Mum brought in two huge bowls of mandarins yesterday when she mowed, and this barely put a dent in them. Apparently, trees are still loaded – mandarins, limes and blood oranges everywhere. Send help.
Author: Iam Shadow
Okay, new rule.
No more doubting myself.
No more doubt. Nope. Not doing it.
I KNOW that the abuse was That Bad. I know this. I have told people I trust who are SENSIBLE about it and gotten a lot of horrified and unimpressed looks when I reflexively try to justify it with “But it didn’t happen that often” or “But I did X first”.
Even two fucking years after I got out of that house.
“She only grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the floor because-”
No. Not doing it. NO. (Also, I was THREE. And five. And seven. And twelve. And it was ongoing. What the hell. WHO DOES THAT?)
“I said I couldn’t breathe and she said if I couldn’t breathe I wouldn’t be talking, and I mean it’s not like I DIED, so -”
No.
No more.
“I was having a temper tantrum, so she-”
No.
I was having a MELTDOWN, because I was a neurodivergent child who was being abused from at least age 2 onward, and I was in an intolerable situation.
I know that the abuse really was That Bad. Period.
No more doubt.
i got out a while back – still do this, trying to stop. my friends are still horrified every time i dredge a New Bad up from the memory hole.
it was that bad. let’s have 2018 be the year we stop prevaricating on behalf of people that hurt us.
“every time I dredge a New Bad up from the memory hole” is a very good and visceral description of what it feels like.
I very much agree! Let’s have 2018 be the year we stop prevaricating on behalf of people that hurt us.
The Memory Hole is a good analogy, but I know sometimes I’ve just casually mentioned something and stopped because the reactions of the people I’m talking to tells me this is Not Normal Childhood. I’m thirty six, and the last major time this happened was three years ago. I casually mentioned how the dynamic between myself and my mother operated when I was a preteen onward till I left home, and the person I was talking to was someone I’d been close friends with since I was thirteen, and she looked shocked. I’d told her all kinds of details of the shit my dad did to me decades ago, so it wasn’t like I was springing on her the fact that I’d been abused. She looked furious and very clearly told me that what went on between me and my mother was flat out abusive and wrong. And that wasn’t some discovered memory, or something I knew was bad that I was disclosing for the first time – that was something I’d never talked about because I never thought there was anything to talk about. My baseline, yet again, was established as way, way wrong – and with the parent no one had ever labelled the abusive one. So I’m dealing with the exhaustion, anger and bitterness I thought I’d left behind in my teenage years, in my thirties, for the OTHER parent. And while I’m yet again living with her.
this-seamonkeys-gone-to-heaven:
Legitimate *pro bono legal services* don’t exist without a good reason. In a few of the exmormon groups I’m in you’ll see regular posts saying stuff like “Look what my lawyer sent me today!” with a pic of their resignation confirmation letter from the church.
You know. Just stuff that a normal average church that is definitely not actually a cult would do. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
🙄
As an ex-mormon, I’m gonna look the fuck into this. I want nothing to do with the church that shaped so much toxicity about my self image and my sexual orientation.
Not sure if any followers need this but if you do, here you go.
Everyone should be able to choose their religious beliefs and community, and leave any that they find does not work for them.
Ex mormon here – this guy’s legit. The Mormon holds your files for eternity, and when they find out that you’ve moved to a new area, they will send members and missionaries from that region to harass you. I know this sounds like dystopic bullshit, but they followed my father through three moves before he rejoined the church.
Also ex mormon here who used this. It’s a ridiculously helpful service that is incredibly easy to use. They keep you updated throughout the whole process, and it’s totally worth it since the church doesn’t get to keep all your private information and pass it around once you resign 🙂
Best thing I ever did. About fifteen years and counting. Before then, my own mother kept giving church people my address, even when I was sleeping on someone’s floor. It got so bad, I threatened to end all contact with her. Once I successfully resigned my membership using a form letter, I was no longer harrassed by active church members.
Story of my life people. You know what’s real ? The struggle.
Happy Pride Month ♥
Honestly, reasons I love the word “queer” so much
What LGBTQIAP+ YA books do you think would make amazing coloring books? 🎨📚
When The Moon Was Ours. No question. Also, Labyrinth Lost. Basically anything magical realism with a rich palette of descriptive language.
Because I never see these
Native Girls are beautiful.
Native Boys are beautiful.
First Nations Girls are beautiful.
First Nations Boys are beautiful.
Indigenous Girls are beautiful.
Indigenous Boys are beautiful.
Aboriginal Girls are beautiful.
Aboriginal Boys are beautiful.
Inuit Girls are beautiful.
Inuit Boys are beautiful.
Métis Girls are beautiful.
Métis Boys are beautiful.
Aleut Girls are beautiful.
Aleut Boys are beautiful.
Afro-Indigenous Girls are beautiful.
Afro-Indigenous Boys are beautiful.
Mi’kmaq girls are beautiful.
Mi’kmaq boys are beautiful.
Two-Spirit Girls are beautiful.
Two-Spirit Boys are beautiful.
You’re beautiful if you have dark skin.
You’re beautiful if you have light skin.
You’re beautiful if you’re in between.
You’re beautiful if you’re mixed.
You’re beautiful if you fit the Western Gender Binary.
You’re beautiful if you’re don’t fit the Western Gender Binary.
You’re beautiful if you’re multiple genders.
You’re beautiful.(Aboriginal, Inuit, and Métis lines added by @phaedragona. Two-Spirit lines added by many people. Afro-Indigenous and Mixed lines added by @condorofrph. Aleut lines added by anonymous. Mi’kmaq lines added by @kennachaos . Correction on gender lines by @doyoumisterjones . If there’s anyone I’ve left out, feel free to add on to it and/or message me and I’ll change the original post.
Raise your hand if you like getting detailed critiques on the myriad flaws in a fanwork you completed over three years ago.
What.
The fuck.
Are people thinking.
I got a comment the other day asking me if I could ‘make this into a real fic, a long one i could fangirl over’. The fic was nearly 5,000 words long, and in a fandom I hadn’t been part of for nearly ten years. It was very obviously a complete work. There was nothing else to the comment. No praise, no ‘I liked this part’, no nothing.
If you ask yourself “Would Gomez Addams treat me this way?” And the answer is no, move tf on from that situation.
I was delighted to have my second comic published on The Nib yesterday! The script for this one is by Josh Trujillo, and the art is me. You can read my other Nib comic here. You can find more of my work on instagram, patreon and my website.
Reblogging a year later- Happy Pride Month 😀
knitting in the dark 