your bed (I was just looking for more putty arrows I super promise)
  • your exes
  • eBay
  • SARCASTIC FINGER QUOTES A-MAZE-ING

The importance of Autoboyography – a personal perspective

I’m from the position where I didn’t grow up in Provo or a town like it, I grew up in Australia, where Mormons are a Christian minority, but that separateness still dictates everything. Everything is about us and them and the line between. I don’t think I had a single teacher that my mother didn’t make me give Books of Mormon to. Every friend that visited my home, my mother pressured me to bring to church. LDS members buy from other members, hire other members, socialise with other members, and glory in that isolation. But at the same time, there’s the incredibly toxic fishbowl of church culture. If your parents separate, for example, shunning is a very real thing. I had mothers refuse to let me touch their babies, as though family dysfunction was catching. And I was a child at the time.

Nothing was secret, either. I was abused, and all my school teachers were quietly informed, so that I was given an easier time of things. All but one. Why? He was a church member, and my mother knew that if he knew, his wife knew, and if his wife knew, the ward and even the stake knew. Anything told to the bishop was told to his wife and circulated through the congregation. Women, in particular, were ruthlessly policed, not only by the men but by each other. Anyone who couldn’t keep up with church callings, work, home and family while keeping a permanent smile pasted in place was obviously sinning somehow. All you had to do was trust in God, and that was easy, right? I read somewhere that Mormon states in the US have the highest per capita anti-depressant use. I don’t know how legit it is, but I believe it. I was medicated by sixteen, and no matter how hard I tried, I was never enough. We had one pregnancy in my high school in my age group, out of 150 kids. Our young women’s group, 25 girls aged 12-18, had about a 50% teen pregnancy rate. Hypocrites and liars and smile, smile, always smile.

And that isn’t even touching on the unspoken spectre of what would happen if you were anything but cishet/straight. In Australia, there wasn’t Evergreen, but there was always the understanding that kids who were wrong went somewhere to be fixed. I read Saving Alex last year, and all I could think was that this was what the new face of cure culture was. I knew someone online years ago who’d been through Evergreen. Out of the dozen or so who were there at the same time, he was the only one who hadn’t yet killed himself.

I read Josh and Lolly Weed’s divorce post today, and there was a part where he said,

“For me, though, it all came down to the people I met with–the actual human beings who were coming to my office. They would come and sit down with me, and they would tell me their stories. These were good people, former pastors, youth leaders, relief society presidents, missionaries, bishops, Elder’s Quorum presidents, and they were … there’s no other way to say this. They were dying. They were dying before my eyes. And they would weep in desperation—after years, decades, of trying to do just as they had been instructed: be obedient, live in faith, have hope. They would weep with me, and ask where the Lord was. They would sob. They would wonder where joy was. As a practitioner, it became increasingly obvious: the way the church handled this issue was not just inconvenient. It didn’t make things hard for LGBTQIA people. It became more and more clear to me that it was actually hurting them. It was killing them.”

And yes, that’s what Church policy is meant to do, it’s what it’s always been meant to do. It’s meant to kill us. If we die, then we’re a sad story, designed to spread a message. We were weak, God meant for it to be, and isn’t it better this way?

The only way to win is to stay alive. Eat your anger and let it burn in your belly. Stand in that field without walls and scream long and loud, and don’t smile for anyone else’s comfort. Wear rainbows like armour and love like you’re throwing grenades. Survive, and seek happiness, and prove the bastards wrong. And that, that is why this book is so important. It’s a story so normal, so sweet and simple, about two people finding love and finding themselves, and the happy ending isn’t the one the church says is the only way. There are many roads to happiness. You might have to look long and hard to find them, but it isn’t one-size-fits-all. It isn’t predetermined. It’s individual, and unique, and beautifully, wonderfully average. That’s what the church doesn’t want queer kids to know. That’s what this book reveals, so beautifully. And I’m just so blown away that it exists, in my lifetime, and that I got to read it. It’s wonderful.

Using my powers for good

thequietestlilbucket:

seananmcguire:

iamshadow21:

Just requested five purchases from my local library: Autoboyography, Beneath the Sugar Sky, When the Moon was Ours, Not Your Sidekick, and Dreadnought.

They bought Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel and Down Among The Sticks and Bones for me last year, so. *fingers crossed*

Reminder that you can request items for purchase, and then, not only do you get to read them if the library buys them, but you’re making them available for others, for example, closeted queer kids who can read them at the library under the guise of study if their home isn’t a safe space. Be the change you wish you had when you were a kid.

❤ ❤ ❤

Wait, Dreadnought by April Daniels?! It’s so good! I mean, gonna warn you that it has hella transphobic characters (including an emotionally abusive father) that you’re supposed to hate, but it’s really good if that’s not an issue for you.

I actually own it already – I bought a second hand copy from BetterWorldBooks – and I love it and think it’s super important. I know the transphobia in it is hard to read, but it’s not sugar-coated and it’s an #ownvoices writer describing a very common transgender experience through the lens of science fiction. I don’t think there’s anything quite like it in my library’s YA collection yet. Thanks for the warning, though.