neveryoumindhowthetrainislost:

taranoire:

princessfailureee:

clarknokent:

strawberryhorrorshow:

Being abused made me such a “good kid.”

I was

• Always polite
• Never acted without permission
• Never spoke out of turn
• Always did what I was told

And it’s shitty that I was considered mature and praised for those things, and all of those characteristics have translated into me being an immature, “bad adult.”

Now I

• Have difficulty making a keeping friends
• Can’t act without permission/am dependent on others for direction
• Am terrible at communicating
• Have no agency/personal compass

It’s a really difficult thing for people who were abused as children to grapple with.

What made us good children make us bad adults.

This is Important

THIS IS MY LIFE WOW

Conversely, while 90% of the time we’re kind and polite and accommodating, we get super fucking angry and have major outbursts when we feel threatened
Which is not a good look either

Additionally: not knowing how to stand up for yourself or how to talk about difficult things because the default is to shut down and take it. Because standing up or showing emotion when doing so is seen as having an attitude.