Some great names for Mutts to confuse people:
- Heinzer/Heinz Hound/Funfundseben Hund
- Kitchen Sink Dog
- (adjective normally reserved for ornithology or Botany)+(lesser-known craft profession) i.e. Plileated Cooper, Spotted Milner, Variegated Millwright etc.
- Un-knee-kway Dog. When asked for the spelling, it’s U-N-I-Q-U-E
- (region)+(suspect activity)+Dog Ex: Arizona Loitering Dog, Jersey Arson Dog, Tahiti Treason Dog. Be sure to make up a GREAT story for WHY.
- Son-Of-Many-Fathers
- Small Dogs: Cat Breeds.
- Large Dogs: Horse Breeds
- Weird Dogs: Python Breeds.
- (The longest German word you can pronounce without passing out)+Hund
- (ridiculous British name)+(improbable game)+Hunting-Dog. Cudginton’s Elephant-Hunting-Dog, Humphrey’s Whaling Dog.
- “What is he?” “A Dog.”
- Act confused when asked to elaborate. Deny that breeds exist as anything other than a social construct and that you refuse to participate in a system that discriminates based on heritage, how dare they, throw a tantrum, get kicked out of the dog park. Never have to speak to Karen and her bratty, inbred cavalier spaniels again.
When I asked my buddy R what he figured his obvious mutt was, he said “American Brown Dog”.
I started using this two weeks ago with my parents and birdwatching. “Sam, what is that bird!” “North American Grey Bird. And that’s a special Canadian Two Footed Bird, you don’t see those that often this far south.”
Out here, you call them a ‘Bitzer’, as in, ‘bits-a-this and bits-a-that’.
knitting in the dark 