Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
…aaaaaand curtain.
you can laugh but that is literally what happened
This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I love that super fuckin dramatic zoom in shot on bucky tho, like. if this was a cartoon, the shadows would’ve come in, the animation style would’ve changed slightly, the background music would’ve built ominously.
and then it all would’ve stopped when he asked clint the same question and clint was a little shithead about it.
aw they’re so ready to fight a guy twice their size with a sword to save their pal hobbits are the Hufflepuffs of Tolkien Land and I LOVE them
NO HE WAS SUCH A SWEET OLD GATEKEEPER
when ya sleepover gets out of control
when you’re the one friend with insomnia and everyone else wakes up late in the morning and you gotta pretend like you haven’t been sitting there having an existential crisis for the past 6 hours
so is this that guy everyone’s been thirsting over for the past seventeen years
don’t think he knows about second breakfast
do you mean to tell me ‘second breakfast’ isn’t some meme ya’ll came up with ten years ago
what’s really wild to me is the last two hobbits weren’t asked or even ordered to go on this mission with Frodo. Literally they could have walked away as soon as they were caught stealing vegetables but they were immediately in it for the long haul. They went from running from some aggravated farmer to hiding from basically the lord of death and suffering and didn’t even blink an eye? Without it even being discussed they’re just like. Here now. Where are we going next Frodo. We’ll follow you. We’ve got nothing better to do. Farmer was out of cabbages anyway. Let’s go to Mount Doom.
*random singing*
mate we’re trying to sleep???
quick question is this dude’s hair ever not wet
THIS IS RUDE
SOMEONE GET HIM A BLANKET HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS
he just pulled out a fuckin pile of swords and weaponised these small, fun loving creatures I swear by the end of this movie at least one of them is gonna have PTSD
their love of food has brought about their potential demise and I wanna be mad but honestly that’s how I see myself going one day
I’ll tell you who opens the jars in a lesbian relationship. we both do and we have to keep handing the jar back and forth for one to have a go while the other encourages her in a loving and supportive way.
“A federal judge late Friday barred the federal government from implementing President Donald Trump’s ban on transgender members of the military, finding that the ban had to be subject to a careful court review before implementation because of the history of discrimination against transgender individuals.
U.S. District Judge Marsha Pechman of the Western District of Washington ruled that transgender people were a protected class and that the injunctions against the implementation of the ban that had been issued in December should remain in place. She wrote that there was a “long and well-recognized” history of discrimination and systemic oppression against transgender people, that discrimination against transgender people was clearly “unrelated to their ability to perform and contribute to society,” that transgender people have immutable characteristics and that they lacked relative political power.
“Transgender people have long been forced to live in silence, or to come out and face the threat of overwhelming discrimination,” Pechman wrote.
“The Court also rules that, because transgender people have long been subjected to systemic oppression and forced to live in silence, they are a protected class. Therefore, any attempt to exclude them from military service will be looked at with the highest level of care, and will be subject to the Court’s ‘strict scrutiny.’ This means that before Defendants can implement the Ban, they must show that it was sincerely motivated by compelling interests, rather than by prejudice or stereotype, and that it is narrowly tailored to achieve those interests,” Pechman wrote.
While Trump had tweeted that he consulted generals and military experts about the ban, Pechman wrote that the government had “failed to identify even one General or military expert he consulted, despite having been ordered to do so repeatedly.”
THIS IS HUGE NEWS and can have major implications for trans rights moving forward in the US, as it establishes a precedent for legal treatment of trans people as a protected class due to ongoing persecution. This means it would be illegal to fire someone, to refuse them a job, or a home/apartment rental, because the person is trans.
Folks, even if you’re a pacifist / anti-military, remember:
THE TRANS BAN DOES NOTHING TO STOP MILITARISM, AND EVERYTHING TO LEGALIZE & NORMALIZE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THE TRANS COMMUNITY.
💖TRANS PEOPLE ARE A PROTECTED CLASS 💖
This declaration of Trans people as a protected class is important beyond the military because it has effects on laws that would seek to implement discriminatory practices towards trans people in other areas of US law.
Ok y’all I need to know: are you a tight clothes autistic or a baggy clothes autistic? Do you buy everything a size up or a size down?
Size down. Tighten up those clothes. Show off that ass. Flash those ankles. Set the world on fire. Hide under the table in a panic.
#Mood
I want my clothes to cling to my body like a second skin (well, at least the bottom layer of clothes. Other layers can be swishy)
Everything loose except underwear, shoes, socks and wristwatch. Can’t stand those things too loose. Tight stuff on my feet and wrists actually helps me be grounded. I have a pair of polar fleece bondage cuffs that I’ve taken all the buckles off that are great for this and help me avoid meltdowns in public.
knitting in the dark 